My Cat’s Christmas Protest

26 Nov

My cat has taken up residence in the box that harbors my (fake) Christmas tree.

Actually, the tree harbors it no longer, as my apartment is now officially decked with boughs of holly.  So many, in fact, the Dave has begun to question whether my holiday spirit is too strong for him to tolerate.   He was even a little embarrassed for me to light up our Christmas tree for fear the neighbors would think we jumped the gun.

Besides Dave’s naysaying, Christmas decorating comes with a slew of obstacles.  Well, really just two: Lola and Hobbes.  Together, they’re a tag team of holiday terror, batting around ornaments that haven’t yet been added to the tree, eating half the garland strand before I notice and pull it from their intestines, and chewing ever so loudly on the tips of the artificial tree.

This year Lola carried out all the duties on her own.  I wondered where her partner in crime was until I went to put the Christmas tree box back in storage and instead found it as the new home to Hobbes.    It was adorable when we started, but now it’s day two.  I’m starting to think this is some sort of Occupy movement.  Is my cat against Christmas celebrations?  Is he fighting against the consumer-focused aspect of the holidays?  

I never knew he was so political.

There was only one other time that Hobbes took up residence in a box.  It was a banana box – one of those great rectangular ones that are relatively shallow and have a hole cut into the top of them.  I had finally gotten around to emptying items from it that I never really needed to have in storage in the first place and instead of taking the box right to the trash, I let it dwell in my living room for a day.  When I finally went to take it to the garbage, I found Hobbes inside, the curve of his rotund paunch resting ever so gracefully against the thin wall of cardboard.  We thought he would eventually move on, but he didn’t.  Every time we passed through the living room, he was inside. 

Since we couldn’t bring ourselves to throw away his favorite toy but also didn’t want a banana box hanging out in the living room, Dave and I decided to decorate it.  We sat down one night and painted the box brown, with blue waves and fish on the bottom half.  We secured a pole to one corner of the box and hoisted a handkerchief to the top, thereby making Hobbes the captain of his own sailboat.

My favorite was when he stood up in the center of the box where the rectangular hole was and it looked like he was sailing the seas.  I’d have given him an eye patch if he weren’t so squirmy.

The problem with the Christmas tree box is that it’s just so darn big.  I really can’t justify redecorating it and keeping it around; it’s enormous.  Plus, why get him all excited only to throw the tree back in and haul it to the basement in a few weeks?

Still, I’m not sure I have the heart to evict him.  I might fashion it into a canoe.  Or I could make it simple and hoist a banner that says “Occupy Christmas” across the top of the box.  

Let’s just hope the neighborhood cats don’t catch wind and come join the cause. 

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14 Responses to “My Cat’s Christmas Protest”

  1. whatimeant2say November 26, 2011 at 8:16 pm #

    He is eventually going to encounter the same problem the Occupiers did – where to use the facilities. Maybe you can coax him out with the promise of a less obtrusive box.

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    • Jackie December 4, 2011 at 5:29 pm #

      Hat box! Done. Perfection.

      Like

  2. Jason November 26, 2011 at 8:26 pm #

    I was hoping at first that your cat’s name was Dave. My cats love the Christmas tree, they climb up it and go crazy.

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    • Jackie December 4, 2011 at 5:29 pm #

      As funny as I think it would be to name my cats after traditionally human names, Dave is the name of my wonderful boyfriend. 🙂

      I had to stop one of my felines from batting at an ornament the other day. I’m bound to lose several by the end of December.

      Like

  3. Jules November 26, 2011 at 9:26 pm #

    Occupy Christmas. I lost it there.

    Bwahahahah!

    Like

  4. mistressofpoetry November 26, 2011 at 11:10 pm #

    Yes, I’d definitely get him a smaller box to let him live in, maybe one that holds bulk copy paper. Hat boxes are also quite lovely. Or you could get one that was smaller and slender, a long one he could crawl through that would extend the length of your couch. Don’t know where you could find one like that, but it would be great kitty exercise. They do make kid’s toys similar to that, though. Hmmm… maybe you could build him one out of legos?

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    • Jackie December 4, 2011 at 5:27 pm #

      Oh a hat box would be super cute. I’m wary to spend too much time on a contraption because he gets bored of them so quickly. But a hat box will do very nicely. I’ll just position it right beside the tree box until he explores it one day and put the tree box back in the basement. Wins for everyone 🙂

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  5. marucankissmyfurry... November 27, 2011 at 4:55 am #

    I think Hobbes is actually protesting the artificial tree. If you get yourselves a nice, big natural tree, I’m sure he’ll vacate the box and move into the branches. I recommend a Douglas Fir. Nobles are too dense for easy climbing.

    Like

    • Jackie December 4, 2011 at 5:25 pm #

      Yeah but then I have to pay money and find a way to haul it and deal with it dying and water it and oh-my-golly that’s a pain in the tush.

      Like

  6. egills November 28, 2011 at 7:59 am #

    One of my cats loved boxes ( or large handbags ). His favourite box was an empty stella box from a new years eve party many years ago, it was quite small and he’d curl up so he fitted.
    I love the idea of decorating the box though.

    Like

    • Jackie December 4, 2011 at 5:22 pm #

      lol I can’t imagine finding my cat in my handbag. That’s hilarious.

      Like

  7. pegoleg November 28, 2011 at 11:16 am #

    What is it with cats and boxes? Hobbes is uber-cute in his new home.

    Like

    • Jackie December 4, 2011 at 5:20 pm #

      Cute, yes. He’s always cute. But he’s also inconvenient, and I can’t have that.

      Like

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