Tonight I fired up my laptop to be greeted by 7 distinct, loud beeps. Beeps of certain death. Beeps of destruction. Beeps of inescapable doom.
It has passed on.
Well technically it may not have passed on. Using my handy
dandy phone, from which I’m currently posting (thanks WordPress wizards!), I discovered that when the screen is unable to display its beauty to you, your computer will communicate error codes through sound and lights. You will then have to use another computer to decode this alien language and attempt repairs. Seven beeps on my beloved laptop means processor failure. Supposedly, I may be able to replace this. Supposedly.
If I can sell my body enough times to pay for it.
Apparently my computer doesn’t care that I have all the notes for the show I’m currently directing on it. It doesn’t care that I owe people things this week. It doesn’t care that I’m just a poor, lone blogger in need of a full size screen and a real physical keyboard to get me through my life and musings.
It’s an asshole.
So I’m in a bit of a pickle. I’m afraid I may have brought this on myself. Perhaps I spoke too loudly this evening about how I couldn’t think of anything to write. Yes – perhaps my laptop does really care and in fact loves me so much that it has given the greatest form of sacrifice: its life.
No but seriously: this is a problem. I’m doing things. Important things. Even if I lost my files but still had a computer I could at least recover after long hours of labor. But we don’t have another computer. Dave’s laptop went the way of the dodo long ago and we don’t keep a desktop in the house because of my addiction.
For those of you unfamiliar, I am a reformed World of Warcraft addict. I relapsed once and thereafter procured a laptop that is incapable of supporting the game so that if I ever relapsed again I would have to justify the purchase of an entirely new computer. So far, this method has kept me clean. It’s been a long while since I’ve sat in my Mr. Bubble pajama pants, 5 days unshowered, gnawing on leftover pizza that I kept under my bed so I wouldn’t have to go downstairs to the refrigerator.
But being that I am unable to continue with my life as it currently stands without procuring a new processor or a new computer, I am in serious danger of relapse. After all, once I start selling my body for here money to replace it and I’ve been fired from all my gigs for failure to meet deadlines and all my job opportunities go out the window because I’m unable to properly respond, I will have nothing in my life worth looking forward to except trekking through the world of Azeroth again. And I’ll have all that dirty money from prostitution to help me procure a new desktop to go back there.
There, people respect me. I accomplish things. My life doesn’t ever come to a screaming vault because an inanimate object fails to perform its innate duties. My character and inventory and life is all waiting there for me just as I left it. Glorious and untouched.
So this could be it, folks. This is the end of my productivity, my slight bit of a checking account, and life as I know it. I am dead to the world. Should I awaken, it may be in the World of Warcraft.
Peace be with you all. It’s been a swell run.*
The Jackie Blog 
If I win this weeks Powerball, I will set you up with a life time supply of computers all programmed only for you to keep blogging. No games will be allowed. Stay strong, my heart is with you.
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I think this should be true for every week’s Powerball 😉 Thanks!!
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How much for an hour?
Trololol
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oh man. maybe I can’t really do this 😛
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Don’t do it Jackie!!!!!!!
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Tara, you’re one of the only people who didn’t try to enable me.
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My husband was into WOW and it is enemy number one in our house!
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I’d ask you what level, race, class, and server but I don’t want you to hurt me.
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Don’t sell it. Rent it.
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am I mistaken, or are you referring to my vagina?
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Now that I think about it, yes, Sorry about that.
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🙂
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just think of all the material you would have if you had to go into prostitution…got to look at the bright side. 😉
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you’re so right – I could change the entire direction of my blog! and get a slew of new subscribers!
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Well without money to buy a desktop computer, I think that the WoW addiction will not resurface. Plus we’ll miss you! 😦
Maybe try looking for used computer parts, like from people who upgraded their computer’s parts but didn’t actually break their processor? Might be something worth looking into that could get you back up and blogging without spending too much money.
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Thanks, Samantha! I’m back up and running and about to be selling off some of my own parts soon 🙂
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WoW be danged…. Guild Wars 2 is out on the 28th – no monthly subscription, just the box fee – and its one of those never-look-back-at-previous-MMOs games. (egads I’m such an enabler 😛 )
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you really are. you should be ashamed of yourself for keeping me up at night with beautiful thoughts of guild wars.
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Computer problems stink worse than last week’s chicken bones. Sending cyber-techno-healing vibes your way.
Bye bye, Miss American Pie.
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it worked! Peg vibes work!
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Computers are assholes!! My wifi adapter went kaput a few weeks ago, and WordPress mobile refuses to cooperate with my phone. I have to wake up at odd hours of the night and “borrow” hubby’s computer to get my interweb fix. lol. Good luck finding something afordable, and non WoW related… 🙂
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thanks, Hale! good luck solving your series of unfortunate events as well.
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You need to quickly make friends with somebody who runs a little hole-in-the-wall computer repair shop. If you’re REALLY charming, they might be able to put a new motherboard in for cheap, or sell you a refurbished laptop for inexpensive. Selling your charm and flattery doesn’t run all that risk of STDs, just the basic soul damage of knowing you’re manipulating people.
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luckily, I’m good to my techie brother, who brought today’s post to you.
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Oops, it just occurred to me…
Your processor didn’t perhaps fail due to overheating?
You have been blowing out the cooling system once in a while? See what little I know about keeping one’s digital life straight here: http://kitchenmudge.wordpress.com/2012/04/13/not-a-techie/
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haha I love it – thanks, Mudge!
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Beg, borrow, finance a new laptop! Please don’t throw your life away. Even a cheap iPad will substitute for a laptop. I’ve done it because my filthy expensive MacBook Pro has turned into a paperweight. And after my 7 yr. twin granddaughters usurped the iPad, my iPhone has become my computer. Easiest of all, if I live w/o files. New iPad coming as I hear a smaller cheaper one is in the works. And yes, files.
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wait, wait, wait. you can’t fight off a couple of 7-year-olds? 😉
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