Growing Into 25

I’ve been trying to “grow into” 25. 

Of course, I’m not 25 yet, but once you’re 23, you’re 25.  

Anyway it hasn’t been working out so well, the quarter-of-a-century thing.    I don’t feel in a funk, per say, because I’m always going after new things and have something on the horizon, which is a pretty groovy way to live life.  I don’t feel attached to my job, I have a fan-freakin-tastic boyfriend, and I’ve got documented proof that I’m growing as a human being.   So that’s pretty cool and stuff.

But the stinky part is how I miss college.  I mean, I don’t want to be one of those people who “misses college”.    And I guess I don’t – too many terrible personal things happened in that place and I wouldn’t go back for half a million dollars.  A cool mill? Maybe.

Well, if I’m being honest.

But what I do miss sometimes is how much darn fun it was the rest of the time.  I did some seriously crazy (and mostly legal and morally unobjectionable) things there, empowered by the energy of a group of similar-minded folks.    And looking back, I seriously miss having a spring break and then a whole summer.  I miss not paying bills and the adventure of trying to float on a miniscule loan refund each month.

I hunted out free food like a city rat and it was glorious.

But now I have bills and need to buy things and go places and do stuff.  But I’m not good enough at any of it that I feel I’ve got it covered.  Which would be nice because I could just relax.

I’m in a strange area of life that I haven’t heard enough stereotyping about to know how to act.  What are the typical symptoms of someone in my position?  Maybe I can google them, feel comforted and settle in to what I then know is the norm.

But then Dave and I were skyping with a friend, relaxing because it’s evening and evenings mean stop working.   I was making chai because in spite of how stuck up it sounds, it really is delicious.   And there in that moment, when I laughed with an old friend over the stove, I kind of thought this isn’t so bad.

Nearly-25 has it’s groovy moments too. ♣

Tags: 365 Project, coming-of-age, life, musings, postaday2011