7 Ways to Eat a Cricket

24 May
Cricket in close-up

This is actually a grasshopper. But let's face it, they're basically the same thing. Right? Right. Photo by ABremner/"scoobygirl" - Click the image to view their photostream.

This week, I celebrated Lollipop Tuesday by eating a cricket.  Sour cream and onion, to be exact.  Grossed out? So am I.   Don’t want to read on? I don’t blame you.  Don’t know what Lollipop Tuesday is?  Check out the top of the page to calm that burning sensation in your cerebrum.

As it turns out, I need quite a bit of convincing to chomp down on the thoracic exterior of a once-live, now-sour-cream-‘n’-onion cricket.  It took me nearly half an hour to throw it down the hatch.  Here are some of the reasonings my mind attempted during the excruciating limbo:

“I’m sure lots of people in other cultures eat bugs.  Yeah.  I’m sure I’ve seen it on a travel channel or something.  Lots of other countries have people who see this just like I see a banana.  A banana with legs and eyes and antenna.  …No.  no that’s not working.

Maybe there’s something on the box that will help me.  Like a breakdown of how darn healthy this is for me.  *gets box* Actually, it appears there’s only a diagram of the cricket.  Outlining all its bits and pieces.  

Okay, look.  This is easy.  It’s 9:00pm, and I don’t have anything new for Lollipop Tuesday.  Nothing.  And it’s too late to go out and try to do something tonight so it’s cricket or bust.  Cricket or bust.  Cricket or bust.  Just do it.  Do it and blog it.  Bam.  Wham Bam Bam-o.  

No, I can’t. EEEEeeeewww look at it.  Look at iiiiiit.  Its little leg is poking out from the rest of it.  EW.

All right, JESUS! I SHOULD EAT THEM BECAUSE OF JESUS.  SAINT JOHN THE BAPTIST IS SAID TO HAVE LIVED ON LOCUSTS AND HONEY IN THE DESERT.  I CAN BE LIKE JOHN.

 FOR JESUS!!

No, I’m sorry, this is disgusting.  I can’t do this.  I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t.

Okay here we go.  I’ll turn it into a drink.  A Cricket Soco Shot.  Yeaaaah *goes and pours shot* Okay – new shot!  Crunch up the cricket as fast as you can, and shoot the Soco.  

Ew.  I can’t do this.  I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this.  This is disgusting.  All for a stinking blog.  A BLOG.  NO ONE’S EVEN GOING TO CARE.

All right, forget it.  Just forget it.  I’m just going to set an egg timer and when it goes off, I eat it.  Like Scattegories.  Okay.  *Tick tick tick …..* 

….

Okay this is unbearable.  5-4-3-2-1!”

 

And that’s when I did it.  I popped the cricket in my mouth, where I quickly crunched down on it and kicked it to the back right corner of my mouth.  My tongue in a frenzy to work to somehow chew it without tasting it, I was frozen in terror and got it lodged between my lip and teeth.  Mortified, my tongue scraped at my teeth, trying to work it to the back of my throat where my esophagus could take over and I could be released from my peril. 

Finally, it dislodged and I washed it back with a shot of Southern Comfort and disgust.  I quickly reached for my enormous glass of orange juice, which I stashed for such a crisis.  I guzzled the entire cup down in a blink and ran to the bathroom to rinse what I was sure were little cricket bits out from my mouth.

Haggard, I walked into the living room, where Dave made a remark about the irony of my egg timer being a ladybug.  And then something or other about the cricket being in my throat and wanting to crawl back up.

Today, I’m walking around with a lump in my throat, mulling over the atrocity that I swallowed the evening prior.  I imagine it swimming in my bowels, I imagine it running through the course of my digestive system, all the while a beady, black-eyed, cricket.    

Which, by the way, doesn’t taste as much like sour cream and onion as it does regret. ♠

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210 Responses to “7 Ways to Eat a Cricket”

  1. kala March 23, 2014 at 10:28 am #

    I want to eat a cricket now

    • Jackie March 26, 2014 at 7:18 pm #

      It’s unpleasant.

  2. kala March 23, 2014 at 10:27 am #

    I never wanted to try my salt and vinegar crickets but you inspired me to

  3. geeloubee February 23, 2013 at 6:27 pm #

    I think my blog is the above link, i can never remember. Either that or bellblueprints.blogspot.co.uk

    I have been laughing myself to tears with this post and I think it is too incredibly brave of you to even attempt to do this let alone actually eat the whole thing so well done.
    :)

    • Jackie February 27, 2013 at 3:14 pm #

      It appears to be the one listed :) Thanks for reading and (I took a gander at your blog) best wishes for a healthy, happy muffin!

  4. Jill Thaxton October 12, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    Watch out. Normal food will not quite be the same after such an adrenaline rush.

    • Jackie October 13, 2011 at 8:02 pm #

      I’ve been struggling ever since.

  5. lordbandogthewiser June 7, 2011 at 2:25 am #

    The Great and Terrible Mad God Zonpabtatiel says eating insects is the key to enlightenment.

    • Jackie June 7, 2011 at 7:54 pm #

      I went to your blog and am confused. But intrigued.

  6. Abstract Sculpture May 30, 2011 at 5:57 am #

    Way too go! Insects are a perfectly reasonable source of protein for many cultures. I always thought it was funny that people thought of eating crickets as dirty or gross, but then eat Macdonald’s hamburgers. I used to teach survival and had my students eat cicada and now that I live in Korea people eat silkworm larvae a lot. Must admit that the silkworm leave much to be desired. They smell so bad.

    Congrats for venturing out of the normal culinary bubble.

    • Jackie May 31, 2011 at 9:38 pm #

      thank you! :) I don’t know that I could really get into it, to be honest. But it’s funny – one of the things I told myself when I was gearing up for the big moment was that at least it’s not larvae. :)

  7. Carl May 28, 2011 at 5:24 am #

    Must say, I love crickets:)

    • Jackie May 31, 2011 at 9:53 pm #

      well kudos to you sir, because that’s a crunch I don’t think I’ll ever crave :)

  8. Harold May 27, 2011 at 1:23 pm #

    Well you got FPed out of it and that’s cool! I would have to do it with others, not by myself. Gutsy girl! :)

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:26 pm #

      Well, I had to do it with my boyfriend because (quite frankly) I make him join in on almost all my Lollipop Tuesdays. It’s been a great relationship-builder for us. Especially the ice skating one, in which I was a hot, hot mess. :) Thanks so much for stopping by!

  9. ladybekii May 27, 2011 at 8:06 am #

    This is the first time ive ever read something like this O.O people do do mad things xDD

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:27 pm #

      Glad I could expand your horizons ;) It’s the first time I’ve written anything like this so we’re all even Stevens. :) Thanks for reading!

  10. April @ Private Money Utah May 26, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

    Bravo to your bravery!Haha! I’ve tried crispy, stir fried cricket in Thailand last year. It taste bland for me but the creepy-crawly legs of it made me sick. Nevertheless, it was a good experience!

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:28 pm #

      Man, I’ve gotten a lot of notes about bugs in Thailand. Should I eventually develop a taste for them, I’ll certainly have to visit ;)

  11. This is gold. haha. Thanks for sharing. If ever I consider making the same mistake, I will just remember your experience and say no thanks.

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:34 pm #

      Thanks for sharing! :)

  12. The Logophile May 26, 2011 at 4:14 am #

    I can’t thank you enough for the laughs that you gave me. LMAO. I read it and felt it all- you wrote incredibly well. I am sorry you had to crunch on that critter to write a post but I understand the need to do things sometimes to come up with something to write about. And you did it better than Amazing.

    Congrats on FP. Hope you got all the legs out from between your teeth.

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:35 pm #

      Eeeew that last part made me cringe. And wonder if I really *did* have them all out. :) Glad you enjoyed – thank you so much for stopping by.

  13. realanonymousgirl2011 May 26, 2011 at 2:01 am #

    Yeah that’s totally gross! There’s no way I’d do it. And after that explanation, definitely not gonna happen.

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:35 pm #

      LOL aw cmon. :)

  14. You are very brave!

    My father actually hosts a Cricket Spittin’ contest every year at our local festival. People love it.

  15. isfahan May 25, 2011 at 10:53 am #

    This is gold. haha. Thanks for sharing. If ever I consider making the same mistake, I will just remember your experience and say no thanks.

  16. michael munday May 25, 2011 at 10:40 am #

    I really enjoyed your piece! But for a really nice way to eat crickets, go to Japan – particularly Tsumago.

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:41 pm #

      lol all right. I’ll keep it in mind if I get a hankering again ;)

  17. kaylabug311 May 25, 2011 at 10:23 am #

    Love it! Stumbled upon your blog in the Freshly Pressed and I must say I absolutely just love your writing! I’ve subscribed to your blog I enjoyed your writing syle so much. You’re posts are written with plenty of wit, fun and seriousness too. It’s inspired me to be more true to my own voice in my posts and to try and add a little bit more humor. Keep writing!

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:42 pm #

      Thanks, Kayla! I’m so flattered I just don’t even know what to do with myself. Thanks for the encouragement. I’ll be stopping by your place to check out your voice :)

  18. Trinity River May 25, 2011 at 10:19 am #

    You are braver than I. My way would be to say “let’s not and say we did.” I’m sure your digestive system is up to the task. Just try not to think about it :)

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:43 pm #

      haha yeaaah well unfortunately I thought about it in detail to write this post and these words are forever with me. Thank goodness I can trust that it’s moved out of my system by now :)

  19. sportsjim81 May 25, 2011 at 9:22 am #

    So here’s the thing. I have what some might consider an unhealthy fear of crickets. I think it stems from the time that I got out of the shower as a kid and one fell out of the ceiling vent and onto my shoulder. I despise those little, creepy, black singers of satan! I could never have done what you did, but as a hater of crickets, it’s good to know that there is at least one less in the world. Thanks!

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:44 pm #

      EEEEEW I hate the surprise bug in the shower bit. I hate it so much.

      I’m glad I did you a service. When I told my brother I was going to eat a cricket he told me I could at least eat something useful and go for a stinkbug. Something about them not having any natural predators or something. But if I helped crunch one out in the name of your fear, then my cricket did a service as well :)

  20. heesbees May 25, 2011 at 7:38 am #

    Oh my god. Eew Eew Eew! I can’t believe you had the courage to do it. Good on you… I know I could never do it. Just seeing a cricket makes me scream. And stepping on one makes me scream louder. I’m off to find out now what this lollipop Tuesday business is. If it can make people do things like this, then it’s probably really interesting! :)

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:45 pm #

      haha well it’s surprising what one will do when under blog pressure. I made a deal to do something new and I’ve just gotta stick to it. Almost halfway there and a lot more challenging experiences to go. You should get on board! :)

  21. Mark Kaplowitz May 25, 2011 at 6:44 am #

    Gross and hilarious! Congrats on FP. I will definitely have to come back for future posts.

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:45 pm #

      Thanks so much, Mark :) I appreciate you dropping in.

  22. ALIVE aLwaYs May 25, 2011 at 6:33 am #

    Your description was remarkable, something really enjoyable. I guess, you were definitely into cricket, finding ways to eat was always on cards. Nice going, good job!

    • Jackie May 27, 2011 at 6:46 pm #

      Thanks a lot! I appreciate you stopping by and leaving a little encouragement :)

  23. mrthekidd May 25, 2011 at 3:52 am #

    You made me laugh out loud, not just lol, but actually laugh. Especially the highlighted irony by Dave.
    Pure comedy gold.

    Congrats on being FP’d :)

    BTW, maybe next time you should do a few slammers first…

  24. jennyscribbles May 25, 2011 at 3:26 am #

    Good job! I would need a couple shots of whiskey before eating him though! haha. Very funny too.

  25. caity May 25, 2011 at 3:15 am #

    85 Comments.. people care! :)

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:17 am #

      touche :)

  26. Russell May 25, 2011 at 3:03 am #

    They actually taste really good! And our ‘instinctive’ revulsion is not instinctive at all. I have a friend from Africa who loves eating grasshoppers/locusts/crickets (same as the picture – different names in different places). He loves grasshoppers, but turns pale when he sees people eating shellfish or prawns.

    I tried some grasshoppers and a water bug in Thailand this year. The grasshoppers were delicious, but the water bug not so great. I’ll definitely eat them again!!

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:18 am #

      haha – I love the reversal there. I could never refuse a good piece of haddock, but my oh my was that bug difficult to down. Thanks for sharing!

  27. Scott May 25, 2011 at 1:50 am #

    Hilarious–I’m glad you did it for your blog, we’re definitely reading it, as you can see! A grasshopper is very different from a cricket, for me. I’d much rather eat a grasshopper if I had to eat either (crickets are too much like roaches). But I’d rather eat neither–it’s the crunch that would bother me the most!

    However, as a child, I took up ant-eating, for a time–till my mom made me stop! As I recall, they really had no taste–too small to taste. But several years ago, as an adult, while digging for fishing worms, I thought, ‘I wonder how an earthworm tastes, too a fish?’ And I took one and ate it alive, chomping as quickly as I could. It was the most bitter taste I’ve ever encountered–why fish like it, I haven’t a clue!

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:20 am #

      Ewww I’d rather eat a cricket than a grasshopper. The wings?! And the size of it. Gross.

      You ate ants? AND a worm?! Most kids stick to play-dough – your mom should have been glad you were getting some protein! :)

  28. alfranco17 May 25, 2011 at 1:49 am #

    I’ve had grasshopers some 5 times, mostly out of curiosity (in most of Mexico they are very hard to find… cooked, at least). The first time I ate them I had a nightmare where I was being chased by giant chrocoaches with grasshoper bodies. Kind of like the movie Mimic.

    Keep doing it, and you’ll get used to it. After all, insects are said to be the food of tomorrow.

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:21 am #

      LOL can I just say that aside from being hilarious, the idea of giant cockroaches with grasshopper bodies gives me the willies.

      And no, I don’t think I’ll keep at it actually :P I’ll just have to be prepared to deal with it again when our diets all turn to insects.

  29. eva626 May 25, 2011 at 12:23 am #

    great post!!!…lets be best of friends now lol…love the picture!!

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:23 am #

      Thanks, Eva :D Yeah, all right. Besties it is. I mean, I think it’s a little fast, but I’m down with it if you promise not to hurt me.

  30. Jack May 24, 2011 at 11:57 pm #

    All I want to say you is that you are so awesome.

    Maybe you can try to eat earthworm.

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:24 am #

      ewww no don’t make me eat anything else gross.

      Thanks for stopping by :D

  31. wordsweneversaid May 24, 2011 at 10:51 pm #

    Hey you! Freshly pressed again – neat!

    Way to go (you SO earned it)

    M.L.

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:26 am #

      Thanks, M!! :D It’s a crazy ride.

  32. pheli0x May 24, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

    huh.. I did it, probably eating the cricket is hard, reading this post is horribly hard too!! but I did it, I read it all… Gosh… I can’t believe I read it…

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:26 am #

      LOL well thanks for enduring it. Let me know if you need me to hook you up with a counselor.

  33. phine May 24, 2011 at 10:49 pm #

    They’re grasshoppers. I don’t eat them. Insects.

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:28 am #

      neither do I, typically. Really. ;)

  34. ididntmakeitup May 24, 2011 at 10:34 pm #

    What can I say, you have balls. The majority of us would feel the exact same way but at the end of the countdown we would not have eaten it. They have cricket lollipops, think you should try that next?

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:29 am #

      I started to think I wouldn’t, to be quite honest. But the pressure of starting this whole thing and not committing to try one new experience a week would just be too much for me to bear if I failed. So down the hatch it was!

      Ew to the lollipops. I wanted it out of my mouth as fast as possible, not to suck on it and ponder.

      Then again, if I’m hard up for another Tuesday…. :)

  35. Eirien May 24, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

    The ramble before the chow-down is probably what would be going through my mind, too.

    I’m sure if I was at a place which served them regularly then I’d go for it without much hesitation. If everyone’s doing it, I won’t feel so upset! As it is, I just can’t eat them without a proper ‘excuse’.

    That said, sour cream and cricket actually does sound good…

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:34 am #

      Well you can find them easily online, so go for it if you must. But good luck actually getting a good taste of it because the entire time your brain will probably just turn off that sensory ability and just focus entirely on getting it down your throat.

      The Sour Cream and Onion is a non-issue. :)

  36. Ava Aston's Muckery May 24, 2011 at 9:39 pm #

    Crickets? For reals? I think I just vomited in the back of my throat.

    Blessings,

    Ava
    ‘xox

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:34 am #

      zomg me too! ;)

  37. richardchandler May 24, 2011 at 9:29 pm #

    crickets are pretty good actually! anyway, if you get a second check out my new blog. I am writing a book and publishing it chapter by chapter. I just posted chapter 3, so check it out!

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:35 am #

      I certainly shall – Grats on keeping at it!

  38. Grumpa Joe May 24, 2011 at 9:11 pm #

    Crickets go good with earthworms.

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:35 am #

      I’ll just go ahead and take your word for it ;)

  39. The_Observationalist_NYC May 24, 2011 at 8:13 pm #

    I once assisted a designer who bought me a box of crickets to eat because they were “good for you” as a Thank You gift. As I opened them, I thanked and hugged her. I promptly threw them away as soon as I got home.

    You’re a stronger person than I’ll ever be…

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:36 am #

      man, you couldn’t even let them hang around the house for a while so you could consider them?

      I don’t blame you :)

  40. Saxon's MovieView May 24, 2011 at 7:22 pm #

    Love the way you build up to the actual eating of the cricket. Nice job on being freshly pressed!

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:37 am #

      Thanks! Nice blog you’ve got there, by the way. I’m a huge fan of movies and movie buffs. Very cool.

  41. Gayle's Life Journey after 40 May 24, 2011 at 7:09 pm #

    Funny to see this article today. I was at the butterfly museum where they had a vending maching with pre-packaged worms and crickets. My sister wanted the bacon and cheese flavored crickets. We got them. She ate a couple and I ate one too. They were dried so it was crunchy not squishy! LOL. I have 4 more left in the package and will not eat another one. There are some things you just do so you can say you did it. This is one of those!

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:38 am #

      Ew. ew. ew.

      I’m sorry – eating crickets still isn’t sitting well with me. I can feel a leg of the dead one creeping up my throat.

  42. Kirsten May 24, 2011 at 5:48 pm #

    A lot of things are eaten in a lot of cultures – but that doesn’t mean that I could wrap my head around eating a cricket. Hats off to you for bravery!

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:41 am #

      haha thanks! I kept trying to tell myself that I could be eating something FAR worse. Things I can’t even fathom. It didn’t help, really, but it was a decent attempt.

  43. thorsaurus May 24, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    We fed crickets to our turtle for months. He loved them, but we had to change to pellets because he didn’t eat the legs and they would clog up the filter. A person’s liver is kind of like their filter, so I guess that cricket leg must have ended up stuck in your li… Well, do I have to draw you an MRI? :-]

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:42 am #

  44. Big Al May 24, 2011 at 5:22 pm #

    Great post by Jimimy!

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:43 am #

      Thanks for stopping by!

  45. Eva McCane May 24, 2011 at 5:19 pm #

    I appreciate the information, but I don’t believe I’ll be trying cricket anytime soon.

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:43 am #

      Then my job is done here. ;)

  46. Julia May 24, 2011 at 5:13 pm #

    I’ve heard that in Egypt they eat them in honey. I kind of want to try it but it seems to gross!!! I can’t believe you ate it? Was it good?

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:44 am #

      Hey, honey would have been better than supposedly sour cream and onion. And no, it was gross.

      I’m sure that in reality, the taste itself isn’t too bad, but I can’t get the whole “cricket” thing out of my head while I’m eating it. So yes, it’s gross. :)

  47. thorsaurus May 24, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

    The locust John the Baptist ate was a bean paste made from the fruit of a locust tree. You have managed to out-gross a man who’s head was served on a silver platter. Now that’s something to blog about. Well pressed. :-)

    • Jackie May 25, 2011 at 3:45 am #

      LOL Nice. Thanks so much for stopping by and sharing.

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