Run, Jackie, Run.

15 Dec

I’ve actually begun to kind of look forward to running.

I can’t believe I just wrote that.  But there it is.  Just, you know, sitting there.  

For those of you who don’t have a feeding tube inserted from my blog to your brain, 1) button’s on the right and 2) let’s debrief.  I started this program called Couch to 5K in an attempt to truly test the psychology that has (so far) successfully propelled me through posting each and every day in 2011.  The idea is that I take the same no-excuses attitude, publicize it so people hold me accountable, and try to tackle the thing I hate most in the entire world: running.

One of the things that drew me to Couch to 5K is that it advises you not to do any more than it calls for, even if you think you can.  Since it’s built for couch potatoes, it doesn’t want you to get burned out and quit.   But earlier this week, I was sincerely pondering breaking the rules.  I just wanted to feel good about the fact that I ran that day.  I wasn’t in the mood to run, per se… I just wanted to be proud of myself and imagine my kangaroo pouch shrinking while I was huffing and puffing.

I’m using it for some serious storage.

Perhaps some psychoevaluation is in order.  It appears to be a classic case of Stockholm Syndrome.  With no choice but to continue on in the program I’ve so widely publicized and rooted in an activity I so deeply despise, I’ve begun to accept my position as captive and am starting to empathize with my captor.

Never, ever, in my life did I think this would be true.  Of course, I’ve only almost finished week three of a nine-week program.  Next week I could be cursing and devising new and exciting ways to break my foot so I can cop out.  But what if I just keep…liking it? What if I turn into some kind of crazy running beast that can’t be stopped?

Well, the asthma will get me eventually.  But after near-death and a puff of that inhaler: BEAST.

I’m on to something here.  I’m going to unlock and entire world of psychoanalysis discovery.  I can hear the news anchors now: “Postadayer turned marathon runner? How this awkward hermit girl became the Forrest Gump of our time.”  I’ll write memoirs and I’ll get shoe endorsements and I’ll take the world by storm.

But first: week four. 

12 Responses to “Run, Jackie, Run.”

  1. Ready, set, congratulaitons.


  2. pegoleg at 10:06 am #

    Good for you! As long as you don’t turn into that annoying ex-couchie who lectures everyone on how much BETTER they’d feel if they just got moving and turned into a Forrest Gump-channelling, shoe-endorsing gazelle.


    • Jackie at 2:02 pm #

      oh man, that would be awesome. wouldn’t it be great if I was so fit and happy that my biggest problem was trying to stop myself from telling other people how fit and happy I am? 🙂 But yeah, trust me… even if I do eventually get there I’m going to have a “don’t speak unless spoken to” rule.


  3. JWo at 10:38 am #

    I spent all of 2010 running toward the goal of a half marathon in December which I finished.

    I’ve spent all of 2011 not running toward any goals except the promise of starting again in 2012 because the world’s sposed to end and I’m gonna need to be able to run away from stuff, right?

    But I do miss the feelings I got from running, not the cramps, aches and pains, but the relaxing of being away from a computer, unwinding from the stress of the day, getting lost in my playlist, etc.


    • Jackie at 2:00 pm #

      LOL @world ending in 2012. I had an awful day at work Wednesday and while it was hard to run just because it’s really challenging for me, it was nice to be gasping for breath and telling myself that my calves weren’t going to explode than sitting around thinking about how angry my boss makes me 🙂


  4. Tara at 12:42 pm #

    I have done couch to 5k multiple times in my life (usually after having a baby) and can completely understand what you’re saying. I can promise you, it only gets better. It’s amazing to see yourself progress from having a hard time running 60 sec intervals to running 5, 8, and 10 min intervals. And then finally you can run 30 min straight! Every time I’ve done it, I have slowly built my self confidence along with it. My suggestion, if you haven’t already, is to sign up for a 5k race in the spring. Running and finishing a 5k somehow makes it official that you’ve actually accomplished your task, and you should get some sort of metal to prove it. Good luck. Your inspiring me for after this baby.


    • Jackie at 1:59 pm #

      I’m on week 4 and having a rough time with the 5 minute thing. I’m doing it, but it’s not pretty. But you’re totally right – the first week, 60 seconds killed me. So I need to focus on the progress. If I make it to the end, I would LOVE to celebrate with an official 5K. Right now, my only goal is to make it through week 5 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement and for sharing. IF you can have a baby and do it, I should be able to, right?


  5. pinklea at 10:24 pm #

    I hate running, too. Except that I’m starting to do it more at my gym. And I’m liking it more, to my great surprise. So I’ve been thinking that I might take it outside when the weather cooperates more. But then, what if I really liked that? Then I’d want to run outdoors every day, then for longer periods of time. Then when would I commune with the intarnets? It’s a real dilemma …


    • Jackie at 1:55 pm #

      Right?! Thanks for putting this dilemma into words – it’s truly difficult to keep hating running when it keeps trying to grow on me.


  6. thesinglecell at 8:55 pm #

    Stockholm is my favorite of all the syndromes. Go Jackie!


    • Jackie at 1:42 pm #

      LOL it might wear off sometime next week – it’s getting to be seriously rough.


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