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Who Snatched the WordPress Wizards?

I apologize for the WordPress.com-themed post today, as I recognize (and love) that a lot of my subscribers and readers are not, in fact, WordPress.com users and may not have any idea what I’m talking about. But good news! I write every day. And there are 364 posts that will be featured here for 2011 that can tickle your non-Wordpress.com user fancies. Because today, I have a pressing matter to address:

Who snatched the WordPress wizards?

Has anyone else noticed things are a little…strange around here lately? I don’t know about you, but I’ve got an absurd number of hits from WordPress.com these past two days and try as I might I can’t find my blog featured anywhere in particular. Typically it tells me what tag it’s from or which blog, but now it’s just straight-feeding general stats. I certainly don’t mind, but it’s a little confusing when paired with my next area of concern:

Why hasn’t Freshly Pressed changed? Even if it updates later this morning, it still went the entire weekend and three weekdays without changing over. I know there’s only a handful of WordPress wizards to go around, and no offense to the currently featured folks who are no doubt enjoying the consistent slew of hits and comments. My issue isn’t that they’re still up… it’s that I fear something has happened to the wizards.

Has it?

I saw a couple new themes roll out, so someone must be updating Twitter. And The Daily Post is still alive and kicking. But… but what about everyone else? Are the crazy number of new WordPress hits linked to the lack of Freshly Pressed

Have you seen the WordPress Wizards? Don't be freaked out by the dead eyes. They're good people.

rollover?

What is this madness!?

I tried to Google these issues last night to see if anyone else was concerned, but I only found a few tweets in the sidebar of this blog mentioning the same things I was experiencing (Hi Deborah. Thank you for your shared concern for the wizards). If we go the whole week with these anomalies, I might start a search party. Possible tomfoolery regarding the WordPress Wizards includes but is not limited to:

They were stolen and replaced by hackers who failed to realize that in order to maintain the facade of normalcy, they must continue to rotate Freshly Pressed features
They got golden tickets to the Wonka factory and are working to craft the most amazing insider testimonial blog post ever
They have been eaten by the exotic animals running amok in Ohio

Or maybe they quit. But that seems silly. Who would quit such a glamorous job? No one, that’s who.

I’m not sure how to start an Internet search party. But I know how to cause a ruckus. And maybe once I navigate a how-to, I can publish a book on Internet Search Parties, wherein I am the grand know-it-all. I can go to forums and teach classes and be all superior about my Internet Search Party knowledge and talk about how it all started because the WordPress Wizards went MIA.

Who’s in? ♣