I’ve been trying to “grow into” 25.
Of course, I’m not 25 yet, but once you’re 23, you’re 25.
Anyway it hasn’t been working out so well, the quarter-of-a-century thing. I don’t feel in a funk, per say, because I’m always going after new things and have something on the horizon, which is a pretty groovy way to live life. I don’t feel attached to my job, I have a fan-freakin-tastic boyfriend, and I’ve got documented proof that I’m growing as a human being. So that’s pretty cool and stuff.
But the stinky part is how I miss college. I mean, I don’t want to be one of those people who “misses college”. And I guess I don’t – too many terrible personal things happened in that place and I wouldn’t go back for half a million dollars. A cool mill? Maybe.
Well, if I’m being honest.
But what I do miss sometimes is how much darn fun it was the rest of the time. I did some seriously crazy (and mostly legal and morally unobjectionable) things there, empowered by the energy of a group of similar-minded folks. And looking back, I seriously miss having a spring break and then a whole summer. I miss not paying bills and the adventure of trying to float on a miniscule loan refund each month.
I hunted out free food like a city rat and it was glorious.
But now I have bills and need to buy things and go places and do stuff. But I’m not good enough at any of it that I feel I’ve got it covered. Which would be nice because I could just relax.
I’m in a strange area of life that I haven’t heard enough stereotyping about to know how to act. What are the typical symptoms of someone in my position? Maybe I can google them, feel comforted and settle in to what I then know is the norm.
But then Dave and I were skyping with a friend, relaxing because it’s evening and evenings mean stop working. I was making chai because in spite of how stuck up it sounds, it really is delicious. And there in that moment, when I laughed with an old friend over the stove, I kind of thought this isn’t so bad.
Nearly-25 has it’s groovy moments too. ♣