Goalsmack Month

3 Jul

Guys, it’s an important time of year.

I’m not talking about the birth of our great and glorious beer-drinking reality-television-watching nation or even the birth of myself (occurring the week thereafter but unrelated to beer or reality television) or Christmas in July. I’m talking about the halfway point to New Year’s Resolutions.

If you’ve been paying attention, you’ll know that the beginning of this month marks the halfway point for my Fat Ass 365 Project, wherein I vowed to do something health-related and workout-y for 365 days in a row, culminating in a 10K at the end of the year. Back in spring I participated in a 5K to keep myself on track and accountable and thererin concluded that I would rather die a slow and painful death in private than to be forced to do it publicly by running a long distance race..

Unfortunately, I’ve already committed online, in person, over the phone, and in print- I’ve locked myself in via every communication channel possible. I even have an accountability buddy. That is, a buddy who will come the day of the race to knock on my door and drag me to the starting line. This, of course, is all part of a well-constructed plan by pre-5-K Jackie, who believed she could do whatever she put her mind to and didn’t want to put up with wussy Future Jackie’s sissy whining. She set up safeguards and guarantees to ensure that Future Jackie couldn’t wiggle her way out of anything. Post-5-K Jackie, however, has the good sense to acknowledge how incredibly difficult it was to simply jog three miles straight and isn’t “sissy whining” so much as she’s “certain she will die”. 

But it’s too late. I’m locked in.

Death impending or not, I’m halfway to the reckoning. A little closer, actually, since the 10K is late fall. That means that in two weeks I officially start my training schedule. It’s not official, really. It’s just a piece of paper I tore out of a magazine that promised me lots of things. 

So I’m staring down the barrel of my New Year’s Resolution. So far everything is on track. I’m still working out, I’ve cut down my complaining to occasional, and when I think about running a 10K I still puke a little fear into my mouth. How you doin?homer

Many of you are in the midst of grand undertakings as well. Some of you got started bright and early in the year and some of you just hopped on board recently. You can start a 365 any time, so if this paragraph has you feeling left out, feel free to jump in any day now. If you’re nervous about doing the whole thing, you can always start a 30 Day Challenge. The mention of either is enough to get me all hot and bothered.

While you’re all assessing progress, charting future plans, and/or scolding yourself for negligence, I’ll be paying extra attention to Jillian Michaels  and logging more miles on my bike in the hopes that I can lower my risk of Death-by-10K. Maybe if I kick it up a notch these two weeks before training, I’ll thank myself later. 


But first I must celebrate the glory that is Old Glory. I plan to do so with two toddlers, a baby, and a kiddie pool. I made cookies. It’s going to be excellent. 

Happy Almost Independence Day/My Birthday/Christmas in July/Goalsmack Month. And don’t forget – it’s never too late to join the crazy. 


12 Responses to “Goalsmack Month”

  1. Jules July 3, 2013 at 6:35 pm #

    Death by 10K. I had a good chuckle there.


    • Jackie July 10, 2013 at 10:00 pm #

      It’s only funny until I die, Jules.


  2. momma July 3, 2013 at 8:34 pm #

    can’t wait to share those toddlers and baby with you as well. What fun it will be.


  3. ginjuh July 3, 2013 at 9:39 pm #

    I feel workout-y-er for having read this.


    • Jackie July 10, 2013 at 9:55 pm #

      Well that’s the goal. 😉 Maybe instead of working out today, I can just read it.


  4. pegoleg July 4, 2013 at 1:07 am #

    WOW< with so much to celebrate this month, I'm going to trash all my resolutionss with too much cake and champagne.. Good for you for sticking with it, Jackie.


    • Jackie July 10, 2013 at 9:54 pm #

      Cake and champagne is an excellent idea, actually. But I don’t know if I can fit it in with my current diet of buttered toast and ice cream.


  5. Ice_Badger July 4, 2013 at 4:09 am #

    a 30 day challenge…dammit…why didn’t I think of that 😉 no, I am loving my crazy 365…even though it is only day 13…

    you will rock the 10k, actually you will run the 10k but really well, oh you know what I mean 🙂

    enjoy the celebrations, and the crazy!


    • Jackie July 10, 2013 at 9:53 pm #

      While I’d like to say I agree, it will probably be less rocking and more… trotting and crying. 😉

      You’re ROCKING your 365. Seriously. Cheerleader outfit on.


  6. binvested July 9, 2013 at 6:36 pm #

    Very witty!!! Being a weekend warrior, I understand that early morning decision…at least you have backup. Good luck and happy birthday.


    • Jackie July 10, 2013 at 9:49 pm #

      Weekend Warrior is an excellent term. Hey, no matter how bad it gets I can just tell myself it will be over in a few months. 🙂 Thanks for the luck and birthday love.


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