Hallowhores

30 Oct

I think that instead of participating in Halloween this year, I’ll donate my time to community service and hand out cardigans on busy street corners.

I’ll focus strongly on college campuses and high traffic party areas.

Now, I’m wary to write a post dedicated to Hallowhores because it really is a very popular rant topic as of late.  Apparently this year’s cold front (the east coast has pumpkins on their front steps covered with snow) has highlighted the tenacity of the Hallowhores. I always thought folks were just turning a blind eye to the fact that Halloween is now an excuse for girls to dress up like the slutty sluts they always wished they could be.  But I guess now they’re concerned they may get the flu.

Or steal their boyfriends and husbands.

Dave came in the door from his show last night and had a look of slight terror on his face. He had just gotten off the bus, where a girl in a Sailor Moon costume boarded. (*cue music* Fighting evil by moonlight/Winning love by daylight…)

In her infinite wisdom, she had decided to go commando in her tiny little Sailor skirt.

For those of you unfamiliar with exactly how dangerous that can be, here is a picture of the offenders costume of choice.

I've decided to use an art doll image because all over examples were borderline pornographic. Yes, even the actual cartoon. It is, after all, anime.

Not much room for a breeze there.

Dave said every guy on the bus didn’t take their eyes off her. And when she tripped on the way out, the women joined.

I asked Dave if he got a shot of the front or the back.  Luckily (relatively speaking) it was the back. 

There is an obvious Sailor Moon joke here.  Just know that and be grateful that I spared you.

Now, call me a grumpy old conservative coot, but I find sporting an outfit with such a short skirt to a party at which she was almost indubitably going to get wasted a poor, poor choice.  And since she can’t even walk well in all that beautiful sluttery, I would argue against the choice all the more.  But alas, it’s a free country and we must let women wear very little and flash entire buses full of people every year on Halloween.  After all, it’s a holiday.

You know, on second thought perhaps I should revise my community service calling.

Cardigans and underwear. Yes.  It’s obvious now that only one will not do.

I’ll go get boxes and labels right now.

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12 Responses to “Hallowhores”

  1. thesinglecell October 30, 2011 at 6:49 pm #

    Sigh. Where is her mother? Why is no one stopping this girl as she walks out the door, all, “You’re NOT leaving the house like that”? I wish guys could really will themselves not to look at such things. No, really. That’s exactly what she wanted, so I wish they could deliberately NOT give it to her. Whore-loween costume be damned. Make sure the undies you give out are full coverage. Just for spite.

    Like

    • Jackie November 2, 2011 at 9:40 pm #

      I’m assuming she was college age. If she did indeed have parents who looked her up and down and let her out, my faith in humanity has reached an almost microscopic level.

      I agree about the men stares – I really get how difficult it must be, though I can’t fully understand since I’m not a man. But as a woman, I just wish the equation weren’t so simple (and pathetic) for getting their attention.

      Re: the panties – full coverage, 100% cotton. Elastic waistband.

      Like

  2. Margie October 30, 2011 at 9:24 pm #

    According to the folks who support ‘Slut Walk’, it is perfectly all right to dress like a whore. I can’t say I understand the logic of that.

    Like

    • Jackie November 2, 2011 at 9:38 pm #

      I hate it. I hate it so much. There is obviously a balance to be had in everything. And the debate about women wearing what they want vs. how that tempts men …. ugh don’t get me started. *deep breathing*

      Like

  3. Anita S October 30, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

    I love Sailor Moon… but I’m glad my girlfriend and I weren’t on that bus! LOL

    Like

    • Jackie November 2, 2011 at 9:36 pm #

      Dave said she wasn’t a looker by any stretch of the imagination. I wish I would have been there. I’m sure the blog post would have been much better.

      Like

  4. Jules October 30, 2011 at 10:50 pm #

    At least it wasn’t fat disgusting sailor moon MAN cosplay. Could be worse. Hehehe

    Like

    • Jackie November 2, 2011 at 9:35 pm #

      lol thanks for pointing out the disgusting brighter side of things.

      Like

  5. pegoleg October 31, 2011 at 2:02 pm #

    My 22-year-old was talking about possible costumes and I suggested a mad scientist at a nuclear plant, because I bought one of those white, hazmat coveralls. She said she didn’t want to go with the now-ubiquitous slut costume, but not quite a total frump, either.

    I like your cardigan and panties idea. I’ll start crocheting now to contribute for next year.

    Like

    • Jackie November 2, 2011 at 9:29 pm #

      Be oh-so-thankful for a daughter who shows disdain for the slut costume. Well raised, Peg. Well raised.

      Like

  6. Amy October 31, 2011 at 3:43 pm #

    I’m so glad there are helpful people like you! I hope those Hallowhores are nice when you help them. 🙂

    Like

    • Jackie November 2, 2011 at 9:27 pm #

      Aw shucks – I’m just doing my part 😉

      Like

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