I Have Met the Grumplepuss

28 Oct

Yesterday whilst on my way home away after work, I encountered the Grumplepuss.

I have used this term freely to describe persons with unnecessarily negative attitudes.  I had no image for the term, nor did I think to create one.  But yesterday in a Ma & Pa record store, I looked to the front counter to find the folks in charge and was instead greeted by this at the register:

The Grumplepuss

This, ladies and gentlemen, is obviously a Grumplepuss.  Though, her terrible attitude is not her fault entirely.  As Dave chatted away with the owner, Grumps loved up on me a like a soldier home from war.  After I gave her a few pats at the front counter, she jumped down to follow me around the store until I was finally convinced to sit down and give her some sweet cat lady lovin’. 

Even when content, a Grumplepuss can only look so pleased.

It was during this love fest that I noticed her terrible breath, her unkempt coat, and the gunk that had gathered around her eyes and lingered there for what looked like months.

Poor Grumplepuss has some negligent owners.

I thought about taking her home for a weekend to give her a good cleaning and return her afterward.  I also thought about sending a gift certificate to the business for a free grooming for her.  I’m sure there are lots of great ways that I can frame the conversation, but it still wouldn’t detract from the fact that I’m saying “Hey.  You obviously don’t take care of your cat.  Here’s money.  You have no excuse.”

Eventually the Grumplepuss curled into a half-moon, so that she no longer even looked like a cat, but rather an indiscernible, furry animal from the wild.

Unfortunately, she found it difficult to get comfortable and kept meowing a pathetic little meow, which made me think that perhaps more was plaguing her than met the eye.  Maybe I should send a vet gift certificate too.  Can I even do that?

One of several Grumplepuss attempts to get comfortable.

She eventually resolved to lie on my bag, though at first she was fighting with me to crawl inside it.  Maybe she was asking me to please take her away from the record store.  Maybe she was crying for help and was surprised someone actually pet her instead of saying she was a frumpy, dirty cat.

Or maybe I’ve taken the next step in my Crazy Cat Woman journey, where I am convinced I need to rescue even the cats that are already with an owner in a warm place.  Sooner or later, I’ll think they’re all trying to talk to me.  Some will be telling me to rescue them, others that my apartment is burning down, still others that tell me to collect more cats.

Maybe I should stick to the gift card approach. 


12 Responses to “I Have Met the Grumplepuss”

  1. debra mckune October 28, 2011 at 10:07 am #

    Maybe this is the universe’s way of telling you that you need to open up a kitty-kat resort spa!


    • Jackie November 2, 2011 at 9:53 pm #

      That would be so lovely. Right beside my puppy amusement park!


  2. phrogmom October 28, 2011 at 10:19 am #

    i would definitely have wanted to take the grumplepuss home!


    • Jackie November 2, 2011 at 9:52 pm #

      The more I ponder on it, the more I’m convinced a grooming gift card is in order for the holidays. Just wish I could have a secret camera to see the reaction. I could always drop by after a month or so and see if the cat looks better 🙂


  3. Louella October 28, 2011 at 10:20 am #

    She’s gorgeous, she looks like a cat I had previously – her name was Pebbles and she was a very hairy russian Blue 🙂

    Well done for resisting the urge to cat nap her…


    • Jackie November 2, 2011 at 9:51 pm #

      This time, anyway. I may return 😉


  4. Neil C. Reinhardt October 28, 2011 at 7:09 pm #


    While I am more of a dog person, my living conditions over the last 20 years which included a landlord / house mate with a great cat and twice living where I took pity on cats who seemed to have not owners, have caused me to become a cat person as well.

    So now I feed & love a male cat who I named,
    as he looks just like the one in the commercial, Morris. As he was a macho male who was always out fighting and chasing females, he would also always have cuts and injuries from his adventures.

    One day while looking at Morris’s head from the side, I was thinking how much he looks like a miniature male Lion. As lions are the “King Of Beasts” & Morris sometimes acts like he owns the world, I occasionally called him “YOUR

    Then one day, I saw a very young, very small black kitten peering out at me from under car in the parking lot. I tried to coax it out to no avail.
    So I started leaving some cat food under the car and after a week or so, I got it to come out from under the car.

    On discovering this was a female, knowing she was eventually going to old enough for Morris to make pregnant & knowing I can not afford
    to feed more stray cats, I knew I had to get her fixed and decided to get Morris fixed as well.

    At first, I called her “Baby” and then Blackie.
    Now, as I said before about Morris being His Majesty, I named her “Princess”

    Not being able to afford to feed and care for more cats, I contacted some pet activists and got it done for free.

    Anywho, now Morris just lays around and gets fat while the Black Beauty with the softest fur & the most scary Holloween eyes lets Morris give
    her many love licks.

    During all of this I found “feral” cats who are “fixed” have part of the end of their ear clipped off so they are easily identified as having been

    As far as poor GRUMPLEPUSS, I think you should do one of your FEAR GOBBLING things by marching into the store & convincing them to let you get Grumplepuss bathed & groomed.


    • Jackie November 2, 2011 at 9:48 pm #

      It’s amazing how you can transform an unkempt cat with a little love and time. My Lola was found on the side of the road as a baby and was in terrible shape. She has grown into the most lovely, wonderful cat 🙂

      I would have to work up quite a bit of gall to march back to the record store, but we shall see 🙂 Maybe I’ll send along a gift certificate when Christmas comes 😉


  5. Neil C. Reinhardt October 29, 2011 at 9:57 am #




  6. Square One Notes October 29, 2011 at 1:12 pm #

    Something about establishments that have cat greeters makes me want to return, perhaps I too have the future crazy-cat-lady gene. Thanks for introducing me to Grumplepuss, she’s a diamond in the rough!


    • Jackie November 2, 2011 at 9:43 pm #

      Most people don’t find it endearing so I would say you certainly have a dose of the cat crazies. But it’s okay; someone needs to love them.


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