Returning to the Corporate Jungle, or, The End of Bliss

28 Nov

Oh man.  Who likes coming back to work after a 4-day weekend? No one, that’s who.

I got a little greedy last week and took two days off (heaven forbid!).  Throw the natural God-given weekend in there and I feel like I’ve been on a real vacation.  Except instead of sunshine and new experiences, I have a decorated tree and an empty box of wine.

I like to keep it classy.

Sometimes when I’ve been away from a job too long, I feel like I’ll forget how to do it.  What if I go in today and when I answer the phone I just scream nonsensical words instead of a warm greeting?   Or when I have to take minutes, I just type “flamingo” over and over again? I’m not even entirely sure I remember how to make a meeting request on Outlook.

Oh man. I have to talk to people? And tell them things? What happened to sitting on my couch and petting my cat for 4 days?

I always harbor this fantasy after long weekends and holidays that the whole world will come to the conclusion that working is silly and we should all just stop.  Wouldn’t that be lovely?  You go to work today and your boss swings by to visit and tells you all about how their weekend away was wonderful and reminded them of the important things in life.  And that they’ve been thinking a lot about this and they’re willing to turn the workplace into a hippie commune, where people can hone their personal hobbies and crafts and receive a paycheck all the same.

It hasn’t happened yet; I’m not sure why.  Maybe my bosses don’t have vacations as awesome as mine.  Or maybe they just don’t like hippies.  Which obviously makes them racists.

At any rate, I’d better strap in; it’s going to be a long day of typing ‘flamingo’. 


12 Responses to “Returning to the Corporate Jungle, or, The End of Bliss”

  1. egills November 28, 2011 at 9:29 am #

    Good luck, normally within 2 mins of being back at my desk I feel like I need another break. 2 mins? That’s because it normally takes me about that long before I find it under the pile of paperwork that’s accumulated 😦


    • Jackie December 4, 2011 at 5:21 pm #

      I feel like my brain just shuts off for the entirety of December. How can I possibly be expected to think and do things when it’s December?! I can’t. December should be a no-work month.


  2. darkpenguin350 November 28, 2011 at 10:30 am #

    Spelling Jackie, Spelling!

    “conclusion that working is silly ad we should all just stop. “


  3. patricemj November 28, 2011 at 10:40 am #

    Cute post. But honestly, bosses who don’t like hippies? This seems odd to me. How does someone unappreciative of peace, love, happiness, goodness, box wine, all that, come to have responsibility over others?


  4. pegoleg November 28, 2011 at 5:59 pm #

    I’ve come to the conclusion that working is silly. We should all just stop.


    • Jackie December 4, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

      Be sure to tell that to your employees.


  5. Katherine Gordy Levine November 28, 2011 at 6:05 pm #

    There were times in my life when returning to work was my idea of a vacation. Stay at home parents will understand.


    • Jackie December 4, 2011 at 5:16 pm #

      Oh man, if work is better than spending 24/7 with kids then I don’t want to have kids. I don’t ever want work to be the highlight of my day. Unless, of course, I finally do something I truly enjoy and am proud of. That would be killer.


  6. thesinglecell November 28, 2011 at 8:50 pm #

    I second Peg’s motion. Except sometimes I realize I have to work to appreciate the time off. But then I tell myself I’m full of crap.


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