Getting Hot Sucks

1 Apr

It’s update time.

Remember way back when I tried P90X for my Lollipop Tuesday?  It was a painful but sweet nectar and I actually toyed with the idea of trying it out.  Like, for realsies.

Last night I decided to take the plunge.

I have a problem with getting myself jacked up enough to want to kick my miserable fat ass for an hour and a half, so Dave and I struck a deal: we’re doing P90X together.  Every day he’ll do it early in the day and I’ll do it later, gathering my motivation from the fear of being heckled by him for having skipped out.

We’d do it in the same room at the same time but I refuse to work out in front of him because I don’t like the idea of him seeing all my fat pudding rolling around while I exercise.

So yesterday afternoon Dave did the 90 minute chest and back workout and then the 15 minute ab ripper X workout.  Which means that last night, I was expected to do the same.   Not even two hours later, I got a phone call and actually noticed the muscles I use to hold the phone.

I couldn’t believe I worked out so hard it was taxing to talk on the phone.  For a moment I actually considered explaining the situation to the other party and hanging up but then I realized how freaking pathetic that would make me.

So I carried on, feeling like a quivering pile of wuss.

Why does trying to get hot have to suck so much?  I mean I get that you have to work hard to look good, but why does it have to be so miserable?!   I’m not sure I’ve ever had a workout I’ve truly enjoyed.  I played volleyball back in the day and loved it, but I don’t really count sports played for pleasure.   I’m talking straight-up working out: lifting weights, running, miseries of all kinds.  I don’t think I’ve ever, ever enjoyed that process.

When I meet people that run for pleasure, I am utterly baffled.

They’ve got to be lying.  The whole lot of them.  They might like being hot – that’s a gimme.  But they totally don’t like running.  The act of it – the pounding of the pavement, the loud cries from their bodies to please stop the madness – I don’t buy that anyone enjoys that.

You know what I enjoy? Eating.  I really enjoy eating.  I can get through the most terrible day with the right foods.  Eating something when you’re truly in the mood for it is one of the absolute best things in the world.

Is that the difference between beautiful people and normal people? Maybe beautiful people love to run as much as I love to eat cheesecake.  Maybe they really do like it.

If that’s the case, I definitely got the short end of the stick.  

Cameron Diaz - without a single shred of evidence that she's ever eaten something delicious. Yowza. (Photo by Simon Emmett for go.com)

Pressure seems to work for me.  So you know what? I’m going to give a little P90X update in these little gray areas every day.  I’ll publicly display whether or not I was a fat turd or a lean, mean sex machine.   Yeah, I’ll stress myself into getting hot.  It’ll be awesome.

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26 Responses to “Getting Hot Sucks”

  1. Ro April 1, 2011 at 9:43 am #

    Two things…
    1. I am reminded of the quote from Back to the Future III- “Run for fun? What the hell kind of fun is that?” My life motto.
    B. “Common looking people are the best in the world: that is the reason the Lord makes so many of them.” -Abraham Lincoln. And who’s to fight with Abraham Lincoln?

    Like

    • Jackie April 2, 2011 at 12:53 pm #

      1. why do you comment in numbered lists?
      2. I always welcome any cult classic or geek movie references.
      3. Abe had to say that – he’s one of the most historically unattractive people ever.

      Like

  2. egills April 1, 2011 at 9:47 am #

    When I could be bothered I’d go to the gym and run on one of those step machines… that’s about it. I’ve bought similar things but they got used once and filed under the bed so I decided it was better to stop.
    I walk… 10 min to train, 15 min to office.. work all day then the return journey. In my mind that’s enough surely?

    Like

    • Jackie April 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm #

      I think the best thing to do is to build it into your lifestyle, like you’ve done. In the spring and summer I ride bike back and forth to work and there’s no need to do anything else or take extra time – the exercise is part of my every day routine already. Kudos to you for building it in 🙂

      Like

  3. Don't Make That Face April 1, 2011 at 10:35 am #

    Getting hot does suck…so I’ve heard. I mean, I was born hot and have never had to work at it, but I feel really sorry for people who do.
    Obviously, I’m being an a-hole. I hate working out:
    http://dontmakethatface.com/2011/02/01/what-the-f-are-you-so-happy-about/

    Like

    • Jackie April 2, 2011 at 12:54 pm #

      love the comment, love the post. Thanks for the link 🙂

      Like

  4. KristenSays April 1, 2011 at 12:29 pm #

    First of all, I don’t know where you got that picture of me, but thanks so much for putting it on your blog! ;P

    Secondly, I hear ya. I can’t stand working out. And the funny thing is I used to love to run when I was younger. Yes, I was one of those people. Don’t know what happened along the way, but I completely lost my steam. Hence, batwings and saddlebags are two of my best friends now. Sad. But I did finally get sick enough of them to start a workout regimen of my own, about 2 weeks ago.

    All of this to say, You Can Do It!

    Use Dave as your motivation, and I’ll use you as mine. No pressure. 😉

    Like

    • Jackie April 2, 2011 at 12:55 pm #

      What happened is you grew up and realized running SUCKS. 😀 That’s a lot of pressure, actually. But I seem to work well under it. I’ll be so happy with myself if I actually complete this P90X business.

      Like

  5. Renee Mason April 1, 2011 at 1:10 pm #

    Approximately every 6-8 weeks I get all fired up & decide that whatever program or gadget is on the current infomercial is THE key to the Garden of Eden. I have drawers and closets full of this crap, collecting dust. They do cause me to move, though. Everytime I pick up and dial the phone to order. Tried the P90X twice and I thought I would die on the spot. Good luck Jackie!!

    Like

    • Jackie April 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm #

      Try it! Do it with me – I need HELP. 🙂

      Like

  6. lexy3587 April 1, 2011 at 1:27 pm #

    I like spin classes. they leave you feeling dead, but also like you accomplished something. especially the ones where the instructor says things like “we’re goign to bike up hill now!”. and i think, wow… i’m on a hill… they will be able to put “died on an epic imaginary hill” on my tomb-stone.
    however, in the whole exercising thing, classes in general are best, because someone is there to order you around. or maybe that’s just how I work best 😛

    Like

    • Jackie April 2, 2011 at 12:59 pm #

      lol thanks for sharing – I love the tombstone note. 🙂

      Like

  7. Lori April 1, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

    I have a friend who says, “I run when chased.” Amen sister.

    Like

    • Jackie April 2, 2011 at 1:00 pm #

      double like.

      Like

  8. Jules April 1, 2011 at 5:02 pm #

    Hi Jackie,

    I’ve been reading your blog recently just because I love the way you write.

    I am one of those runners by the way. (still a huge computer geek, just not as sickly and weak) It does SUCK to begin with, but that’s how it is for most physical activities. It sucks until your body gets used to the stimuli and that’s the magic of getting fit….well that and the food thing of course.

    Seriously, if you want input from my point of view, don’t hesitate.

    Like

    • Jackie April 2, 2011 at 1:03 pm #

      By all means – please indulge me on what the fun of it is, because the only reason I’m doing this is because I’ve committed to it and I don’t want to wuss out. It has absolutely nothing to do with joy.

      Thanks for the awesome compliment, p.s. – I’m so flattered that you’ve been dropping in.

      Like

      • Jules April 4, 2011 at 2:56 pm #

        (Okay… I took a step back and thought about the best way I could explain this to a non-runner. Please tell me if this makes sense.)

        First off, I want to commend you for gathering the courage to get fit. The process will teach you to deal with pain, soreness, and just generally feeling like crap. You’ll learn that the human body is an amazing organism, capable of ungodly amounts of punishment. In my belief, this is the core principle of getting fit. Subject your body to something new, and over time, it will adapt to handle the load. The KEY is to introduce this sloooowly and graduuuaaally. Otherwise, you’ll grow to hate and dread every moment of working out.

        Remember that your body didn’t turn into a mass of pudding over weeks/months. It is probably the result of prior years of inactivity. Establishing your new fitness habits will be step two. You’ve already started the process; that was step one.

        Like

        • Jackie April 6, 2011 at 4:34 pm #

          This did not at all address my question of why you find it fun to run.

          Like

  9. Jules April 1, 2011 at 7:50 pm #

    Also…this looks shopped. I can tell from some of the pixels and from seeing quite a few shops in my time.

    Sorry. Couldn’t help it.

    Like

    • Jackie April 2, 2011 at 1:04 pm #

      Maybe it is – most hottie mchottie photos are. But it doesn’t detract from the fact that she looks KILLER. 🙂

      Like

  10. amandajeannesnow April 1, 2011 at 8:43 pm #

    Hahaha AMEN.

    Getting hot TOTALLY sucks. Keyword ‘getting.’ Not like, ‘being.’

    I’m definitely a workout junkie but also a huge part of me hates it. HATES it.

    And jeez C Diaz! I’ll have what she’s having.

    Like

    • Jackie April 2, 2011 at 1:02 pm #

      I hate it so much. SO much. Can I force myself to like it through habit? Because I’d seriously like to not hate my body anymore. Re: C Diaz – I know. Ridiculous.

      Like

  11. robin waller April 2, 2011 at 12:48 am #

    I am proud of you! Starting, then getting through the first 2 weeks has always been my problem. If you can make it past the 2 week point, I promise it will get easier. I remember a time when I didn’t feel right unless I worked out. But then again, It was a hundred years ago, I worked in a gym and it was easy to make time!! Making time for you is the most important and hardest part. I am going to use you as my motivation too!! NO pressure! If you can stick with it I can at least try right?? Then I can feel like a shmuck if I quit…it will be awesome!!

    Like

    • Jackie April 2, 2011 at 12:56 pm #

      Deal. I’m 3 days into P90X and 87 to go. :O!!

      Like

  12. someone_who_does_not_understand_food_obsessions March 5, 2012 at 2:14 am #

    most people’s problem is all they do to cope with daily stress is eating. this is ridiculous, to say that you only enjoy eating – of course you will never be fit, if you don’t look for pleasures outside. you don’t need to run for 2 miles every morning to be fit, you don’t even need to do gym or sports. you need to walk, you need to breathe fresh air, you need to enjoy yourself in some other way than simply by eating delicious foods. yes, it is enjoyable, but a lot of times people do what is called emotional eating just because they cannot find anything better to do with their free time that will make them confident, relaxed and happy. find a hobby, or a new passion, keep yourself busy outside of home. this is a lifestyle problem for almost everybody in this country – me, personally, i am foreign and i see many problems with the way people live here. they simply, honestly have too much money and too much food around themselves, there is nothing they do for fun but go to restaurants, go to bakeries, go to fast food places – seriously? that’s pathetic – don’t fall into it.

    Like

    • Jackie March 17, 2012 at 3:59 pm #

      Hey, I agree. And I understand that it probably seems ridiculous if you weren’t raised to have food be the answer to everything and parents who can’t afford to buy real food so they have to raise you on junk food. And just for the record, this post is a bit outdated – I’ve since cleaned up my lifestyle quite well 😉

      Thanks for stopping by and giving me a piece of your mind – I appreciate it 🙂

      Like

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