The Angst of a Mid-20’s Non-Adult

27 Jun





Not quite an L. Photo by Lenore Edman. Click to check out her Flickr Photostream.

I’m tired of being an adult.

Really, I am.  I know: blah blah blah you’re still young, you haven’t even started, just wait til you (insert crappy adult stuff here).

I’m still sick of it.

The only reason I do grown up things is because I have to or I have panic attacks.  I go to work, pay bills, clean the apartment, get the oil changed, go to the grocery store, and open a savings account.  Those things take up most of my time in life.   And I’d venture to say about 90% of the time, all those things piss me off.

They piss you off too.  Don’t lie.  You’re getting ready for work every day but what you’re thinking inside your head about all the other, more important, more pleasant things you could be doing.   I certainly am.  While I’m talking on the phone at work, I’m usually doodling a picture of myself stabbing my ear with a pen repeatedly until I die.

Or flowers.  Sometimes I draw flowers.

I started working when I was 16.  Kmart, if you’re curious.  I was Employee of the Month because I’m a super nerdy overachiever and the only thing to aspire to when you’re working the register is the highest rings per minute.  Every day was a race.  And I rocked it like a nerdy nerd.

I also wrote an essay likening my supervisor to the devil and described the feeling of my soul slowly rotting while I was at work.

It won first place in a contest at my high school.

Later I moved into the position of car dealership receptionist, then some Victoria’s Secret (and no, I don’t know why they hired me), some overnight stock clerk at Sam’s Club, some scene shop work, and some more receptionist work.  And now the Executive Assistant thing.  And you know what? My favorite part of all that was when I was laid off for two months.

That was the bees knees.

I have to find a way to pay bills and seem like an adult without really being one.  This whole ‘get a day job to pay for things while doing what I like but doesn’t pay at night’ thing is exhausting.  Well maybe exhausting isn’t quite the right word.

Soul-sucking.  That’s it. 

I suppose the best thing I could do is be a teacher.  I kind of have to go back to school to get my master’s for that.  I’d be more likely to get hired with a doctorate.   But once I have it, I can have summers off again.  Summers! Entire summers! I could work like it’s part of my life instead of all of it.

Is it wrong to go into a line of work solely for the amount of time you won’t spend at it?

Maybe I can just get all my work angst out in a book.  Yeah.  Maybe I’ll write a book.  Heck, after 2011 who knows what I’ll do with my extra hour-or-more-a-day that I don’t have to write a post.  2012 could be the year of the book.   It can be all about the angst of the mid-20’s non-adult.  Specifically through the eyes of an Executive Assistant like myself, who works for a woman who wears fashion capes to work.   And then I can get published and get paid to write satire.

Maybe then I can have summers off. 

Today’s RAK:  Plugging meters on the busiest street in the neighborhood at lunchtime.



16 Responses to “The Angst of a Mid-20’s Non-Adult”

  1. Marylou June 27, 2011 at 9:24 am #

    For real. Let’s brainstorm. I’ve been trying for a year and a half now to find a way to get out of this whole “working” thing while still maintaining both my integrity and my income…


    • Jackie June 30, 2011 at 11:18 pm #

      If it can be done, I shall do it. *trumpet sound*


  2. Renee Mason June 27, 2011 at 10:23 am #

    “Is it wrong to go onto a line of work…spend at it?” Great line, and it’s a far better reason than some people’s career choices.


  3. Jessica June 27, 2011 at 11:18 am #

    I get such a kick out of your posts. I look forward to reading them each day. I can totally relate to your work experience. For the past ten years I’ve worked in varying degrees of Executive Assistant (with an English degree, what was I thinking?) but they’ve ranged in title from EA, to Admin Assist, to currently – secretary. It’s not very glorious work that’s for sure. Depending on the person you are assisting, it can be rewarding and fun, or it can be soul-sucking. (Recently lived that for two years. It was a dark time.) Anyway, I would totally read your book if you wrote one. Your sense of humor and your voice are the bees knees. 🙂


    • Jackie June 30, 2011 at 11:17 pm #

      Thanks! And you’re sure right – absolutely not glorious work by any means. But it sure does keep you quick as a whip.

      Thanks for the comment about the book – I’ll be sure to hit you up for dough when I make it big 😛


  4. egills June 27, 2011 at 11:23 am #

    The reason teachers have such long holidays? It’s to give them long enough to get over their nervous breakdowns that normally happen after a week of normal schooling.. 😉

    Seriously – if you find a way of being able to live at the level of comfort I’m used to without having to sell my body ( soul got sold many years ago when I started working ), can you share it please?


    • Jackie June 30, 2011 at 11:16 pm #

      I will. I’ll write a book about it from my flat in Barcelona.


  5. pegoleg June 27, 2011 at 11:30 am #

    Two words: marry money. Wish my mom had given me this valuable advice when I was your age.


  6. Jules June 27, 2011 at 12:40 pm #

    You want to go from secretarial work to teaching? Are you thinking straight? Going from a desk job to micro-managing 20+ unruly children doesn’t make sense. 😛

    Concerning the whole work-responsibilities-misery thing…I believe people are only as happy as they allow themselves to be.

    Let’s reiterate — people are only as happy as they allow themselves to be

    It’s reality that everyone won’t be able to work in a vocation they have passion for and still get paid good money. You have to find a small pocket of happiness within your current situation, and make the best of what you’re given with. That’s one path to staying sane.


    • Jackie June 30, 2011 at 11:14 pm #

      Desk job = soul-crushing
      Children time = soul-antiaging

      I of course have to find a way to be happy in my current position, and I’ve carved out a way to make that happen. But I still have to sometimes exclaim how much I’d rather be a farmer/hippie/wanderer of the world/teacher/nomad in the summers. 🙂


  7. Don't Make That Face June 27, 2011 at 1:54 pm #

    Interesting. This is my plan, as well.
    Being a grown up sucks, but working sucks even more.


  8. TBM June 28, 2011 at 9:51 am #

    I’m still angry that no one warned me what it was like to be an adult. I remember people saying “hey enjoy this now while it lasts” but they should really sit you down and explain that working, bills, laundry, cooking, cleaning…it is depressing. I wasn’t prepared for this thing called adulthood. Good luck with the book idea.


    • Jackie June 30, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

      Agreed. I got a lot of talks in school but not this one.


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