Genius Baby Blankets

3 Mar

You know, I’ve never been the type to heal my wounds with shopping.  One, I was poor.  And two, I was a tomboy.  Not to mention that where there is shopping, there are people.  And where there are people, there are stupid people.  That was pretty much enough to keep me away.

But I’ll be darned if I didn’t get stressed at work the other day and use my lunch to walk across the street and shop.  It wasn’t my fault, really.  I’m not sure what’s come over me.   Well, yes I do.

I’m going to be an aunt.

That’s pretty huge.  I mean it’s huge for me.  I can’t imagine how my brothers can  possibly be qualified to bring rear up a decent hellian and it’s my job to make sure they do it properly.  Oh yeah brothers is plural.  Both their wives are preggalicious, a few weeks apart.    It’s gonna be awesome soon, but right now it just means that when we have family outings, there’s usually one person sleeping and one person throwing up.

The only problem is that I can’t seem to stop buying things.  The little buns of chaos aren’t anywhere near done baking and I’m already buying adorable carrot rattles to help them teethe.

For some reason I think it will be hilarious if all the things I buy for them to teethe with are actual food items.   Or maybe it will make them want to be a chef.  I’m not really sure how that all works.   But I have a severe issue with leaving adorable baby things on the adorable baby shelves in stores.     Not long ago, I was playing with an ordinary piece of fabric the size of my palm with a bunch of tags sewn on it.  Asking price was 20 bucks.  20 bucks!?  For a piece of fabric with a bunch of junk sewn on it and some 2-cent pamphlet explaining how soothing it is for babies to play with tags and that it stimulates their brain.

They get you with the brain stimulation thing.  That’s pretty much all they have to say for me to think that for the bargain price of twenty American dollars, I can secure myself a baby genius.  So naturally, I’m going to buy the tag blanket.  How could I not?  I don’t want my nieces and nephews to drop out of high school.  I’ll buy the damn blanket.

It’s clearly a problem.  I’m working on it but it’s so hard to pass up soft, adorable, pastel creations that produce baby geniuses.

For a brief moment, I thought I wasn’t ready to be an aunt.  But then I had a moment of reflection and realized I have two cats, a musician boyfriend, and a theater degree.   All I need is a high school art teacher’s wardrobe and I’m all set.

But that will really cut into my genius baby blanket money.

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8 Responses to “Genius Baby Blankets”

  1. pegoleg March 3, 2011 at 10:09 am #

    I love how plunking your baby down in front of a TV for hours on end is no longer the lazy/lousy parent’s babysitter, but a way to encourage Baby Einstein. Jeesh.

    Like

    • Jackie March 4, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

      You know, part of me is glad that there are parents still out there who care enough to want to jack their baby up with einstein products… and part of me is incredibly sad for these kids and that everything they touch has to have some sort of brain stimulating property.

      Like

  2. Lori March 3, 2011 at 10:24 am #

    Don’t forget the power of freecycle when securing baby items!

    Like

    • Jackie March 4, 2011 at 9:58 pm #

      Have absolutely never used it. I will check it out.

      Like

  3. Faith March 3, 2011 at 5:22 pm #

    Aww. I love babies. I totally understand your obsession with buying baby stuff. I’d do that too if I had anyone to buy it for. And your neices/nephews will be so lucky to have you for an aunt XD

    Like

    • Jackie March 4, 2011 at 9:59 pm #

      Thanks, Faith! I’m losing money quickly, but I’m just so excited 🙂

      Like

  4. Choofie Best baby blankets August 3, 2013 at 9:29 am #

    Being a MOM is the very exciting part… the thrill of choosing baby’s things and all. Just remembered how picky I am 😀

    Like

    • Jackie August 7, 2013 at 6:41 pm #

      I’m going to be so broke. There’s another one on the way next month. Lord be with me.

      Like

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