The Great Bunny Acquisition

1 Feb

Pog, running from me.

I’m trying to convince Dave to let me have a bunny.

A small, white, fluffy one named Pog.

He has some concerns, naturally.  First and foremost that this is one of a series of campaigns I’ve started on behalf of new and interesting apartment creatures.  For some reason I feel that I can avoid my obvious fate as a cat lady by instead acquiring a taste for a strange parades of animals.  I can.

So along came the Pog campaign, right on the heels of a teacup pig campaign and not all that far from my request for a manageably sized puppy.  They’ve been denied, all.

Second on his list of concerns is the idea of Pog getting put in the washing machine.  Apparently, Dave thinks that my would-be-Pog-bunny-bundle-of-adorableness would snuggle himself right up in the crook of a hoodie or the soft nesting of a pillow, and that in my bumbling hurry, I would toss out the Pog with the pillows.  It would be a watery, warbly, truly tragic passing.

Also, all those clothes would all need to be washed again.

Third on his list of concerns is that I plan to capture this bunny in the wild, so as to not encourage breeding of an animal that already overbreeds itself.  Thus, my acquisition of Pog would require me to sever him from his bunny habitat and thus rip him from the paws of his loving friends and family.  To this I argue that life is nothing but pain and separation and that by never knowing love, Pog can never know the lack of love.

I might also just surround him with stuffed animals.  I had a lot of bunny stuffed animals when I was young and I think I could do a great recreation of Pog’s natural habitat.

Fourth, final, and most damning of his arguments is that he would end up taking care of the bunny after I got tired of it.  I don’t know how I could possibly get tired of a bunny.  I can’t even imagine that a bunny needs a whole lot of attention, really. What can they possibly do for fun?  

Have tea parties with the bunny stuffed animals, that’s what.

Maybe I can try a new tactic with Dave.  Perhaps I can lay out a solid business plan on PowerPoint that involves our apartment being made into a petting zoo.  We’re surrounded by lots of students, who I’m sure could use some pet destressing around midterms and finals.  And unlike cat cafes in China, or groups of puppies brought in to schools, my destress petting zoo will feature a wide variety of creatures and folks can pick what they pet.

See? There’s money in your passion if only you pave the path for it….and can convince Dave.  

 Guess I need to get started on that PowerPoint. 

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15 Responses to “The Great Bunny Acquisition”

  1. Sarah T. February 1, 2012 at 9:47 am #

    First of all, bunnies are awesome pets.

    Secondly, if you don’t want to “encourage breeding of an animal that already overbreeds itself” a lot of animal shelters take in bunnies. This is probably safer than trying to catch a wild one. You can pitch it to Dave as saving a life. How can he say no to that?!

    If you come to the burg this weekend, I will do what I can to help you acquire a bunny by bombarding Dave of pictures and cute stories of ours. (Sadly, CJ is no longer with us, otherwise I would bring him and make Dave fall in love with his fluffiness.)

    But seriously, buns are similar to cats. They can be litter trained, they sometimes like to be pet, they don’t need to be walked… Although the current cats could cause a problem, but we’ll just overlook that for now 😉

    • Jackie February 8, 2012 at 12:07 am #

      Whoa. Whoa. Whoa.

      Bunnies can be litter trained? They don’t just poop like crazy all over a cage?

      *adds this to the PowerPoint*

  2. pegoleg February 1, 2012 at 10:20 am #

    Tell Dave that, in addition to all the love and joy of a pet, when the apocolypse comes you’d already have the fixins for rabbit stew.

    • Jackie February 8, 2012 at 12:06 am #

      Which would keep us full for all of 4 hours. Then I can be buried in a t-shirt that says “I survived the first 4 hours of the Apocalypse”

  3. Paul February 1, 2012 at 11:18 am #

    Right, I have a few ideas for your power point presentation, stick with me we’re gonna get you that bunny.

    Ok now you may disagree with this and it my sound a bit dodgy but start off by walking into the room in a sexy bunny outfit of your choice, for which there are many…. A smoke machine could be a very good addition, with strobe lighting.

    Then parade pictures of sad homeless looking puppies, and then use the power of interpretive dance to depict the loss and pain of these furry creatures. Out of the blue display a picture of your fella and say that the bunnies futures are in doubt unless some strapping young fellow comes along to save the day.

    If this works then please send payment to PO Box… nah this ones for free.

    Woofs

    • Paul February 1, 2012 at 11:20 am #

      I said puppies I meant bunnies sorry, puppies on the mind, good luck.

    • Jackie February 8, 2012 at 12:05 am #

      I don’t know that once I come out in a sexy bunny outfit, anything else will be paid attention to.

      Mostly due to his uncontrollable laughter.

      But very thorough plan – and when desperation calls, I may have to give it a go 😉

  4. Emily May February 1, 2012 at 12:04 pm #

    Rabbits can be a lot of work, but the cuteness makes up for it! I have an amazingly cute bunny called Hazel who I can show to Dave, for him to melt and give in to your demands. And as a rabbit lover, I am saying that if you want your bunny to live more than a few days, do not get a wild one. Get one from shelters, another bonus for Dave.

    Also, I do believe the sexy bunny outfit beforementioned would certainly help. 😉

    • Jackie February 8, 2012 at 12:01 am #

      Why did it never occur to me that rabbits could be gotten from shelters? I think in terms of kittens and puppies I suppose.

  5. Jules February 1, 2012 at 1:01 pm #

    Rabbits. yum yum

    JUST KIDDING

    I had rabbits once. Did-not-eat-him.
    Had a whole kaboodle when I was in elementary, then another one in my high school days. I still remember him humping stuffed animals. Horny little guy.

    • Jackie February 8, 2012 at 12:00 am #

      A kaboodle of rabbits sounds overwhelming.

      I’m curious as to what sort of stuffed animals your rabbit was sexually attracted to. Popples? I would go for the Popples.

  6. Lori February 1, 2012 at 2:33 pm #

    I had a roommate who had a bunny as a pet. It was pretty cute and as you said, didn’t do too much. One thing it did do for fun was to push a big bouncy ball around the apartment. It was pretty cute, it’d hop, putting its front paws on the front of the ball to make it move, then hop down, hop after it, hop up…and over and over again.

    I hate to say it…but its wasn’t nearly as fun as watching a cat chase a pen light.

    • Jackie February 7, 2012 at 11:54 pm #

      This sounds adorable. Also, I need a new pen light. Thanks for the reminder.

  7. name February 8, 2012 at 12:57 pm #

    it’s been a week! where’s the updates?! new posts?! :-p

    • Jackie February 8, 2012 at 1:03 pm #

      I only post once a week now on Wednesdays. Before the end of the day, there will be a post.

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