I’m Better Than Tony Horton

20 Jun

I would like to take a moment to announce my awesomeness.

Just bear with me.

4/365 Day 2 of P90X

photo by "j.r.speaks", Click image to check out her Flickr PhotoStream

For those of you who have been avid followers, you may recall a series of posts where I attempted to complete P90X – Tony Horton’s (as in Horton Hears a Who) no-excuses program for getting fit in 90 days.  It’s super intense, and made me want to cry.  After being almost complete sedentary, I was forced into hour and a half workouts, 6 days a week.  It started out as a Lollipop Tuesday and quickly grew into a commitment.  Within 3 weeks, I quit.  Somehow, I had managed to gain a pound.

I’m sorry, but any workout program where I’m dedicating an hour and a half of  my time six days a week and not seeing results or losing weight isn’t something I can stick to.  It’s just not.

But over the past few weeks I somehow flipped a switch in my brain and started eating a lot healthier.  And *gasp* I workout 5 days a week.  Nothing too  intense – I’ve just decided that I have to walk at least a mile.  I can do more, but I certainly can’t do less.  

And holy cow am I losing weight.

How is it possible that I can work out so hard for so long and actually gain weight, but if I just take it easy, try to eat better, and write down what I eat, I peel off pounds like a banana?

…Forgive that last simile.  It was terrible.

Anyway, the point is that I’m better than Tony Horton.  I am.  Because after 3 weeks on my program, I’ve lost 6 pounds.  And after 3 weeks on his, I gained one.  It’s simple math, and the math points to my awesomeness.

Unfortunately, he’s super rich for his program, and there’s no money in mine.  I’m always after million dollar ideas so that I can break free from the straps and chains of corporate America and pretend I get paid to travel the world, try new things, and blog about it.  But somehow I think “eat better and exercise” just isn’t going to cut it in the marketing world.  I’m pretty sure that’s been done before and no one really cared for it.

I wonder if I can keep it up.  I sure want to – it would be pretty darn awesome to be able to wear a swimsuit before the end of summer without feeling like a fatty fat.  Maybe I’ll take a picture of me, happy and healthy on the beach and send it to Tony Horton with a note that says “I’m better than you” and a copy of this post.

Yeah, that sounds like good marketing. 



14 Responses to “I’m Better Than Tony Horton”

  1. Marylou June 20, 2011 at 9:13 am #

    Too bad it isn’t a million dollar idea, but at least you found something that works. 🙂

    I imagine the reason Tony Horton didn’t work is because your diet (not “diet” as in “Miracle Diet” as there is no such thing, but “diet” as in your daily intake of food) has just as much to do with weight loss as exercise. If you tried it again while maintaining healthy eating, it might work. But you’re never going to stick to an exercise program that makes you feel like crap. So forget Tony Horton. You look better without him. 🙂


    • Jackie June 20, 2011 at 9:07 pm #


      haha – I’m sure that all these fine folks are right and that I was gaining muscle, yadda yadda. But that’s not very encouraging. And at the end of the day, I need some inspiration to keep it up. I hope I finally flicked the switch.


  2. pegoleg June 20, 2011 at 10:45 am #

    Congrats, you slinky, thang! You’re an inspiration, Jackie. Can you come over to my house at about 10 pm each night and yell at me when I’m going for the Ho-hos?


    • Jackie June 20, 2011 at 9:06 pm #

      Oh man, I’d love to be slinky. Even if I were skinny, the term would be more like “gawky”.

      I imagine if I were at your house, I’d simply join you for Ho-hos. But that could be fun too. 😛


  3. thesinglecell June 20, 2011 at 11:58 am #

    Congratulations! Eat better and exercise is the cheap way to do it. I suspect the reason you gained a pound on P90X or whatever it is was that you were gaining muscle. Eventually, that muscle would have burned fat. You would have lost weight, and been more fit, but you might not have gotten to a number you wanted, or, if you did, it wouldn’t have looked like you wanted it to look. The numbers don’t matter nearly as much as how you look and feel. But I personally think what’s most important (and what worked when I managed to lose some weight) was the switch that flipped in your head. You can tell yourself forever that you’re going to do it, but only when that switch flips does it actually work. Good for you!


    • Jackie June 20, 2011 at 9:04 pm #

      Yeah, and maybe I can use all the inspiration fuel from this and convert it to stepping up my workout game. But for now, this is pretty bangin’. 🙂


  4. Tara June 20, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    Gooooo Jackie! I think seeing results is the most motivating factor in anything, so it’s awesome that you lost 6 lbs!
    So many people go from doing nothing to doing P90X, or some other extreme fitness, and end up exhausting their adrenal gland, making themselves sick. Then they are weaker than when they first started.
    Listen to YOUR body girl, and it will tell you what you can handle. Apparently it likes what you’re doing now. Three cheers for bikini body!


    • Jackie June 20, 2011 at 9:03 pm #

      It appears to be a fan of slow and steady. I feel so much less pressure than I did when I was working out so hard for so long. This is definitely a preferred method.

      I hope it keeps up 🙂 Thakns for the encouragement!


  5. Jules June 20, 2011 at 3:35 pm #

    Hey Jackie, ready for another pro-tip?

    Stop focusing so much on W-E-I-G-H-T ! Many women fall into this trap, and I don’t blame you. Advertisements seek to brainwash you, but I am here guide you into the light.

    Seriously! Focus on your body composition and not body weight.
    It’s all about your muscle to fat ratio than overall weight, so stop focusing on weight.

    “If you look at 2 people, both the same height and both weighing exactly 70kg, the one with 15% body fat will look a lot smaller than the one with 35% fat.”

    I don’t have much time this morning so this link will have to suffice. Please read it! It will explain much more thoroughly than I could.

    Last but not least, don’t write off an exercise regimen because it’s not giving you fast results. It’s ridiculous to think that three weeks will give you significant results. (more advertising brainwash)
    Remember what I said a while back? 3-4weeks of work won’t fix 3-4yrs of sedentary living. It’s more like 3 to 6 months and that’s being conservative. Until next time…


  6. KristenSays June 20, 2011 at 7:45 pm #

    i will so pay you a dollar for a step-by-step guide to your “eat better and exercise” plan.

    mmm…. ho-ho’s. da*n you pegoleg! 😉


    • Jackie June 20, 2011 at 9:01 pm #

      Awesome! Just fine 999,999 other people who are willing to do the same and I’ve got myself a solid million dollar idea 🙂


  7. The_Observationalist_NYC June 21, 2011 at 9:08 pm #

    Congratulations on the weight-loss/exercise-epiphany! Although I have to admit, in Tony’s sad defense, his diet (when not paired with a healthIER diet) doesn’t really breed good results. Eating better, combined with a good workout, is the key to amazing results! So proud!

    Hope to goodness you things continue on the up-and-up for you this summer!


    • Jackie June 23, 2011 at 10:02 pm #

      Well I’m not about to do Tony Horton’s gig AND eat healthy. That sounds awful 😛

      Thanks for the encouragement 🙂


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