I wish I knew how to make people stop apologizing to me for not reading all my posts.
It happens all the time. I’ll be in casual conversation and suddenly be accosted by a plethora of apologies for someone not reading my every written word. It takes many forms, but the scenario almost always includes a reason they don’t read it every day (busy, see it in inbox and intend to read it later, don’t read much) followed by an excited recall of the last one they’ve read in striking detail so that I know they actually do read it sometimes.
It’s pretty painful.
Firstly because I don’t really care if people read it every day. It’s certainly nice to have readers, and I’m floored by the folks who try to read every word. But I don’t sit around my apartment, brooding over so-and-so who didn’t mention anything about yesterday’s post. It actually never occurs to me to wonder which of my friends read and which don’t because, quite frankly, I don’t actually know most of my readers. I’m quite startled when someone I actually know tells me I had a good post recently – because I forget that people I actually talk to could know that I’ve eaten a cricket or pole-danced the night before.
I prefer to ignore it.
I don’t know how to make people stop apologizing. I’ve at least gotten to the point where I can spot the fear in their eyes and as soon as I hear the word “blog” I stop them dead in their tracks and emphasize that it’s really okay and that I really don’t mind and am flattered they even know I have a blog.
Unfortunately, they rarely believe me/accept it/stop talking.
As in any predicament, there is a flip side. There are folks who read my blog every day or darn near close to it. And those folks neglect to converse with me at all because they now have daily access to my brain and have no need of a personal interaction. Which, to be honest, the hermit inside me is absolutely thrilled about. I’d be pretty down for just conducting all social business online.
I don’t really like people. They disturb me.
Which is why I really have to find a way to stop the apologies. It’s just too awkward; I can’t take it anymore. I thought about sewing on “I don’t care if you read it” on the bottom of my jackieblog.com t-shirts, but that seemed overkill. Besides, I can’t always anticipate when I’ll be accosted, so I’d have to wear the t-shirt every time I leave my apartment. That will add up to some pretty frequent laundry loads and that’s unacceptable.
I could just start every conversation with someone who hasn’t already apologized to me by telling them not to apologize, but that’s even more awkward. If they don’t read it, they’ll feel like I’m calling them out and drop their subscription because they’re scared I can track them with WordPress.com’s super awesome site stats and summary (for the record, I can’t). If they do read it, they’ll be equally insulted by the accusation that they don’t.
I’m out of ideas. Maybe I just have to accept that people will be forever apologizing to me for something which I don’t hold them accountable.
Or maybe I can just order more t-shirts. ♣