Caution: Old Age Ahead

28 Nov

There are two times in the year that I am forced to reconcile with my own shortcomings and/or revel in my accomplishments.  The first is my birthday.  It falls in July so it’s a good middle-of-the-year human performance assessment.  The second is the New Year.  Right now.

When I woke up yesterday and realized December is about to punch us all in the face with its jolly, blustery fist, I realized I have one month to right whatever is still wrong from last year’s complaints.  I believe I’ve taken care of everything on the list except “get a passport”, which is crucial to next year’s inevitable goal: “go somewhere”.  In general, it’s a good system for helping me reflect on both my goals and my mistakes so that when I get hit by a truck one day, I have a minimal amount of reflection to do before my soul leaves my body.

It’s just good sense to plan ahead.

Of course, on occasion these little sessions don’t go as hoped and instead of reflecting on improvements for the oncoming year, I focus on how incredibly old I am.

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know; statistically speaking, it’s likely that you’re older than me.  I mean I’m old for myself but I’m not old if we consider actual old people.  But even if you’re older than me, you have to admit that there is something that happens to you in your 20’s in which you transition from being young and fun and not responsible for anything to being not young, no fun, and so much responsibility that you wonder if you could just get hospitalized for a little bit to help get you out of a few things.

Except student loans.  No one can stop the student loans.

So the other day I was all wrapped up in my old-ness partially because I’m in reflection mode with January approaching and partly because Dave pointed out that the people playing moms in the Kraft macaroni and cheese commercials are our age now.  And he’s right: they are.  

That’s a painful realization, my friends.  

And that’s the humiliation of growing up I suppose – how it creeps up on you.  The way that it just slowly invades all your sacred space until one day you wake up and you’re upset that so many young kids are moving in and making a ruckus in your apartment complex or that you actually really like Raisin Bran or that you can’t go join a hippie commune any time you want now because you have bills, man.

Perhaps I should add “come to terms with own age” to my list of to-dos for 2013.   Hey, at least if I fail I can hop a flight to another country and ignore everything with my newly acquired passport.

How about you all? How are your resolutions and reflections faring with only one month to go?  

Feel free to tell me that you also enjoy Raisin Bran. It would help me, you know, deal. 


34 Responses to “Caution: Old Age Ahead”

  1. bridefied November 28, 2012 at 10:14 pm #

    Totally unnerving to realize it’s our turn to be grown-ups. I’m slowly but surely forcing myself to be patient and follow cooking directions, as opposed to mixing a bunch of stuff together and hoping it tastes good. Now that’s responsibility. Also, I enjoy the occasional bowl of Raisin Bran.


    • Jackie November 29, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

      ugh, I know. I’ve developed a sort of cleaning system for my apartment because I can’t just throw everything everywhere and feel fulfilled anymore. I hate it. I hate it all.


  2. addercatter November 28, 2012 at 11:56 pm #

    Raisin Bran is quite enjoyable 🙂 I’m 33, which is old to me, but for what it’s worth, I liked Raisin Bran when I was 21…


    • Jackie November 29, 2012 at 2:48 pm #

      you were an old soul, apparently 😉


    • addercatter December 3, 2012 at 11:47 pm #

      I have been told that so many times by so many people it’s scary! Lol


  3. eviejordan November 29, 2012 at 4:38 am #

    When I got hospitalized (no…don’t send a card, I’m fine now) what freaked me out (apart from the whole being hospitalized bit) was how young the doctors were. Now I was either in some kind of joke Doogie Howser style hospital or I’m getting old. The fact I remember Doogie Howser strongly suggests the latter.


    • Jackie November 29, 2012 at 2:45 pm #

      *sends card anyway* Ack, I haven’t thought about that either. But I definitely looked at a kid in the parking lot the other day and thought there was no way he was old enough to be driving. Ugh.


      • eviejordan November 29, 2012 at 5:22 pm #

        Did he steal your car? If so he probably wasn’t an official parking attendant!


  4. DK November 29, 2012 at 8:04 am #

    I went to the Madonna concert when she stopped in Minneapolis last month (I was a last minute fill-in for a friend’s husband, so thankfully I didn’t need to pay a dime). I kept whining that she was going on sooo late, and that I was too old to stay out so late and get up the next morning for work. Then my friend told me to shut my pie hole because Madonna is way older than me. And dancing around on stage. While singing. Whatever…

    Incidentally, “…I woke up yesterday and realized December is about to punch us all in the face with its jolly, blustery fist…” is my new favorite sentence and I want to use it all the time.


    • Jackie November 29, 2012 at 2:43 pm #

      This is the best one I think. I love the Madonna bit. Man, this makes me want to send out a public survey for the best moment you knew you were old. People are hilarious.


      • DK November 29, 2012 at 10:27 pm #

        What’s funny to me is that there are days when I still feel like a child. I just started a new job this week, for instance, and it makes me feel like a little kid playing dress up. And other times (I’ll be honest, mostly focused around getting sleep) that I feel like I have one foot in the grave.


        • Jackie December 6, 2012 at 11:57 pm #

          I love/hate that about new jobs. In the beginning it’s a lot like you’re just pretending. It takes me a solid month before I feel like I own the gig.


        • Jackie December 6, 2012 at 11:57 pm #

          Also, get some sleep. 🙂


  5. knotrune November 29, 2012 at 8:37 am #

    Eeek, I’m afraid to check! I can’t remember what my resolutions were and I probably failed all or most of them… I seem to recall that January went really well and then it all fell apart in February and never got back on track…


    • Jackie November 29, 2012 at 2:42 pm #

      ahaha weeeell it was a decent start I guess.


  6. wordsweneversaid November 29, 2012 at 8:40 am #

    Ummm…sorry – I am 42 and I hate Raisin Bran. (the flakes get soggy way too soon and the raisins are all like on steroids or something – no raisin is that sweet and soft after going through what they must have to in order to become a ‘Post Raisin’ – just sayin’)

    I have a daughter who is turning 23 this year and I STILL slightly resent the wee carpet crawlers my neighbors are introducing into my sound zone.

    I ‘could’ actually be a Gramma at this age and LOVE to play with the little ones but now I find that the reason it is so darn fun is that – when you are done playing? They go home.

    Nice to see a post Jackie – great as always.

    Be well,


    • Jackie November 29, 2012 at 2:42 pm #

      I don’t care if they’re on steroids or not: God bless those who can make raisins tasty. Oh wow, I usually think of old folk getting upset at young kids, but you’re upset about young *babies*! I got the entire thing wrong. Re: grandbabies, I loooove being an aunt for that very reason.

      Thanks for stopping in again 🙂


  7. Lori November 29, 2012 at 10:32 am #

    Hmm, Raisin Bran I can take or leave. But what I really like is oatmeal. And not the flavored stuff that comes in neat little packages, but the stuff you have to actually cook on the stove and comes in bulk. Yes I’m 37 going on 67. 😀 Don’t worry there are advantages to getting old. You can start saying things like “When I was young..” and “I remember when..” or “Hooligans!” (while shaking your fist, a personal favorite).


    • Jackie November 29, 2012 at 2:40 pm #

      Hooligans is a recent favorite for sure! Hmm, oatmeal. I might give that another try too. 😉


  8. athensboy November 29, 2012 at 12:25 pm #

    Don’t worry about it. I’m 66 (a young 66) and I don’t even remember being your age. My wife and I have a theory that the adult brain, i.e. maturity, is not fully formed until age 28. Until then you can still screw around, screw up, or whatever you want, cause you can’t help it anyway. Relax, kid.


    • Jackie November 29, 2012 at 2:38 pm #

      ahaha “you don’t even remember being my age”. Hey: thanks for the free ticket to screw ups for the next year and a half!


  9. Jules November 29, 2012 at 12:38 pm #

    Honey Bunches of Oats reporting in. You got nothing on this!

    Also, old age is largely state of mind. Once you start believing you’re old, then it’s all down hill from there.


    • Jackie November 29, 2012 at 2:36 pm #

      I should give the Oats another try. It’s been a while since I’ve gone near them. And you’re right re: age. You know, I recently was talking to Dave’s uncle who just celebrated a birthday and though he has many years under his belt he seems so young. I asked him how and he said he always tries to do at least one big new thing every year. This year? He flew a plane.

      Definitely a state of mind. Let’s hope the Lollipop Tuesdays pull me through 😉


  10. lys810 November 29, 2012 at 3:42 pm #

    Raisin Bran has been my favorite since I was four years old…I mean that stuff is right up there with Froot Loops.

    And I’m pretty sure they both contains copious amounts of crack.


    • Jackie December 7, 2012 at 12:00 am #

      Well, I like Raisin Bran but I must admit I would never put it on the same level as all the food I ACTUALLY love but can’t have because that’s all I would eat. Once I get going, I just don’t stop. It’s a slippery slope.. Froot Loops, Cocoa Pebbles, Frosted Flakes, Ice Cream, Pizza, Swedish Fish, Powdered Donuts…

      I don’t know why some of those came out capitalized. I suppose I just have that much respect for them.


  11. Samantha November 29, 2012 at 4:27 pm #

    Raisin Bran was definitely my favorite at one point. At least, before I decided I didn’t much like cereal at all. :/ But I ate it a lot in my years working at summer camp and a little in college. But I also like oatmeal. 🙂


    • Jackie December 6, 2012 at 11:58 pm #

      Oatmeal is also old. Perhaps older. Good, very well done.


  12. jobuzor November 29, 2012 at 11:32 pm #

    Please know that I too enjoy raisin bran. But even worse…I like cream of wheat…


    • Jackie December 6, 2012 at 11:56 pm #

      Whooooooa cream of wheat. You got real old on me there. Then again I should probably try it. The way things are going, I might like it.


  13. Ernesto Vazquez-Belen November 30, 2012 at 6:52 pm #

    I’ve loved Raisin Bran since I was a kid.

    Now I’m 32. I’ve come back to once again. Raisin Nut Bran. I suppose points on the aging timeline can be marked by the change in the kind of Raisin Bran we like.

    Child: Kellog’s Raisin Bran, with chocolate milk.

    Teenager, Early 20s: Rasin Bran Crunch

    Today: Raisin Nutbran

    Tomorrow: Well, I’ll be decomposing, so I suppose I’ll transition to BECOMING Raisin Bran for micro organisms.

    The circle completes.


    • Jackie December 6, 2012 at 11:56 pm #

      ooooh raisin bran with chocolate milk? I must admit that your love of Raisin Nut Bran makes my regular Raisin Bran seem, well, more youthful 😛

      That being said, I think we’re onto something here.


  14. ML December 3, 2012 at 4:20 pm #

    ❤ 🙂 I like Raisin Bran. And I also wish those damn hippies would get off my lawn. It's OK, Jackie. It happens to all of us. I just try to keep open-minded about the music the kids are listening to these days so I don't only ever listen to The Specials and the Gin Blossoms for the rest of eternity.

    Although I wouldn't be doing all that badly if that were the case.


    • Jackie December 6, 2012 at 11:55 pm #

      Ah – good tip to be open minded about current music. When I switch from NPR I don’t recognize anything so I get scared and turn it off. Perhaps not the best tactic.


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