Excuse Me: Can I Show You My Nephew?

15 Jul
Flickr Roulette - What's in your wallet

Image by "Gillian". Click to check out her Flickr Photostream.

I’ve become a bit of a hypocrite.

A double-standard-haver, if you will.  A taker-backer.  A jk-loler.

My entire life I’ve looked down on those folks with the fold-out wallet featuring their child, mother, pet, what-have-you, in a variety of different environments and moods.  I’ve glazed over as I’m shown picture after picture of someone I will never know or care to meet.  I’ve slept standing still, drool fresh falling out the corner of my mouth as I’m forced to view a baby in a bumble bee suit followed by a baby in overalls followed by a baby in a bathtub.

For the record, I have never felt comfortable being shown a baby in a bathtub.  I prefer them dressed as bumblebees.

But alas, this past weekend I was crowned with aunthood.   My brother texted a picture to me of the freshly born peanut and I giggled with excitement to meet him.   A few moments later, my phone buzzed again.  Another picture – but his mouth was open in this one.


And as I was finally let in to the room to hold the little booger in my arms myself, I cooed over his ability to contort his face into so many expressions in so little time.   I think that was the turning point.  I felt myself  fully transform into a hypocrite. If it were possible to put a baby in a bumblebee suit moments after their delivery without causing them great stress, I might have.  Heck, I’d even put him in a bathtub.  There’s no doubt that putting him in a variety of situations and costumes is endless fun for everyone.

The next day at work, I attached a picture of my new nephew to an email that I forwarded to our entire department.  That night I went to the bar and showed everyone on my side of the room, including the bartender.  I’ve shared him on Facebook, I’ve checked and rechecked the picture on my phone to be reassured of his existence and cuteness, and it’s taken everything in me to not throw rocks at passersby just to have enough time to have the phone ready with his picture when they come to.

Is it assault if they agree he’s adorable?

I’m trying to get a handle on this.  I’m trying to remember what it’s like to be on the outside, staring at a picture of someone I have not and may never meet as sleep drool drips from the corner of my mouth.   I will get a handle on this.  I will stop being an obnoxiously proud aunt.

It’s just hard because I keep getting distracted by thoughts of putting him in a turtle outfit I bought. 



17 Responses to “Excuse Me: Can I Show You My Nephew?”

  1. misswhiplash July 15, 2011 at 9:53 am #

    BumbleBee, Turtle suit..In the bath..wherever they are babies are adorable ESPECIALLY when you can give them back to their owner.
    I am sure that you will have much fun with your new nephew, but where is his picture?


    • Jackie July 17, 2011 at 11:51 am #

      I couldn’t upload him to my blog because he isn’t mine to share – I’d have to ask permission from the dad 🙂


  2. pegoleg July 15, 2011 at 9:55 am #

    Congratulations! I was more excited when my first nephew was born than when my own children arrived. Don’t tell them I said so.

    The difference between now and then, is the digital age allows you to hold people down and force them to see 378 photos of the world’s most precious child dressed as every mammal, bird and invertebrate in existence, until they drown in their own drool.


    • Jackie July 17, 2011 at 11:50 am #

      Thanks! Yeah, the digital photo frames, the thousand pics on a phone….it’s only a matter of time before people have pocket projectors to “just take a few minutes” to show you their cat/dog/vacation/children/new vacuum.


  3. Lori L July 15, 2011 at 1:26 pm #

    Ooooo, I can so relate. I have a secret “Auntie Lori’s Brag Book” hidden in my purse….and in my desk….and in my car…..yeeaaahhhh, I understand. 🙂


    • Jackie July 17, 2011 at 11:48 am #

      oh man… is a brag book where I might be headed? 🙂


      • Lori L July 18, 2011 at 4:35 pm #

        I fear it may be true.


  4. analyfe July 15, 2011 at 1:34 pm #

    Babies are soo adorable..but I agree, they are for more so when realted to you, but not living under the same roof haha. 🙂


    • Jackie July 17, 2011 at 11:48 am #

      oh yes. if there’s anything this experience has done for me personally, it’s the realization that I don’t have any desire to put my body through that/deal with it/stress about it/care for another human right now 🙂


  5. Meanwhile, back at the ranch... July 15, 2011 at 2:45 pm #

    Oh my gosh, I transformed into the same being when I became and aunt… and then promptly bought him a monkey outfit, a cowboy outfit, a sailer outfit…yup…ah what the hell, enjoy it…it’s not harmless until you become the aunt that sends the twelve year old boy a bunny suit for Christmas…


    • Jackie July 17, 2011 at 11:47 am #

      LOL I can’t WAIT for Christmas fun.


  6. egills July 18, 2011 at 4:32 am #

    LOL… This is one of the joys of FB – I have photo’s of all my family from various baby stages upwards… I took particular joy in posting one of my big brother as a baby and tagging him ( he doesn’t know how to take the tag off ) 😀


    • Jackie July 23, 2011 at 7:02 pm #

      lol that’s fantastic. also, your brother needs to get a handle on that or he’ll find himself privy to much worse than just baby picture tags.


  7. Ro July 18, 2011 at 11:54 am #

    I am officially avoiding your facebook page. Now that you’re one of THOSE people.


    • Jackie July 23, 2011 at 7:00 pm #

      Don’t. I’ll try to avoid it. I will. PLEASE. I HAVE NO FRIENDS.


  8. thesinglecell July 20, 2011 at 7:18 pm #

    Um… you won’t get past it, I’m sorry to say. I took 365 pics on vacation, and about 200 of them are of my nephews. Still… it’s pretty awesome. Congrats again!


    • Jackie July 23, 2011 at 6:51 pm #

      haha oh dear. I suppose I’m doomed. To be honest, he yawned while I held him last weekend and I was THRILLED. aha


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