This is actually a grasshopper. But let's face it, they're basically the same thing. Right? Right. Photo by ABremner/"scoobygirl" - Click the image to view their photostream.
This week, I celebrated Lollipop Tuesday by eating a cricket. Sour cream and onion, to be exact. Grossed out? So am I. Don’t want to read on? I don’t blame you. Don’t know what Lollipop Tuesday is? Check out the top of the page to calm that burning sensation in your cerebrum.
As it turns out, I need quite a bit of convincing to chomp down on the thoracic exterior of a once-live, now-sour-cream-‘n’-onion cricket. It took me nearly half an hour to throw it down the hatch. Here are some of the reasonings my mind attempted during the excruciating limbo:
“I’m sure lots of people in other cultures eat bugs. Yeah. I’m sure I’ve seen it on a travel channel or something. Lots of other countries have people who see this just like I see a banana. A banana with legs and eyes and antenna. …No. no that’s not working.
Maybe there’s something on the box that will help me. Like a breakdown of how darn healthy this is for me. *gets box* Actually, it appears there’s only a diagram of the cricket. Outlining all its bits and pieces.
Okay, look. This is easy. It’s 9:00pm, and I don’t have anything new for Lollipop Tuesday. Nothing. And it’s too late to go out and try to do something tonight so it’s cricket or bust. Cricket or bust. Cricket or bust. Just do it. Do it and blog it. Bam. Wham Bam Bam-o.
No, I can’t. EEEEeeeewww look at it. Look at iiiiiit. Its little leg is poking out from the rest of it. EW.
All right, JESUS! I SHOULD EAT THEM BECAUSE OF JESUS. SAINT JOHN THE BAPTIST IS SAID TO HAVE LIVED ON LOCUSTS AND HONEY IN THE DESERT. I CAN BE LIKE JOHN.
FOR JESUS!!
No, I’m sorry, this is disgusting. I can’t do this. I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t I can’t.
Okay here we go. I’ll turn it into a drink. A Cricket Soco Shot. Yeaaaah *goes and pours shot* Okay – new shot! Crunch up the cricket as fast as you can, and shoot the Soco.
…
…
Ew. I can’t do this. I can’t believe I’m actually going to do this. This is disgusting. All for a stinking blog. A BLOG. NO ONE’S EVEN GOING TO CARE.
All right, forget it. Just forget it. I’m just going to set an egg timer and when it goes off, I eat it. Like Scattegories. Okay. *Tick tick tick …..*
…
….
Okay this is unbearable. 5-4-3-2-1!”
And that’s when I did it. I popped the cricket in my mouth, where I quickly crunched down on it and kicked it to the back right corner of my mouth. My tongue in a frenzy to work to somehow chew it without tasting it, I was frozen in terror and got it lodged between my lip and teeth. Mortified, my tongue scraped at my teeth, trying to work it to the back of my throat where my esophagus could take over and I could be released from my peril.
Finally, it dislodged and I washed it back with a shot of Southern Comfort and disgust. I quickly reached for my enormous glass of orange juice, which I stashed for such a crisis. I guzzled the entire cup down in a blink and ran to the bathroom to rinse what I was sure were little cricket bits out from my mouth.
Haggard, I walked into the living room, where Dave made a remark about the irony of my egg timer being a ladybug. And then something or other about the cricket being in my throat and wanting to crawl back up.
Today, I’m walking around with a lump in my throat, mulling over the atrocity that I swallowed the evening prior. I imagine it swimming in my bowels, I imagine it running through the course of my digestive system, all the while a beady, black-eyed, cricket.
Which, by the way, doesn’t taste as much like sour cream and onion as it does regret. ♠
The Jackie Blog 
I… cannot… describe the range of contortions that my face went through while reading this.
But you did it! So… good for you! 😀
And omg that is disgusting. You descried it way too well. I now need to cleanse something… even if I just go wash my hands. Eeeeeeeeee!
LikeLike
haha scrub and scrub but it will never go away. 🙂
LikeLike
Ewwwwwwwwwww!!!! Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww! I totally would’ve thrown up afterwards. I can’t believe you didn’t throw up. Ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!!!! You’re a brave, brave soul.
LikeLike
LOL Ro, aren’t you one of the folks that suggested I eat something disgusting for a Lollipop Tuesday post? Yes, I believe you were. haha
LikeLike
Can I take it back?
LikeLike
Can *I* take it back?! CAN I?! NO.
LikeLike
Hey, isn’t this the summer of the 13-year locust? Think of the culinary possibilities soon to be just outside your window screens…beating on the screens…buzzing and chirping…thousands of them, relentlessly beating and chirping and remembering their dear cousin, Jiminy Cricket, who ended up in a vat of sour-cream-and-onion batter…
LikeLike
Hey, Jackie, you got Freshly Pressed, AGAIN! Whoo hoo! Looks like the insect-munching wasn’t for naught.
Congratulations, and well done!
LikeLike
Woohooooo! What a crazy train it is 🙂
LikeLike
disgusting, Peg. Thank you. 🙂
LikeLike
Uhm, that picture is a grasshopper. Might I suggest fried termites on peanut butter toast?
LikeLike
Just thinking the same thing. That aint a cricket. Probably taste the same though. Dragonflies are the worst trust me on that one
LikeLike
But grasshoppers are bigger! (more to chew! –to get stuck!)
LikeLike
groooooooooooss
LikeLike
In my defense, I did take careful note that the image is not actually of what we call a cricket. But in your favor, you’re totally right.
Ew to the dragonfly. That’s a lot of wing.
LikeLike
you’re right. definitely right. 🙂 And ew, no, you may not.
LikeLike
I’m probably showing my ignorance here, but where do you get a sour cream & onion cricket in a box?
LikeLike
Right here, my friend: http://www.hotlix.com/insect_candy/crickettes.html
LikeLike
Awesome. And it looks like they even ship to us here Australia!
LikeLike
Get them. Then come tell me about how awful they are. 😉
LikeLike
A very dedicated blogger are you!
LikeLike
I certainly try 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
LikeLike
Okay.
I can’t…
Okay.
Ew. I’ve hated crickets since one hid in my sister’s shoe and jumped out onto her when we were in the car and she was putting the shoe on. They eat paper, did you know that? Anyway, ew. I scrunched up my face and slammed my eyes shut and waved my hands in the air at the part about it getting caught between your lip and your teeth.
I just gagged typing that. The SoCo was a great call, btw.
LikeLike
LOL so glad I could make you gag. I guess. Welcome to my pain. 🙂
LikeLike
Interesting how your mind can mess things up, isn’t it? I remember when eating snails (escargot)were the rage. The snails weren’t all that great, but the butter and garlic were to die for…
LikeLike
I’m starting to think the best method was slathering it in butter and / or deep frying it. It would have been far more bearable 🙂
LikeLike
Здравейте и от мен. Поздрави за хубавата статия- отдавна не бях чел нещо хубаво по темата. Продължавайте в същия дух :))
LikeLike
Thank goodness I wasn’t eating something when I read your post!! 😀 But kudos for trying something new!
LikeLike
Yeah, I hoped the title would be a fair enough warning 🙂 Good thing you weren’t munching!
LikeLike
Great post and congratulations of Freshly Pressed. You earned it!
(The cricket is most certaintly dead from your stomac acid by now, so I see no need to worry.) 🙂
LikeLike
Thanks a lot – for both the congrats and the note on it being dead and gone. 🙂
LikeLike
Keep chugging that Southern Comfort… that’ll drown it…lol
LikeLike
haha yessss
LikeLike
Oh and you drank So Co too, you poor thing.:)
LikeLike
the horror! 🙂
LikeLike
it’s kind of like me and snails. or “escargots”, which the chefs use it to make it sound less disgusting.
LikeLike
a snail by any other name is still as slimy.
LikeLike
You are awfully dedicated….
I could hardly stomach reading it. Next time will you enjoy eating a cricket? Our zoo sells chocolate covered ants…
LikeLike
“i’ll have a bag of chocolate ants”
LikeLike
that would have been so much better.
…maybe
LikeLike
Ew, ew, a thousand times…ew!
LikeLike
I know, I know. I know. Ew.
LikeLike
I laughed out loud when I read the part about the Southern Comfort! That’s how you wash stuff down! Yum lol 🙂
LikeLike
it was an excellent choice.
But I could have done stronger after that. 🙂
LikeLike
Man, that was gross… but you did it. Do you feel like Bear Grills? The bright side: at least you didn’t drink your own urine. Wait, I hope I didn’t give you any ideas for the next Lollypop Tuesday.
LikeLike
LOL Gross.
LikeLike
As my son would say, ‘That’s messed up!’.
Now if you lived in a third world country and were starving then chomp away at whatever keeps you going…but for a blog post and traffic??? Really?
LikeLike
Well, it wasn’t really for traffic…that just happened to be a cool by-product in this case. I was just trying to do something new to keep up with my Lollipop Tuesday bit. 🙂
LikeLike
I remember the spicy fried grasshoppers in Thailand. It was really good with cans of beer.
LikeLike
alcohol and bugs seem to be a great pair. I don’t know anything about wine pairings, but by golly after this post and these comments, I’m sure of the beer and bugs thing.
LikeLike
In some Japan’s inland regions, you will find teriyaki flavoured boiled grasshoppers. This food is served usually with steamed rice for traditional casual meals. But it is also good with rice wine;Sake.
LikeLike
ewwww lol I would definitely need the sake 😉
LikeLike
I wanted to like this more than once!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
OMFG – you did it!!!
It’s sick to say – but I am so proud of you.
If the whole point of lollipop Tuesday is pushing past boundaries – this definitely counts.
Way to go!!!!
M.L.
LikeLike
LOL M, your enthusiasm makes me beam. Thanks so much for the encouragement. If I would have had something like this to read, I could have popped that sucker right in my mouth.
…maybe. haha 🙂
LikeLike
Something for me to try before I die! Great blog!
LikeLike
Do something cooler. haha The cricket is not a bucket-list experience. Just totally gross.
LikeLike
Fantastic!
I always wondered if tarantula tastes like crab…
LikeLike
Eeeeww!
LikeLike
Ew. ew ew ew.
LikeLike
You are very brave. Well, with all the disasters and surviving the Rapture…thank you now for preparing me for the plagues, with sour cream no less.
LikeLike
Yeah if I’ve gotta get my food from the plagues, I’m going to want to spice them up with a little flavoring. 😉
LikeLike
An interesting fact: A cricket has all the nutritional value as a bite of cooked steak. Not a bad experience, considering your hesitation will be much shorter in the future…just in case of the ever looming end of the world scenario. In which case you might (probably) will be forced to eat at such extremes.
Always best to look at the bright side of things.
Great blog by the way.
LikeLike
Bright side of things? Ha! 🙂
LikeLike
I’d rather have the steak. But thank goodness for that knowledge – I’ll go straight for the crickets when we’re in zombie overtime. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
LikeLike
Sounds like good eats to me. 🙂 A bottle of New Castle would be perfect for some cricket munchin’. I just read they’re a good source of iron.
LikeLike
Jules? I’m starting to think you’re my polar opposite 😉
LikeLike
I tried a cricket before but it was covered with batter and was deep-fried; so it was crunchy! but the thought of eating an insect and chewing it’s head and fried brains and… ugh – it was sickening. but hey, congratulations (for the insect and making it on freshly pressed) loved reading your blog. keep it up!
LikeLike
oops.. i double posted. sorry about that 🙂
LikeLike
I wish mine were covered in something that made it less…cricket-y.
Thanks for reading – I appreciate you stopping by and sharing!
LikeLike
Wow – well done! But where I’m from people eat flying (and jumping) things all the time. Although it’s a taste I was never able to acquire.
LikeLike
see? That’s what I meant with the whole “people do this in other cultures” thing. But it was completely useless for me in helping to get it in my stomach 🙂
LikeLike
I think I’ll pass on delectable cricket.
LikeLike
I don’t blame you one bit 🙂
LikeLike
you are so crazy ! I really admire you can do it.but I can’t.
LikeLike
Go try something else new then! 🙂
LikeLike
ok. I will try my best!!!!come on together~~
LikeLike
okay great – before Tuesday! 🙂 You can drop on by and comment on my L Tuesday post to tell me what you did. I’m so excited to hear what you choose!
LikeLike
Not for me thanks. But good on ya!
LikeLike
I don’t blame you 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
LikeLike
What are the other six ways?
LikeLike
Every tactic I try to use to talk myself into eating it is one “way” 🙂
LikeLike
Actually there’s eight ways to eat a cricket – let someone else do it.
While I couldn’t say for sure unless I was in that circumstance, I still don’t think I could bring myself to eat bugs if there was absolutely nothing else. Visions of the movie ‘Papillion’ with Steve McQueen come to mind. Blech.
I don’t care how tasty some people say bugs are… I see no reason to eat them on purpose. And having accidentally swallowed at least one or two flies or gnats in my time, no thanks. Nasty, nasty.
On the humorous side, there is a child’s book I read long ago called ‘How To Eat Fried Worms”. Cute book. It didn’t encourage me then to eat worms and I’m not about to start now.
LikeLike
haha that would have been an excellent way to end the post (with the 8th way). Where were you when I needed that?!
LikeLike
Nice site. I have the same theme. Just curious to how to wrote text below the image???
LikeLike
If you mean the pic of the grasshopper, it’s just a matter of clicking on the image when you’re in edit mode, clicking on the little box with the picture settings, and then putting in the box labeled “Caption”. Hope this helps!
LikeLike
I am so glad your every detail was documented..whew now I don’t have to eat one!
LikeLike
LOL
LikeLike
But you might like it 😉
LikeLike
Oh god why did you have to describe it’s short lived adventure in your mouth?
That was alot of working up you did.. I never would have done it, mostly because it’d have just come back up within seconds >.>
LikeLike
To be honest, I was kind of surprised that it didn’t. Because man, was I workin’ up a good vomit just thinking about it!
LikeLike
Well, at least the cricket was dead before you ate it. Some like them a little fresher, I heard.
Cool article!
LikeLike
I think I’d die if I had to eat it live.
LikeLike
So graphic and gross! My husband was in the army and loves their survival training. He takes it to the extreme and eats bugs. It’s hard not to vomit
LikeLike
Hey, that’s awesome of him! Gross, but awesome 🙂
LikeLike
lol
LikeLike
You’re one brave girl! Way to go!
LikeLike
Thanks 😀
LikeLike
You are very brave!
My father actually hosts a Cricket Spittin’ contest every year at our local festival. People love it.
LikeLike
Oh my! It sounds… cricket-leggy.
LikeLike
Now THAT’S a Lollipop Tuesday. I’d love to see pics if they exist. 😉
LikeLike
my turtle would be proud of you! 🙂
LikeLike
sweet – I’ll make him/her my mascot.
LikeLike
Your descriptions made me squirm! Thats exactly how I would be too!
LikeLike
…and I don’t know if I could have done it.
LikeLike
YES! Mission accomplished. haha 🙂 Thanks for stopping by.
LikeLike
Tell me it wasn’t worth it to be Freshly Pressed!It was inevitable it would happen, the only question was which post it would be. Congrats, you little bug cruncher!!
LikeLike
First – awwww shucks. thanks, renee.
Second- please don’t let “bug cruncher” be like… my ‘thing’ now. Because that’s gross. Super gross.
LikeLike
oh good God! come on people, we have GOT to get this girl more lollipop tuesday ideas! she’s resorting to eating crickets! what’s next, your cats?! [OK that just grossed me out even more]
congrats on the FP’d! have another shot of SC to celebrate THAT! and to wash down that cricket leg trying to climb back up all by itself…
ew
LikeLike
Cats!
LikeLike
almost everything about this comment is gross. Thank you for sharing. haha!
LikeLike
Common to eat locusts in Chad -good way to eat yourself out of a plague -not so bad if you dont look at them.
Ray
rayharris57.wordpress.com
LikeLike
That’s me – gettin’ ready for the next plague. I shouldn’t have looked – that’s a good tip. I inspected it. Bad move.
LikeLike
Wow you did it! Good for you. Oh, and I DO care about your blog, I love it!
LikeLike
Thanks, Lian! 🙂
LikeLike
Wow, I have a huge amount of respect for you after reading this post. I’d only eat an insect if I were on I’m a Celebrity Get Me Out of Here. But I’m not a celebrity so I don’t have to worry about that anytime soon.
LikeLike
haha thanks – I kept trying to imagine how much I would SUCK at that old game show – Fear Factor. I would be out in the first round, man. I don’t want them near me, let alone in my mouth. Super, super gross.
LikeLike
EWWWWW! I can’t believe you did it?! It would take a whole lot of money and Snicker bars to get me to do that!
LikeLike
“It would take a whole lot of money and Snicker bars to get me to do that!” Yes, me, too! (But not Snickers, Twix.)
LikeLike
Money and Snickers bars would be nice. Feel free to encourage everyone to send them along 🙂
LikeLike
If you eat shrimp, crickets are a welcome improvement. A shrimp is pretty much just a cockroach in scuba gear. They eat decomposing corpses. And how is eating fruit better? You know fruit is still alive when you eat it? Oh, and BTW, its a sex organ. Eating an apple is the same as eating raw testicals. Ever have a Meat Lover’s pizza? Ask for the ingredients to the so called “meat” at some point. Your eyes are forward, you have canine teeth. You eat are made to eat dead animals. What’s the big deal?
LikeLike
The big deal is that it’s a bug and bugs are gross 🙂
I love the cockroach in scuba gear comment. And yeah, I’m sure when I think about it a lot of things I already eat are pretty nasty. But I have a particular problem with food that looks like itself. I’m sure if you ground these babies up and put them with hamburger meat, I wouldn’t blink twice. But a plain old cricket is pretty tough for me to swallow.
LikeLike