JACKIE SMASH!

24 Feb

For Valentine’s Day, Dave’s mom did a wonderful thing: she sent us cards and a few gifts to brighten our day.   Unfortunately, the gift Dave received was the beginning of a new peeve for me.

One thing I love about Jeanette (Dave’s mom) is that she is genuinely thoughtful and tries to lend a hand wherever she can.  That’s why Dave’s Valentine’s Day package included a small token of her affection: a key finder.

For those of you who don’t know, this lovely little contraption is intended to be clipped to your keys and emits a high pitched beeping sound when you whistle.  The idea is that you can simply whistle and find your keys wherever they may be hiding.

There are several unforseen downfalls to this brilliance.

The first is that it ruins a long-time favorite joke of mine.  Every time Dave loses something, I tell him to call it – regardless of what it is.  It’s never funny for him, but it’s always funny for me.  Unfortunately when he says he can’t find his keys and I make my staple comeback, he can simply whistle and shoot me a quick glance of superiority.

I hate quick glances of superiority.

The second is that the key finder isn’t too particular about the pitch required to initiate beeping.   So when I’m clinking dishes in the sink, it beeps.  When I hit a particular pitch in my natural voice, it beeps.

The other day, my cats chased each other down the hallway with an unusual amount of gusto and it beeped.

Dave’ s a bit concerned about taking it out places given its highly sensitive nature.   Who knows what could set it off and how inappropriate it might be for the situation at hand.   He can’t live his life in fear like that.

It’s slowly driving me insane.  You would think the solution is easy: we could just take the batteries out or get rid of it.  But it’s actually pretty handy when you need it and Dave and I are still in the process of weighing out whether or not it’s worth the constant annoyance.   And it’s impressive how long we’ll both sit on something we know needs done… not because we expect the other to do it, but just because neither of us makes an attempt to remedy it.    This is the cause of most of our collective downfalls.

There is one thing I love about the key finder.  It’s a  fun game Dave and I play that I’ve dubbed “stop talking”.    The rules are pretty simple: if Dave or I is saying something the other finds disagreeable, we simply whistle.   It’s simultaneously hilarious and maddening.

I’m still trying to determine if this keyfinder is a blessing or a curse to us.  We sure do have a good time with it, but I don’t think it has anything to do with its ability to make keyfinding any easier.   But I’ll admit that after the 5th time it goes off in the middle of casual conversation, I have considered taking a hammer to its tiny, seemingly innocent exterior.

I feel my breaking point quickly approaching.

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3 Responses to “JACKIE SMASH!”

  1. egills February 24, 2011 at 10:10 am #

    Attach it to the remote control instead of his keys.. Personally I’d have taken a hammer to it in the first week.. but then Brian looses everything that isn’t nail gunned to his forehead.

  2. sheila February 24, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

    this is hilarious! where can i get one?? i’m going to take it to all my classes…

    • Jackie February 24, 2011 at 9:11 pm #

      Dave’s mom.

      Hell, I’ll mail you this one.

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