My New Pet Mouse

3 Feb
Meet Moe.

Yesterday, I shamefully broke my boycott of Starbucks and was rewarded with a mouse.

An adorable mouse.  An I’ll-pick-you-up-and-take-you-home-and-love-you-forever mouse.

I did not, however, pick it up, take it home, and love it forever.  

After a rather challenging day, I decided that I was going to take a lunch, thank you very much.  …And have phones forwarded to my cell… And on the way out the door of Starbucks, I was greeted by the mouse of topic.   Let’s call him Moe.

It’s hard to explain in words how I could have seen a mouse on my way out that was  not outside and yet not inside Starbucks.  There’s sort of a door-within-a-door situation and so I’ve decided to draw an amateur map for your amusement and ridicule.

I appear to be almost as large as the fireplace.  This is not to scale.

So you can see now that I exited the first door and was on my way to open the second door when Moe came into my life.  I attempted to persuade him to come with me.  I was convinced that he would be a great addition to my life in the corporate jungle.  I could keep him in my drawer with my cereal bars.

I’ll bet Moe likes cereal bars.

I tried to shoo him out, as opposed to in (for when in, surely he would die) but he was afronted by the cold, windy air of the city and refused to move.   And I really couldn’t blame him.

So with broken heart in hand (and not mouse), I exited the door and embarked on the woeful journey back to work.  I accidentally took the long way back because all I could do was I was think of the Moe Man.

Here’s to you, Moe Man.  I could have had a wonderful life with you at the office.  But this is for the best, as our relationship could have never gone beyond an office affair.    I could have never taken you home to Dave because he constantly worries about me just bringing things home I find on the street.   It’s a frequent problem.

And besides: suffering from obesity or not, my cats would put a whoopin’ on you.

Make yourself a home in the awkward space between two doors.   I’d advise you to avoid the pastries; they look better than they taste.  But most importantly of all,

Live Long and Prosper.

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4 Responses to “My New Pet Mouse”

  1. pegoleg February 3, 2011 at 10:10 am #

    In the interest of full disclosure, I must point out my post last weekn wherein I revealed that I am the world’s greatest amateur mouse-hunter. Hope we can still be friends.

    Like

    • Jackie February 3, 2011 at 7:12 pm #

      Well, as entertaining as that post is, it’s heartbreaking to imagine a mouse freezing to death – you should probably come up with a better method. But you already got crap for that in the comments and I totally understand not wanting to kill it.

      I still do think they’re adorable, though. Rats – no. Mice – totally.

      Unless there’s more than 2. More than 2 is an infestation and infestations give me the heebie jeebies.

      Like

  2. jaredblakedicroce February 4, 2011 at 11:39 am #

    It’s refreshing not to simply hear the customary, “I jumped up on a table and shrieked at the top of my lungs”, reaction, which, i have to sheepishly admit, is precisely what i was expecting here. Mice, mouses, meeses and the lot are adorable, harmless, and in particular – Moe sounds just darling.
    But don’t go back to Starbucks, that place is not adorable in the least, and is most harmful (to the wallet).
    Or so i’ve heard 🙂

    Like

    • Jackie February 5, 2011 at 10:56 am #

      Hey Jared – thanks for stopping by! No worries about your immediate assumption – I expect the same of chicks myself. I must admit that there are a few creepy crawlies that I have trouble with, but mice are just so darn adorable that I don’t understand the scare. And thanks for the encouragement with my Starbucks boycott. It’s a bad choice all around 😉

      Like

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