I’ve been abandoned.
Dave, in search of a simpler and more noble life in the trees, has finally gotten in the car and now pushes westward in search of the animal within.
Actually, he just went to Ohio to hang out with an old friend. And until he decides to return, the entire apartment is under my sole command.
Before he left, I requested a last-minute stop at the grocery store for cat food and milk. By the time I made it to the exit, I had acquired Moose Tracks ice cream, a frozen pizza, and box of Kraft Deluxe Mac and Cheese. When Dave questioned my actions, I simply replied that I was going to be home alone.
It was in this moment that he realized for the very first time the role he plays in my life.
I admit entirely that if left to my own devices, I would someday be discovered beneath a pile of dirty clothes and pizza boxes, sleeping in a cave I have made for myself and my cats adorned with strange prayer beads and craft paint. Sadly, it would only be my family who comes looking. And sadly, they would not be surprised.
Hopefully, Dave won’t be gone long enough for this to evolve.
My first agenda item is definitely a fort. But not one of those little pathetic forts under a table you make when you’re a kid. I want an adult fort. I want a fort that says I pay my own bills and have my own apartment and I can string up sheets and hang lights and take over the entire living space for my own ridiculous agenda any time I want.
This could be the end of me. I’ll go from not socializing to not even going into the apartment hallway to get my mail. I have absolutely no good reason to leave my adult fort. Especially when I have enough pizza, ice cream, and macaroni and cheese to keep me alive for at least a week.
Sometimes I wonder if my lifestyle is acceptable. And also, I thank the Lord Almighty that I don’t have kids because I’m sure they wouldn’t let me build this fort the way I want to.
If I don’t post tomorrow, please send someone in after me. ♣