The Thing About Baking Cookies Is

27 Apr

File:Raw cookie dough in cookie clumps.jpg

When I die, I’m fairly certain it will be from salmonellosis.  And soon.

I have personally ingested more raw cookie dough in my 25 years than all the children you know combined.   My mother constantly yelled at me when I was little for getting into it.  In my defense, my mother owned a cake business and it’s ridiculous to let your child help and not expect them to lick every leftover bowl.

It was the fun part.

The awesome thing is that I’m all grown up now and I can have raw cookie dough whenever I want it.  I’ve been known to bake entire batches of brownies, and cookies, – even an entire cake – simply to eat the batter and dough.    Don’t get me wrong – it’s not bad when it comes out of the oven, but I really prefer it prior.

The problem seems to be that I’ve slowly changed my method from cleaning the well-scraped bowl to blatantly picking up entire gobs of it at a time.  I made an enormous container of chocolate chip cookies last night and managed to eat 5 baked cookies and close to their equal weight in raw cookie dough.

And it was delicious.

I think the only way to stop myself is to stop baking altogether.  There’s no resisting the powerful call of sugary, raw beauty.  Quite frankly, I suck at resistance.  But I really don’t want to stop because I just love baking so darn much.  Making cookies is one of the most therapeutic activities I can possible conjure.  All the ingredients are simple and delicious, the recipe is easy, you can mix it with your hands, and everyone loves them.  Baking cookies tends to all my major needs.  Just one batch of cookies provides a myriad of benefits:

  • satisfies my craving for chocolate
  • makes me feel like I’m doing something productive
  • gives me something to show Dave I lurve him
  • have a backup gift or host’s gift ready at all times
  • gives me a reason to listen to rock out to music between batches
  • provides a killer arm workout by hand mixing cold sticks of butter
  • improves my sense of time lapse by not setting a timer and trying to “feel” when they are done
  • is a great chance to eat a startling amount of cookie dough

How can I possible resist making them when there are so many positive outcomes?

So if I don’t post tomorrow morning, it’s safe to assume I’ve been hospitalized for symptoms of salmonellosis.  I’ll update as soon as I can convince the nurse I have a successful blog to maintain.  

It might be a while. ♣

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15 Responses to “The Thing About Baking Cookies Is”

  1. Lian April 27, 2011 at 9:19 am #

    I love baking! And I also love the dough 🙂 I tend to be like you and eat more of the dough than I actually should. I always try to convince myself that the salmonellosis thing isn’t gonna happen to me 😉

    Maybe we should start a group you know. “Hi, I’m Lian and I’m a cookie dough addict” 🙂

    Like

    • Jackie April 27, 2011 at 5:43 pm #

      People are really a fan of this group, Lian. I’m in.

      Like

  2. Lori April 27, 2011 at 9:34 am #

    Did you know that there’s actually no salmonella IN raw eggs? It’s on the shell. So all you have to do is dip the egg into a bowl of water with a drop of bleach in it before you crack it open. Salmonella = not an issue.

    Like

    • Jackie April 27, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

      whaaaat?? I need articles.

      Like

  3. Ashleigh April 27, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    Sounds like you need to try chocolate chip cookie dough dip! I found a great recipe at http://www.howsweeteats.com/2010/12/chocolate-chip-cookie-dough-dip/ It could not be easier to make and there are no raw egs. It has changed my life 🙂 The blog suggests eating it with animal crackers but my friends and I prefer pretzels (the mini twists pick up the most dip). It’s also great with fruit. Enjoy!

    Like

    • Jackie April 27, 2011 at 5:42 pm #

      I’m actually incredibly embarrassed to say I StumbledUpon that not long ago and it’s filed under my favorites. LOL

      Like

  4. pegoleg April 27, 2011 at 10:19 am #

    My go-to cookie comfort food is No Bakes. Have you had these? You make them on the stove w/cocoa, add oatmeal. Stressed? No Bakes. Need chocolate? No Bakes. Bored, hungry, sad…No Bakes. I have been single-handedly keeping the Quaker Oats guy smiling for 30 years.

    Maybe it’s time to get help. Can I still be in Lian’s support group if it’s not dough?

    Like

    • Jackie April 27, 2011 at 5:41 pm #

      I used to hate them when I was growing up but I haven’t revisited them since. Perhaps I shall. In fact, the Quaker man stares at me from within my glass pantry door.

      If we let non-doughers in, we’ll have to draw the line somewhere. We could come up with a mission statement. Something or other about overcoming foods that incur cyclic guilt.

      Like

      • pegoleg April 27, 2011 at 6:14 pm #

        That would be a HUGE group. Just about every woman on the planet, at least at “that time of the month”.

        Like

  5. lexy3587 April 27, 2011 at 10:40 am #

    The dough is the best part… My sister makes cookies more often than me, and just about chases me around the kitchen while trying to protect her dough long enough to get it into the oven. My favourite is ginger snap cookie dough. Yummm…
    Then again, I will also eat the leftover bits of pie crust unbaked, bits of bread dough, and pretty much any baked good prior to its time in the oven. Haven’t died yet 🙂

    Like

    • Jackie April 27, 2011 at 5:38 pm #

      how excellent 🙂 So Lori thinks there’s no danger – which completely eradicated all guilt. Full force ahead on the dough front, my friends.

      Like

  6. Jules April 27, 2011 at 11:34 am #

    I guess it’s a better choice than ingesting playdoh.

    Are you still working out? 😦

    Like

    • Jackie April 27, 2011 at 5:37 pm #

      3 times a week. I hope to do better, but when I think about the fact that I was completely sedentary a few weeks ago, that’s pretty cool.

      Like

  7. KristenSays April 27, 2011 at 1:36 pm #

    OK wait, i’ve got something for you. Hubs & I used to buy the pillsbury rolls of cookie dough, grab 2 spoons & eat the whole roll while watching the worst horror movies ever. pathetic and gross, i know.

    “Hi, my name is Kristen, and I’m a raw-cookie-dough-eating horror-movie-watching freak show.”

    Like

    • Jackie April 27, 2011 at 5:36 pm #

      LOL Thank you sooooo much for telling me this. Because after Jules’s sad face, I was feeling pretty down.

      Like

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