I’m trying to convince Dave to let me have a bunny.
A small, white, fluffy one named Pog.
He has some concerns, naturally. First and foremost that this is one of a series of campaigns I’ve started on behalf of new and interesting apartment creatures. For some reason I feel that I can avoid my obvious fate as a cat lady by instead acquiring a taste for a strange parades of animals. I can.
So along came the Pog campaign, right on the heels of a teacup pig campaign and not all that far from my request for a manageably sized puppy. They’ve been denied, all.
Second on his list of concerns is the idea of Pog getting put in the washing machine. Apparently, Dave thinks that my would-be-Pog-bunny-bundle-of-adorableness would snuggle himself right up in the crook of a hoodie or the soft nesting of a pillow, and that in my bumbling hurry, I would toss out the Pog with the pillows. It would be a watery, warbly, truly tragic passing.
Also, all those clothes would all need to be washed again.
Third on his list of concerns is that I plan to capture this bunny in the wild, so as to not encourage breeding of an animal that already overbreeds itself. Thus, my acquisition of Pog would require me to sever him from his bunny habitat and thus rip him from the paws of his loving friends and family. To this I argue that life is nothing but pain and separation and that by never knowing love, Pog can never know the lack of love.
I might also just surround him with stuffed animals. I had a lot of bunny stuffed animals when I was young and I think I could do a great recreation of Pog’s natural habitat.
Fourth, final, and most damning of his arguments is that he would end up taking care of the bunny after I got tired of it. I don’t know how I could possibly get tired of a bunny. I can’t even imagine that a bunny needs a whole lot of attention, really. What can they possibly do for fun?
Have tea parties with the bunny stuffed animals, that’s what.
Maybe I can try a new tactic with Dave. Perhaps I can lay out a solid business plan on PowerPoint that involves our apartment being made into a petting zoo. We’re surrounded by lots of students, who I’m sure could use some pet destressing around midterms and finals. And unlike cat cafes in China, or groups of puppies brought in to schools, my destress petting zoo will feature a wide variety of creatures and folks can pick what they pet.
See? There’s money in your passion if only you pave the path for it….and can convince Dave.
Guess I need to get started on that PowerPoint. ♣