A Good Night for a Drunk Run

17 Apr

I shouldn’t really say I update on Wednesdays if I’m not going to get off my rear and post before midnight, right?

I was off my rear, though. I’ve been off my ass since 7 this morning; I just wasn’t typing. Typing has, however, been the only thing I’m doing every other day of the week, all the time, always. I have had so many papers due for school in the last few days that I’m not sure there are any more thoughts in my brain.

For those of you just recently joining the jackie show, it would be helpful for you to know that I am currently enrolled in a dual masters program while also employed to pay the ba-dillios.

Those are bills. Ba-dillios are bills.

So anyway, I’ve been a little busy. But good busy. I’m happy busy. I’m just also out of things to say that are worth saying. Sometimes I stare at the screen for an hour and nothing gets written. Last week, I wrote a paper 3 different times because the first two attempts were a total fail.

I am not failing, however, at my 365. We’re rolling up to the 1/3 mark for my fitness 365, wherein I resolved to do something active for at least 20 minutes a day and have since conquered two Jillian Michaels DVDs and almost finished training for a 5K. No, I’m rocking that party hard. Allow me to regale you with a glimpse of Jackie Present (that is to say the current Jackie who is motivated and no-excuses and trapped by her own very public announcement to not fail or make excuses.)

It was yesterday. I woke at 7am to try to finish a research paper due that night, I went to work, I came home, I tried to finish the research paper again, I went to class late and turned it in, went back home to start a research paper due the next day (idiot) and instead decided to go celebrate my hard work by attending Dave’s open mic.

There, I had a few drinks in the fashion and manner typical of a classy lady. And just when I had almost freed my cares from thoughts of finals and writing and taxing schedules, I realized: I hadn’t run yet.

It was 2am.

You see, I specifically set up my 5K training program (wherein I transform from human Cheez-It disposal to competent jogger in several weeks) so that my final day of training is the day of the race and the first official time I actually run 5 english semi-miles. That means that if I skip a day, I am seriously in danger of being unable to achieve my goal. And if I fail to achieve the 5k, I seriously endanger my ability to finish the 10K in September, thereby bringing my 365 to a dramatic and successful semi-conclusion to ride the home stretch into the end of the year.

It’s an elaborate and volatile plan and my sudden decision to enjoy a few classy lady drinks was putting it in danger. So I ordered several coffees like a champ, left the bar at 3:30am, and went home to put on my running gear.

And proceeded to run. Semi-sobered and exhausted, I launched my flailing limbs across the great pavement plains of my neighborhood. Also, I brought Dave. He’s the best.

I came home, thoroughly pleased with myself and thoroughly exhausted at the realization that I had been up for nearly 24 hours, fell asleep in a pile of sweet satisfaction, and fell asleep until the next afternoon.

When I woke, I celebrated with chocolate. And hot dogs. It was a slippery slope; I’m now cuddled up in bed with an empty plate of pizza to my right and staring at the bottom of a bag of chocolates I’ve just obliterated.

A girl’s entitled to a little visit to Fat Jackie’s Paradise as a proper celebration, isn’t she? Maybe not. But I’m doing it anyways. Leave me alone.

So listen: to all the ducklings attempting The Gauntlet 30 Day Challenge right now, you’re about halfway through. If there hasn’t been a day like this already, there soon will be: you’re going to have a day when your schedule spirals out of control and before you know it, you’re holed up in some bar somewhere, drinking in celebration of your dedication only to find you’ve failed to remember to do your 30 Day Challenge activity.

And when that happens, you’re going to have to suck it up and go drunk running at 4am. Or work to better your small business. Or read a new book. Or cook a challenging meal. Or apply to a job. Or whatever it is you crazy kids are doing out there.

Oh, and congratulations. You’re halfway to being filled to the brim with awesome sauce.

Puppies and Sprinkles,

Jackie ♣

Oh. I couldn’t find a picture appropriate for this so instead here’s a picture of a human feeling up a cat. Warning: Not suitable for work.



20 Responses to “A Good Night for a Drunk Run”

  1. donofalltrades April 17, 2013 at 11:59 pm #

    Love your exuberance, even though I hate that Jillian Michaels! I did run 3.5 miles the other day solely because of your blog. Thanks for that!


    • Jackie April 19, 2013 at 3:42 pm #

      And this whole time I thought I was only inspiring people to overeat and adopt cats.


  2. Katherine Gordy Levine April 18, 2013 at 12:52 am #

    At 76 I look for\slow walks\-a-thons. But good for you guys.


    • Jackie April 19, 2013 at 3:41 pm #

      At 76 the fact that you look for anything with “thon” in it is amazing. Grats πŸ™‚


  3. pfstare April 18, 2013 at 6:05 am #

    Jackie you are hilarious. Even marathon runners skip a run sometimes. I bow to your determination though πŸ˜€


    • Jackie April 19, 2013 at 3:40 pm #

      Skipping takes all the fun out of things πŸ™‚


  4. LisaR @ Who Stole My Baby? April 18, 2013 at 9:45 am #

    I went to yoga yesterday when I didn’t really want to. Of course, there were no obstacles, previous commitments, sickness or anything else to make it difficult, I just didn’t want to go, and I did. It was okay.


    • Jackie April 19, 2013 at 3:40 pm #

      Not wanting to is an obstacle. It’s the biggest obstacle. πŸ™‚ you rock


  5. VivBlogs April 18, 2013 at 9:49 am #

    You go, Jackie! After my second child I set a 10K as my fitness goal. It totally worked.


    • Jackie April 19, 2013 at 3:40 pm #

      It makes a huge difference to have a reason to be running instead of just running to lose weight. People have said this to me for a while but I only just now realized it.


  6. Samantha April 18, 2013 at 12:07 pm #

    Hahaha, yes I have totally hit one of these days. Went to my parents’ for the weekend to celebrate my mom’s birthday, and the second night I was there I had not gone to bed the night before until 1:30 a.m., then got up at 7:00 a.m. to get supplies to make her breakfast, then walked around a giant outdoor mall, and then was ready to pass out on the couch around 9:30 p.m. My dad and boyfriend were like, “You can’t fall asleep on the couch,” and shooed me off to bed, in which I did a half-assed tree pose and some a.m. yoga moves and passed out before I could think about it. Still on the truck, though. Hanging on by a few fingers. I’ll climb back on though. πŸ˜›


  7. Samantha April 18, 2013 at 12:08 pm #

    But either way, I am proud of you for going running at 3:00 a.m. in a semi-sober state. That’s dedication right there.


    • Jackie April 19, 2013 at 3:39 pm #

      well thank you πŸ™‚ And hey – sometimes you’ll just do a half-assed tree pose but that’s still better than nothing. Grats on making it this far πŸ™‚


  8. Jules April 18, 2013 at 4:02 pm #

    Hahaha, you’re nuts. Even I skip runs when life gets in the way. As long as you aren’t skipping training week in and week out, you should be fine.

    I would be more concerned about pizza and chocolate binges.


    • Jackie April 19, 2013 at 3:38 pm #

      Jules, I’m doing a 365. If I skip a day, it ruins the whole point.

      And maybe I’ll do a no-binge 365 someday but this is not the day πŸ˜‰


  9. noone April 19, 2013 at 3:21 pm #

    but a 5k is only 3.10 miles not 5 English miles… keep running!


    • Jackie April 19, 2013 at 3:37 pm #

      kilometer = English mile. I take a few American liberties here. That is, I put everything in terms of us. πŸ˜‰


  10. whiskeytangofoxtrot4 April 26, 2013 at 11:12 pm #

    I totally like your style.Running drunk has its benefits. You are numb so there is no pain, especially if you wipe out . Trust me, been there. :0))


    • Jackie May 1, 2013 at 12:16 pm #

      Now I understand how people run long distances.


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