How the Oscars Lost Their Class

28 Feb

Host Fail.

It used to be that we could always count on the Oscars to scrounge up a little class from the muck and mire of Hollywood.

Not this year.

My apologies to Anne Hathaway.  It must be incredibly difficult to be so classically beautiful but to be hankered down by your own goofiness.  Listen, I understand it’s a difficult job to host the Oscars, and I get that it’s probably the most nervewracking stage moment in someone’s life.  But stand up straight, smile pretty, and try your darndest to not let your inner 5-year-old grace the stage.   And above all, do not refer to your nudity in a picture with any degree of lightheartedness.   It’s like getting on a microphone at an incredibly classy party and saying, “hey! remember that time I was naked?! HA! I WAS NAKED!!”

And James Franco?   Why?  Why was he the choice?  I know film doesn’t require the same vocal attention as theater, but for the love of Oscar, why can’t you attempt a little pitch variation, dynamics play, or even just some basic articulation?   Make an attempt at the feigning of charisma.  Please.

Nominees, I’m sure it’s incredibly difficult to stand let alone speak when accepting a speech.  But hold it together.  We’ll stick with you through nerves, line flubs, and even a bit of confusion.  But I don’t see much of an excuse being made for dropping the f-bomb in an acceptance speech.  Melissa Leo had the beginnings of a classic acceptance speech for the reel.  But about halfway through, it turned trashy and suddenly her elegant white, overly sparkly high-collar gown looked very, very cheap.

I’m disappointed.   I feel like the Oscars have failed me.

There were moments of loveliness, don’t get me wrong.  Kevin Spacey is almost enough to redeem the entire lot.   If anyone is paying attention, he will be the host next year.  They would be silly to overlook him.  Always charming and gentlemanly, a master of impressions, and a brilliant actor – what’s the problem?

So thank you to Nicole Kidman, Cate Blanchett, Hugh Jackman, Oprah, Reese Witherspoon and the like for your constant display of grace and class and your ability to articulate in front of a very intimidating audience.   Hopefully the next generation will start taking notes.

I mean… did you see it?! Anne Hathaway made her dress dance.

*Facepalm* 

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7 Responses to “How the Oscars Lost Their Class”

  1. Megan February 28, 2011 at 9:18 am #

    Yeah it was so bad…but it usually is. I was pretty happy with the winners this year though. No Avatar craptastic films.

    Like

    • Jackie March 1, 2011 at 9:38 pm #

      that’s true – there would have had to have been some pretty epic surprises for me to be disappointed.

      Like

  2. Zenalicious Mommy February 28, 2011 at 9:39 am #

    Couldn’t agree more! It was certainly cringe-worthy throughout the event and of course I had to blog about it this morning too..lol!

    Like

  3. pegoleg February 28, 2011 at 9:44 am #

    Seems most stars misread the Oscar instructions – thought it said “crass”.

    Like

    • Jackie March 1, 2011 at 9:39 pm #

      I almost can’t believe they made a “Winter’s Bone” joke. Seriously?!

      Like

  4. Abigail February 28, 2011 at 11:49 am #

    …annnnnnnd you make me very thankful I don’t spend/waste money on cable currently….

    …if blogs could win awards, yours would undoubtedly win “Most Profoundly Satirical”…

    Like

    • Jackie March 1, 2011 at 9:39 pm #

      I’ll take it. Woohoo! My first award!

      Like

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