Today could be my last day alive.
At 9:00 am, my blog will be updated with this post. And at 9:05am, I will be boarding a flying machine that will quickly transport me through time and to Chicago, Illinois.
I am wrought with fear.
There are so many things I don’t know. Airports seem so complicated – what with all the scanning and checking and lining up. I’ve spent the last 4 years sending my bosses on airplanes all over the world and have completed itineraries for them chock full of details on what to do, where, and when. But alas, this is my first flight and I personally don’t know a damn thing about it all.
Most of what I know about flying comes from stand-up comedy. Isn’t that sad? It’s totally sad. Just say it. I didn’t even realize until today at Rite Aid just how darn convenient travel sizes really are.
Perhaps the most pathetic moment was when a director in my department at work reenacted a play-by-play for where I would go in the airport and the things that would happen to me in each phase. She literally walked through it in her office, going on about gates and boarding passes and things. She logged on the computer, put in my name, and printed my boarding pass. She ran through every single detail she could and took note of each step.
And that’s when I realized that that’s what it’s like to have an assistant.
Suddenly, the roles were reversed. All I had to do was tell her where I was going and she looked up the flight, printed my info, and directed me on the next steps. It was freaking awesome. I can’t even imagine how incredibly cool it must be to tell someone what I want to do in life and to have them figure it out and break it down for me in terms I can understand without humiliation in learning it because it’s that person’s job and I pay them to do it.
That’s pretty mindblowing.
I have literally logged on to Google Maps and converted it to Street View so that I can walk on the sidewalk exactly where my boss is walking at that moment to tell her exactly where to go. Can you imagine having someone do that for you?! I wouldn’t ever have to worry about how something happens – I could just go out and have new experiences and pay someone to research them and explain what to expect to me in small, childlike terms. I COULD DO ANYTHING.
I love this. This may be what I’ve always wanted my entire life.
I will make it so. ♣