Boobs in the Summertime

22 Jun

Sometimes boobs are the worst.

Like in the summertime.

Boobs are just terrible in the summertime.  Boobs,  booblie wooblies, chests, coconuts, ta-tunkas, bongos, dirty pillows…whatever you want to call them.  On a humid, summer day they’re just awful.  Either they get all hot and sweaty and completely drench your bra, or you’re free flying and the feeling of your moist skin on top of other moist skin is so incredibly uncomfortable.

I’m starting to think girls who have their chests out when it’s warm aren’t just doing it to be the centers of attention; they’re airing them out.  They’re letting their chests breathe a little so their bras don’t become a swampy marshland.

Disgusting.

Maybe I just hate sweating in general.  I’m so exhausted by it.  I’m constantly taking showers to feel fresh, in spite of the fact that I’m instantly sweating once I get out.  I try to turn up the cold water, but that nonsense only hangs around so long before pockets of dew develop on my upper cheeks.

It’s all downhill from there.

I refuse to give in to air conditioning.   I refuse to dig that gigantic monster out of the cellar only to have it devour my electric bill.   I refuse.   I can be strong. I can do this.  I can save hundreds if only I allow body time to readjust to the weather change.

Beginning of summer be damned. 

Today’s RAK: Preparing a small care package for a friend many miles away.
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16 Responses to “Boobs in the Summertime”

  1. pegoleg June 22, 2011 at 9:43 am #

    ta-tunkas? Really Jackie?

    • KristenSays June 22, 2011 at 11:31 am #

      seriously. that’s what i was thinking. although booblie wooblies almost makes up for it. almost…

      • Jackie June 23, 2011 at 10:00 pm #

        I actually think ta-tunka is some Native American tribe’s term for elephant. I have no basis for that really, other than scrappy, messed up bits of leftover childhood movie knowledge.

        That’s pretty reliable as a source, right?

    • Jackie June 23, 2011 at 10:01 pm #

      Peg. Breasts deserve a far more amusing term than “boobs”. They’re little fat pillows.

  2. Jules June 22, 2011 at 11:26 am #

    Just a shout-out to all the ladies…thank you. My life wouldn’t be the same without them. (Bewbs)

  3. Don't Make That Face June 22, 2011 at 1:46 pm #

    I have big boobs and the girls and I HATE the summer for this very reason. I have to wear a bra which means I’m constantly powdering, wiping and repeating.

    Big boob girl problems. I would kill for little boobies.

    • Jackie June 23, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

      you powder your boobs? that’s fascinating. is that the trick? am I supposed to be powdering things?

  4. Bullshit and Blasphemy June 22, 2011 at 4:58 pm #

    I have small bewbs and when I work out they get so gross feeling!!! I never thought about having that feeling all the time in the hot weather. Well big boobs are awesome, so I guess its all pros and cons.

    • Jackie June 23, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

      bewbs! I should totally have spelled it like that. Far superior to the double “O”.

  5. Leah June 22, 2011 at 5:46 pm #

    I find boobs to be the worst all year round. Maybe it’s just mine!

    • Jackie June 23, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

      Yeah, actually, I don’t get any use out of them whatsoever. They aren’t big enough to inspire confidence or small enough to be a non-issue. The only real purpose they serve is identifying me as a woman, which, on my less fortunate-looking days, can be tricky.

  6. TBM June 23, 2011 at 11:56 am #

    LOL…I love your honesty. Never heard dirty pillows before. Good luck trying not to use the AC.

    • Jackie June 23, 2011 at 9:50 pm #

      Thanks and thanks!

  7. Kara Mae Adamo June 23, 2011 at 4:22 pm #

    OMG. As a Floridian whose AC is out in her car, I am behind you 100%, Jackie. Seriously. I’m about to ride around in public in a bikini. My reputation be damned, this is just god-awful!!

    • Jackie June 23, 2011 at 9:49 pm #

      Do iiiit. Drive naked. Start a naked revolution.

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