I’ve actually begun to kind of look forward to running.
I can’t believe I just wrote that. But there it is. Just, you know, sitting there.
For those of you who don’t have a feeding tube inserted from my blog to your brain, 1) button’s on the right and 2) let’s debrief. I started this program called Couch to 5K in an attempt to truly test the psychology that has (so far) successfully propelled me through posting each and every day in 2011. The idea is that I take the same no-excuses attitude, publicize it so people hold me accountable, and try to tackle the thing I hate most in the entire world: running.
One of the things that drew me to Couch to 5K is that it advises you not to do any more than it calls for, even if you think you can. Since it’s built for couch potatoes, it doesn’t want you to get burned out and quit. But earlier this week, I was sincerely pondering breaking the rules. I just wanted to feel good about the fact that I ran that day. I wasn’t in the mood to run, per se… I just wanted to be proud of myself and imagine my kangaroo pouch shrinking while I was huffing and puffing.
I’m using it for some serious storage.
Perhaps some psychoevaluation is in order. It appears to be a classic case of Stockholm Syndrome. With no choice but to continue on in the program I’ve so widely publicized and rooted in an activity I so deeply despise, I’ve begun to accept my position as captive and am starting to empathize with my captor.
Never, ever, in my life did I think this would be true. Of course, I’ve only almost finished week three of a nine-week program. Next week I could be cursing and devising new and exciting ways to break my foot so I can cop out. But what if I just keep…liking it? What if I turn into some kind of crazy running beast that can’t be stopped?
Well, the asthma will get me eventually. But after near-death and a puff of that inhaler: BEAST.
I’m on to something here. I’m going to unlock and entire world of psychoanalysis discovery. I can hear the news anchors now: “Postadayer turned marathon runner? How this awkward hermit girl became the Forrest Gump of our time.” I’ll write memoirs and I’ll get shoe endorsements and I’ll take the world by storm.
But first: week four. ♣