Yesterday there was an epic happening on the home front.
My pudgy little monkey of a nephew reached deep within himself and declared dominance over his bottle by grasping it with both hands and never letting go. He conquered an inanimate object and thereby established himself as a blossoming self-sufficient being.
Blossoming, mind you. He still poops himself.
Needless to say, I’m pretty stoked. Think about how long he’s been trying to accomplish this one, simple task. Think about how many times he’s had to drink at an angle determined by someone else – how many times he’s wanted to take a break but could only stare blankly ahead. Think about how today has rocked his world.
He must feel so empowered. I’ll bet tomorrow he starts walking around.
I can’t remember the last time I accomplished something so easily measurable and so deeply gratifying. I wonder what got him through it. I wonder if it was stubbornness or frustration or an uplifted prayer to God that please, please could today be the day he tells his mother to stop making assumptions about whether he can or cannot hold his own bottle.
Ask and it shall be given unto you.
I’m a little concerned about my level of excitement regarding his achievement. If I celebrate over him holding his bottle, how on this earth will I contain myself when he takes his first step? Or when he says “Aunt Jackie you’re so cool” for the first time?
I will send him trophies in the mail, that’s how.
I’ll plaster my excitement all over a piece of paper and mail it to him; Heck, I should probably go install a little trophy shelf in his room. I can just send him little certificates of achievement for the most important things in life like learning to roll over, or saying something that sounds like gibberish instead of just crying and stopping his neck from flopping all over tarnation.
These are all worthy of recognition and praise.
So all hail my nephew, master of the baby bottle – achiever of dreams and determiner of his own destiny.
May inanimate objects everywhere cower at the mention of his name. ♣