Today could be my last day alive.
At 9:00 am, my blog will be updated with this post. And at 9:05am, I will be boarding a flying machine that will quickly transport me through time and to Chicago, Illinois.
I am wrought with fear.
There are so many things I don’t know. Airports seem so complicated – what with all the scanning and checking and lining up. I’ve spent the last 4 years sending my bosses on airplanes all over the world and have completed itineraries for them chock full of details on what to do, where, and when. But alas, this is my first flight and I personally don’t know a damn thing about it all.
Most of what I know about flying comes from stand-up comedy. Isn’t that sad? It’s totally sad. Just say it. I didn’t even realize until today at Rite Aid just how darn convenient travel sizes really are.
Perhaps the most pathetic moment was when a director in my department at work reenacted a play-by-play for where I would go in the airport and the things that would happen to me in each phase. She literally walked through it in her office, going on about gates and boarding passes and things. She logged on the computer, put in my name, and printed my boarding pass. She ran through every single detail she could and took note of each step.
And that’s when I realized that that’s what it’s like to have an assistant.
Suddenly, the roles were reversed. All I had to do was tell her where I was going and she looked up the flight, printed my info, and directed me on the next steps. It was freaking awesome. I can’t even imagine how incredibly cool it must be to tell someone what I want to do in life and to have them figure it out and break it down for me in terms I can understand without humiliation in learning it because it’s that person’s job and I pay them to do it.
That’s pretty mindblowing.
I have literally logged on to Google Maps and converted it to Street View so that I can walk on the sidewalk exactly where my boss is walking at that moment to tell her exactly where to go. Can you imagine having someone do that for you?! I wouldn’t ever have to worry about how something happens – I could just go out and have new experiences and pay someone to research them and explain what to expect to me in small, childlike terms. I COULD DO ANYTHING.
I love this. This may be what I’ve always wanted my entire life.
I will make it so. ♣
The Jackie Blog 
good luck with the flight, can be scary flying on your own, but you’ll manage. There are usually plenty of signs and where the signs dont help, people in uniform generally do 🙂
and yes… having a personal assistant like that would be a dream! x
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You are so right – the people were fantastic. Thank heavens for airport employees being pleasant and helpful. They made the experience so much better.
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It’s 8:50 central time and Illinois is getting ready to greet you. The royal cheerers are all done, so they came over to line the parade route here. Don’t mind that many of the signs and towels have pictures that look suspiciously like Kate Middleton – merely coincidence.
I’ll be the one on 294 waiving a big, foam, #1 U of Illinois hand.
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You should have gotten a bigger foam hand – I couldn’t see you through the cloud cover. I really appreciated the parade, though. I didn’t know I was so big in Chicago. 😉
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I was GONNA get the jumbo hand, but it wouldn’t fit in my Rav4. Dang! Hope Chi-town treated you right.
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OK I can’t get past the fact that this is your first flight. why wasn’t that on your LT list?!
you’ll be fine. 🙂
and you’re gonna love chicago!
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oh it’s definitely on my list – Tuesday’s post will be entirely dedicated to it. And I’m loooving it here!
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Your first flight?? Congratualations! A whole new world will open to you – and Chicago is awesome!
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First 🙂 Thanks! It was truly terrifying. More on that Tuesday 😉
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Chicago is pretty awesome. But having an assistant is even more awesome. I still dream that dream myself…
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Let’s do it. Both of us. We’ll freak them out about messing up coffee orders or not booking us enough travel time between meetings. It will be splendid.
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Well, your first air travel experience will be impressive and, I think, should totally qualify as a delayed Lollipop Tuesday event. Pittsburgh and Chicago are both monster airports (be it O’Hare or Midway). Successful navigation thereof on one’s first flying trip will be, I predict, bigger news than… uh… what are their names, over there in Britain? Bonus points if you must claim luggage at your destination!
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Oh yes I will definitely blog about the experience for Tuesday’s entry – but I didn’t claim luggage. Too many horror stories!
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I’m with Kristen on this one. First flight in your 20’s? Wow. There’s a first for everything! Have fun in Chi-city. I’ll also pray that you don’t get groped by airport security. huhuhu
I lived there for a year or two. Make sure to bring back some sicilian pizza and a hot-dog. (no ketchup w/ sport peppers of course) 🙂
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Mmm thanks for the tip. And yes, first flight in my 20’s – more on that Tuesday. 😉
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Office Oddities sent me to your great site and will be back to learn more!
Chris
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Thanks so much for stopping by, Chris! 🙂
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Perfect fodder for Lollipop Tues; looking forward to that one as well!
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