I’ve been a grumplepuss lately.
I feel like about a month ago, someone came into my soul and took my natural cheeriness. The ease with which I used to flash a smile and the light bounce I had to my feet have been switched out for a furrowed brow and forced conversation.
I remember feeling like this back in high school. Back when I had a lot of nicknames that had to do with being chaste, sharp-tongued, and weird.
There are certainly perks to sudden lack of cheer. Things are much more easily approached with logic rather than emotion. I’m one of the most emotional people I know, so if I can just stay in one gear for a while, I really get a lot done and it all makes a lot of sense.
It’s all that up and down female business that gets in the way of good, logical work.
I keep trying to shake things up a bit. Maybe I need a new city or a new gig or a new experience. Maybe I need to just do something ridiculous (mansion anyone?) or just eat less. Or not eat at all. Maybe I need to get my nails done or get a pedicure or go out for ice cream before I eat dinner just because I’m an adult and I can.
None of those things have worked.
I don’t mind cynical Jackie, it’s just been a while since she’s visited and I’m not sure I have much room for her to stick around these days. I’ve really lightened up since her last visit and I’ve gotten a lot more responsible, too.
Maybe it’s fake-it-til-you-make-it kinda thing. I thought that for a while – maybe I just have to pretend that this isn’t happening and no one will notice that I’m incredibly grumpy and I won’t bring them down or make them ask questions.
That didn’t work at all. In fact, I believe the correct term would be “backfire”.
So I’m off to the woods this weekend. I’m going camping in West Virginia with some old friends to cook things over a campfire that were never intended to be. I’m off to take trips in the forest and get lost. Maybe I’ll find cheery Jackie somewhere along the way.
Don’t worry: I’m autoposting. There may not be Internet in the butt crack of West Virginia, but there sure will be daily posts regardless. It’d be a shame for you to miss me while I’m gone.
See ya in a few. ♣