Jelly Belly

8 Feb

Ladies and Gentlemen, Happy Lollipop Tuesday.

Adventure first, rules for free t-shirt second.  Today’s adventure: A Sonogram!

That’s right : I’m going to new and interesting depths in my quest for new experiences.    And hey – if Obama’s gonna give me access to health care, I’m gonna step right through that beautiful, wide open door.

Actually, it’s that I appear to have some sort of rabid beast making nest in the right upper quadrant of my abdomen (note: not a baby) and it’s gotten rather uncomfortable.   Or an Alien, a la Alien.  Or! OR! I really am a superhero and this is just the initial stage of discomfort that precedes the turning-into-awesomeness.

Listen, if the doctor can’t tell me what it is without a fancy shmancy sonogram, then I’m free to take valid guesses as well.  I would argue that my conjectures are just as sound as hers given that neither of us seem to know what the heck is going on.  It’s just that her background is in medicine and mine happens to be in geek culture.

We’re both making the best guesses we can given the small amount of available information.

You may be thinking seriously? A Sonogram? But hey – if I’m going to have to go to the doctor once a week for this little organ-eating monster in my belly, I’m darn well going to use the experience for a Lollipop Tuesday.   I have to admit that before today, I actually wasn’t sure what to expect in a Sonogram.   I got the general idea that it was as simple as jelly+belly=picture, but thought I’d call my mom just to be sure there isn’t any funny business.  Mom usually lets me in on any funny business.

She comforted me and relieved my fears, affirming my jelly+belly assumption.  And then she said

“Well, that’s what it was 25 years ago, anyway.”

That’s what it was 25 years ago!? Oh, right.  I’m her last kid.   But what does that mean? Where has technology gone in 25 years? What if there’s no jelly anymore? What if there’s nudity or probing involved?  What if they’ve found some more efficient butt method? I really don’t want a butt method.

Turns out it’s pretty much the same as it was 25 years ago.  They do, however, refer to the instrument they rub your belly with as “the probe,” and between that and the warm, gelatinous liquid she splooged all over my stomach to get started, I really started to  wonder if there was a surprise happy ending.

Thankfully there wasn’t.

And now….*drum roll*

The Free T-Shirt Rules of Engagement

As you may or may not recall, last Tuesday I designed t-shirts for my Lollipop event and had everyone vote on their favorite.  The promise was that the winning shirt would be the first official t-shirt for the blog and would be given away for free to those who stopped by today and followed the instructions.   Here’s the winner (by a surprisingly close race):

Want one?  Ready, Set, Go.

It’s pretty simple, really.  All you have to do is click on “What’s Lollipop Tuesday?” at the top right side of this page.  Once you’re there, leave me an idea in the comments section for Lollipop Tuesday.   It doesn’t matter if you leave one or twenty, or if it’s a winner or a stinker – all that matters is that you leave a comment with an idea.  You have until midnight on Thursday, the 10th to leave a comment for consideration in the contest.

Disclaimer: Comments after Thursday at midnight are always welcome and highly encouraged, but will not  result in a t-shirt raffle.

On Friday, February 11th, I’ll put all the usernames into a hat and draw some winners (that right – there will be more than one.  Try not to pee with excitement).  I’ll contact the winners for their info and ship them a shirt.  Wham, Bam, Thank You Ma’am.

Happy thinking!


3 Responses to “Jelly Belly”

  1. Zenalicious Mommy February 8, 2011 at 4:52 pm #

    Pretty exciting stuff there Jackie! Congrats 🙂


  2. Zenalicious Mommy February 8, 2011 at 4:54 pm #

    Or did I misread? I’m confused clearly…lol


    • Jackie February 8, 2011 at 5:33 pm #

      LOL After a second read, it is obvious to me that someone could read this and think I’m prego. Which I’m not. I just happened to refer to the excruciating pain in my side as an organ-eating monster…which coincidentally can also be a baby.

      I think I might make an edit 😉 Thanks!


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