My cat is making me doubt my ability to be a good mother.
I sometimes think about killing my cat.
I’m having a really hard time dealing with my cat’s dependency issues.
She used to just be a very loving cat who would rub up against me to see if I was interested in her affection. If she deemed it appropriate, she would launch into an all out love fest all over my lap, legs, feet – wherever she could maneuver herself for my attention.
But now she’s a monster.
From the moment I wake up, she’s there – staring at me. She follows me into the bathroom, follows me from the shower to my bedroom, and from the bedroom to the door. I used to think she did it because she was hungry, but every time I rush to feed her in the morning, there is still evidence of her meal from the evening prior.
Sometimes I get so creeped out by her watching me get dressed that I put her outside the door until I’m finished.
When I come home after work she goes into full attack mode, tripping me while I walk, lurking over me while I cook, and sometimes ramming her head into my hand so forcefully that I have actually spilled things on myself. She’s insatiable.
I thought her new attitude was a symptom of loneliness. I thought that perhaps I wasn’t spending enough time with her. But regardless of whether I pet her for an hour straight and follow it up with a rousing game of “chase the laser” or I ignore her all day, she cannot be tamed. I’ve fed her treats, massaged her, pet her nicely, pet her harshly, picked her up, taken her for a walk (yes, I took my cat for a walk), and let her lie on me even when it’s incredibly inconvenient. None of it helps. If I want to read something, I have to do it standing up or my book will get forcefully nudged out of my hand, and she will spend her time putting her body between me and the page I am reading.
She has been known to lie down directly on top of something I have in my hand as I read it.
At night I’m so terrorized by her that even when I’m not yet asleep, I slow down my breathing and fake it so she moves on.
I’m living in fear and I can’t take it anymore. It’s a wonder I can even do a blog a day without her putting her litter-laden paws all over the keys and foiling my attempts.
Recently, I’ve been feeling slightly maternal. I don’t know if it’s the soon-to-be-aunt in me or the ticking of my own biological clock, but babies are starting to kind of grow on me. But now I’ve got this insatiable cat and I’m starting to feel like my entire life revolves around her and her ridiculous requests and I just can’t do this.
I can’t be a mom if my cat is introducing me to what I can expect from motherhood. I fear I may become violent. ♣
She stared at me like this the entire time I wrote this post. ...help...me.....
The Jackie Blog 
This is Awesome.
It is nice to see others having similar feline problems. Our cat is getting more annoying day by day. She only used to mewl at 5:30 in the morning when I usually wake up. Two nights ago, 4:30am. Last night, 2:00am.
Is there any other pet with such extremes — so loveable yet so throw-kleenex-box-at-able?
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It’s so flattering, isn’t it? But it’s so darn frustrating to give her everything she wants and for her to STILL not be happy. At least she doesn’t meow and wake me up. I’d rather deal with this than with that 😉 Good luck! haha
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Aw, your cat loves you! She probably gets horribly lonely while you are out at work. Mine is quite dependant on me and I am at home most of the time. She misses me when I go out. Maybe she would appreciate another cat for company, but I have never had more than one at a time and have no idea how you would find one that would a friend not an enemy…
Sometimes a bit of gentle discipline can be helpful. It’s a bit of a myth that cats can’t be trained, they just don’t want to be 🙂 My new cat came here at the end of August and at first she would wake me up in the morning (not my favourite thing!) wanting cuddles and food. I usually give her cuddles, albeit sleepy ones, but I made a point of not feeding her until I was ready to. Her food is next to my bathroom, but I would go to the toilet and ignore the food even though she would meow for it.
It took a month or two, but she got the idea that there was no point waking me up to ask for food! The only thing I worry about is how she will cope if I have to spend a night away from home! She sleeps on my bed, but I like that.
With the reading, I would try letting her sit on you, but push her away if she gets too pushy. First, just push her head away and encourage her to sit quietly. If she won’t then push her off your lap. Let her return and try again, but if you have to push her off again then maybe stand up for a few minutes. Then try again, but if she won’t settle, stand up and walk out the room. She ought to figure out that she is welcome to sit quietly, but not to be too pushy.
She needs to know the boundaries, that she is loved, but that she must respect you. Certain behaviours are acceptable and others are not appropriate. Say no in a loud voice and maybe pick her up and dump her outside the room. Consistency is vital. If you sometimes discipline her and other times make a fuss of her for the same behaviour she will not be able to work out if it is good or naughty. Fuss her when she is being quiet and good, try to ignore her or push her away if she is naughty.
Cats are smart, she ought to catch on. But they are also very independent and she might sometimes do things she knows are wrong. I think children are not so different, though I have no personal experience there. If you can learn to train your cat, you can learn parenting skills 🙂
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Just a quick comment, I just hold my hand out in front of my cats face, when he jumps up and tries to talk to me…I say NO and look him in the eyes. He knows his boundaries. LOL
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This is great! Thanks so much for the advice. I’ll try your tough, controlled love suggestion. She hasn’t always been this way, so maybe a little reconditioning will do the trick 😉
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I thought only my cat did those silly things. What a great title: the terrorist. How clever, got my attention. I agree the following thing and the “trip” me thing gets old. Some day I will ….well… you know. 🙂
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LOL very nice.
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Wow, I don’t really have any comments that are positive. But I feel the need to comment just so you know that people are reading your post.
I’ve never really liked cats, but I do have a dog. And when my dog gets crazy like that, I usually trick him into going in a room and then lock him in there. Cruel? Quite possibly. But it works.
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“corzgalore” I have had to lock up my cats the way you did with your dog. LOL it worked! Some peace and quiet. Hum….. Meow RUFF RUFF RUFF
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How can you get away with that and not have him scratch the bejeezus out of the door? Because I’ve tried that with Lola and I’d rather deal with her crap then listen to her claw away my security deposit.
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Cats creep me out to begin with; after reading your post, there’s NO WAY I’m ever owning a cat.
After all, given my crazy life, I’d get the crazy stalker/terrorist cat. Just like yours!
😉
Funny post — thank you!
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aww well if it’s any recompense, my other cat is darling. And Lola wasn’t always this way. It’s just that lately she’s been off her wagon and it’s driving me bonkers.
Then again there are a lot of weirdos out there and if you don’t like cats to begin with, you’re bound to not appreciate the antics. Thanks so much for dropping in 🙂
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I love this post! I will have your cat anyday i need someone or something to adorn me with attention haha
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Sweet! I’ll rent her out. Or drop by. Maybe if I get enough people petting enough sections of her body all at the same time, she’ll go into attention overload and be fixed forevermore.
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Yeah, we’ve got one like that – all the symptoms. I think it’s something certain humans give off – energetic, chemical, electrical, existential – whatever it is, cats get addicted to it and just can’t get enough. Scientist should investigate, instead of spending billions chasing the Higgs Boson. The only practical solution we’ve found is to set up a panic room.
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I’ve been having some of the same issues too with one of my cats, Onyx. We have two dogs and three cats (including him) so I don’t think he’s lacking in companionship. Although we have recently thought he was starting to lose his mind when he started seeking out the affections of the two dogs that he previously had an immense disliking for. Now, it’s nothing to have a 15 lbs cat and a 50 lb dog in my lap, all cuddling together like they’ve been best friends for life. If you figure out how to get him from knocking stuff out of your hands, let me know!!
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LOL oh man – that’s quite a burden you’ve got there. That’s just too many animals for me to know what to do with. Even now if both my cats are in one of my smaller rooms at the same time as me, I start to feel like I have an infestation and I make them scatter. Kudos to you for your animal management skills – and for giving a good home to so many little ones.
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I feel your pain. My cat NEVER shuts up. And the head butting my hand? Yep. But with my cat, I pick her up or pet her and it is a *very* brief time before she is ready to take my arm off. She has a short circuit. Since I stand by my so-called delusion that she understands every word I say, I routinely tell her exactly what I would tell an annoying person. They DO understand. I’m sure of it. (and I swear I am not a crazy cat lady). I have a special small table for blogging and she understands that she is NOT allowed on that table. It probably only works because she has her own office chair. Really. It’s sick.
I agree, cats are terrorists. Good luck.
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haha my parents give their cat his own chair. I find that hilarious. Isn’t it so weird how one moment they adore you and the next they’ll scratch your eyes out? Every day is a gentle toeing of the line of cat aggression.
But they’re just so darn lovable.
Thanks for stopping by!
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True story, my now passed away cat…un characterized started to meow in the middle of the night. I went to him, and he was telling me something. As I examined him, He had a huge like Pimple on his chin that hurt. He let me pop it without a problem, like he was relieved. So, maybe your cat is telling you something.
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this seems to be a common consensus – I’m going to try to figure out what’s going on with her. She seems perfectly healthy (and *gross* pimple-free). But maybe there’s something else? I’m on the case.
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Sometimes cats become obsessive when they don’t feel good. They’re trying to tell you there’s something wrong. So you can try taking your cat to the vet for a check up. Especially if she might be in heat, or pregnant.
Other times, cats know there’s something wrong with you, that you don’t know about yet, so you may want to call your GP for a check up. Your cat might be checking to see your still alive, knowing you have a wonky heart or diabetes or something.
You don’t say if the cat is an indoor or outdoor cat. She may be bored locked up all day, and see you as her only stimulation. Like the stir-crazy new mom that has no one but a baby to talk to all day, she may be bored.
Try hiding her food around the house, or in complicated toys, so she has to work to find it could help. And leaving a radio on when you’re away. Things like cat nip and scratching posts help. Catnip can “take the edge off” sometimes.
I hesitate to say getting another cat will help. I don’t think it will. It’s probably better if you let your cat outside while you’re at work, if you can. Otherwise, there are cat videos, really, that cats enjoy watching and help them mellow out.
You might also think of giving your cat to someone that’s more house-bound who would see the cat’s attention as welcome companionship. A senior citizen perhaps.
As for kids, if the cat’s behavior is bothering you, you probably don’t want to have a child. It’s going to be the same thing all over again, except you’ll hear the word “Why?” all the time, and your child will have opposable thumbs with which to truly turn your world upside down.
On the other hand, a nanny could resolve all your cat/child troubles!
Good luck and godspeed!
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Great comment`s Keisen!
I, like you, think that a visit at the vet and the doc would be a good start!
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Totally agreed. She sounds bored and/or may be senses some health issues w/u.
For boredom–ditto all the suggestions above; esp. going outside part (at least make sure she has a window/balcony where she can hang out; may be take her for a ride in a car, to a pet store, park, etc.). My best guess it’s just lack of mental & physical stimulation.
There r some toys that involve puzzle-solving to get food–google those. Also, train her tricks–yes, cats can do those very well (sit, lay down, roll over, etc.).
Yep, this is a test of ur patience 🙂 If u pass this one, u’ll not only make a fantastic Mom, u can apply for a nomination for sainthood! 😀
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These are great suggestions – thank you so much for sharing!
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wow, your cat and my cat should get together. that little a***** is killing me softly.he bites too.)))
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uuugh Lola bites too. I can only give her a *certain* amount of attention or it’s love overload and she attacks.
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Kitties are always so… strangely demonic.
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My cat does the yowling in the early hours in the morning that irritates me, but otherwise he’s still a sweetheart.
You gotta luv those furbabies. Can’t live without them.
I would say, enjoy it while it lasts…because when they get older and stop doing those things, you’ll find yourself missing it 🙂
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silly cat!
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All terrorists becomes terrorists for some reason! You just have to figure out why you little cosy cat became one:-) I hope you work it out!!
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Cats, like children need boundaries, so set some… and STICK to ’em … bottom line is… you’re at least 10 times bigger than her, now get out there and prove it!
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LOL I love this – thanks for dropping in 🙂
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Love it! I consider my two felines to be my furry, four-legged alarm clocks. They will hop up on the bed and sit on my chest until I get up to feed them.
One thing that I’m completely freaked out about is that my younger one, Eli, likes to make love to my round pillow. His eyes narrow to slits and he almost starts drooling….it embarrasses me and I have to look away and pretend I don’t see him…..
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haha ewwwww. Both my cats are fixed so I’m good to go there. But when Hobbes (not the one in this post) was a baby, he used to curl up on Dave’s head at night and chew on his hair. It was so cute and gross at the same time.
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Don’t you rather shudder to think what Kitty will/would do to Baby when and if you have one? There’s not room enough in the crib for two…
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This made me laugh so hard because it reminds me SO much of how my cats have been acting lately! I’m surprised right now I don’t have one of them screaming at me for not petting them…
And forget reading, eating, or actually putting my laptop in my lap 😛
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Sometimes we just want to live our lives, right?!
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Thanks, you made me laugh! Maybe she is related to my cat? She has got the same behaviour, but I continue breathing if she passes by my bed – but I don´t let them (mother and daughter) sleep in my bedroom, because they will wake me up, but sometimes they manage to hide behind the curtain or walk in there in the middle of the night while I´m at the bathroom, and leave the door open just in order to let in some “fresh” air from the hall – so it is best to close the door and open the “ventilation” above the window, and watch your feet so that you don´t stumble and fall, because they want to show you the way to the bathroom, and enter the door, if not they (the mother cat) will scratch on the bottom of the door with her “clows” until you open it – and scratch her. My cat are born in 2002-03, and I don´t know how long time “they have got left”. I have heard of cats who have lived to be between 13-20 (“human”) years… A few years ago I prayed to God that He somehow would let them die a “natural death”, but I regret and asked Him to protect them, because I do love them, I actually do. God bless you and your cat.
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I enjoyed this so much! My cat does the exact same thing! Just the other day, he stepped onto my laptop as I was writing and took away the ‘4’ and ‘5’ keys of my keyboard as he ran away when I pushed him away.
He’s always moaning and meowing and constantly following me. It’s cute but I have no idea to stop it!
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well there’s a whole army of ideas in these comments, so weed through and pick some out for yourself! I’m going to try the tough love thing. Maybe that will work for you too? Thanks so much for stopping by! 🙂
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Heh, this was a great article. My cat isn’t very cuddly, but I wish she would be! My old roommate had two cats and the one, Lynx, was the biggest cuddlemuffin ever. Every time I got into bed, he’d come and join me and lay in the crook of my arm or on my belly.
It was adorable, I loved it. But, he wasn’t too needy unless he was in my bed haha. Otherwise he pretty much left me alone.
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cuddlemuffin = awesome word. Hey, there are a few people who have offered to give her some affection in my absence. Maybe I can ship her all over the nation and when she gets back, she’ll be normal. I’ll keep you posted 😉
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haha my cats are the same way. my male cat, beavis is way too needy. from the instant i wake up he has to be on me.. walking with me…of course i always trip on him which makes me believe he is trying to kill me.. then he licks…and licks…and licks some more..think he is trying to lick off my friend… aaaaaah…. gotta love em 😉
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I love that your cat is named Beavis. Thanks for sharing 🙂
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Great post…loved it!
Perhaps she needs a little feline brother or sister to torment?
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Thanks! Unfortunately, she has a little feline brother and he’s the one doing the tormenting 😦
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This is hilarious and I’m so glad you shared it. My kitten is the same way. It’s so frustrating. I know he’s not lonely because he hangs out all day with his momma cat and two dogs. If you figure out what to do, please let me know!
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Comb through these comments – there’s a whole fleet of suggestions! Some are a little battier than others, but all of them are welcome and might work for you! 🙂 Thanks for dropping by.
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My cat starts do make a noise like Brummmm to call me so that i pet him while he’s eating. People don’t train cats but cats do train their people well
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it should have occurred to you that this is march- your cat needs a mate during this time.
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It didn’t. She’s fixed and never done this in all the years I’ve owned her. But in case that’s the issue, there’s a male cat in the house as well and they’ve got a solid 8 hours to work out their feelings before I come home from work each day 😉
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Fun post–
I live with The Evil Cat, Sadie. One day, she will take over the overthrow the world regime with her Total World Domination schemes…
The behaviour you describe from your cat is the first step…The Evil Cat, Sadie, started out just this way.
Beware.
🙂
blessings
jane
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how about getting her a four-legged frined…she might be terribly jealous, that’s true, and reject it , at least in the first place,….but she might also love the other fellow/lady and be less bored, and need less attention from you. Kaisen had a very good point on boredom and NOT ONLY. I have two cats- they never get bored. Its true, although they are sisters, they have very different temperaments- one is shy ( particularly with stragers- if i got more that 1-2 friends in the house she’ll probably hide) and does not interact with us a lot, the other one is very ‘talkative’ and sociable, invites you to hug and carress her- so it is also a matter of…feline temperament, i guess.
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She does indeed already have a 4 legged friend, though sometimes he’s a 4 legged bully. I’m going to try some of the million suggestions here and see if I can soothe her 🙂
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Excellent post – I have a cat that does the same. He enjoys silently staring at me while working in the middle of the night. Can’t say it nearly gave me a heart attack a few times.
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Oh she is FIERCE! I think I know who is beginning to run the house… dun dun dun!
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Hysterical! I used to live with cats, but now I just have dogs. Brings me back. Cats can be so silly sometimes. But puppies can also lead one to mood swings. Grrr
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Looks like she got you in her grip… The force is very stong in her 😉
good luck with that!
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I was just going to click “like” on this but I have to thank you for gracing me with a nerd reference. 🙂
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…it’s a cat conspiracy for sure! Our cat is the same. It’s the staring that get ME. What IS she thinking? She looks like she is sizing me up for dinner. GREAT story and your cat is beautiful!
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aw thanks 🙂 I think she’s so pretty. And she used to be a fatty, so that sexy picture is good for her new body and self esteem haha
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I think her collar might be too tight?
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negative – she’s currently running around my house naked as the day she was born (I take their collars off every once in a while and let them celebrate their freedom) and she’s still ridiculous. 🙂
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Loved that piece! And I can totally relate.
George, my Birman, has a similar stare of complete and utter disappointment…
I’ve showered him with the latest toys, turbo tracks, tic tocs, climbing frames. He has daily cuddles and playtimes. But no, following me, and attacking my toes are the only things worth doing in life apparently.
Yes, it’s true; all cats are terrorists in the making!
But life would be pretty boring without them!
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ooooh my goodness he’s so gorgeous and adorable! I LOVE him.
I’m so glad to hear someone else loves and cares and showers their cuddlemuffin with toys and yet their cat is insatiable. I think some people have assumed I don’t spend enough time with her, but I spend a LOT of time with her and she’s still crazy – which is the whole point.
Glad to know I’m not alone – and again … your little furball is just a cutie. Thanks for stopping by!
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Hahaha not only do you have a terrorist, you have one adept at stalking.
Congratulations on being FP!
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First of all, I loved the post and I absolutely love cats!
Well, at least, in the picture, your cat seems like… he is staring in a odd way for a cat. I mean, he stares like a person!!! Look at him, his position, his look, his eyes, his face expression… he totally looks like acting as a human. Is it me or anyone else notices that?
Maybe your cat is in love with you, or wants to tell you something, I don’t really know, but I swear the way he stares is inspiring to write a book like those where creepy toys or animals come to life.
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haha this comment is great – thanks so much for stopping by!
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He seems like “The Godfather”, but the cat version xD
Cat’s mafia for the win! 😀
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Loved this! I am a cat person because I find that dogs are too “high maintenance”…and cats simply act as if they are. However, it seems like you have a high maintenance kitty on your hands:)
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yeah that’s one of the great things about cats – they’re usually pretty independent little creatures and only grace you with their presence when they feel like it. That’s how Lola used to be until a few weeks ago. It’s so bizarre to suddenly have her so into me.
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Maybe get another cat friend for her? Or perhaps try a pet psychic? haha
All cats are crazy and yours is no exception. I would try and draw some boundaries. It may take awhile but she’ll back off eventually.
My cat (rest in peace) used to sit on top of my bedroom TV and meow at the corner of the ceiling….while I was trying to sleep. Then she would progress to knock EVERYTHING off my dresser. That and I could never close doors in the house either. 30 seconds after closing a door would trigger excessive meowing and paws poking out from under the door.
Good luck!
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Oh man I used to hate the “knock crap off the surfaces” game. It always used to happen in the middle of the night and I’d be so upset. I can’t lock Lola out of my bedroom either – I’ve tried to outlast her but after 25 minutes of clawing, I just have to give in. Her tenacity is impressive.
I’m gonna work on the boundaries – hopefully I can get her back in line. 🙂 Thanks for stopping by!
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Ah, the mind of a cat – I’m convinced that they know something that we have yet to learn!
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It is time to play “kick the cat.”
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haha you’re not such a winner with the ratings on this one. No worries, though. She gets her share of accidental kicks from insisting on weaving directly in front of my path. Thanks for dropping by 😉
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I’m sorry, but this really made me chuckle. I hope she gets calmer. Good luck!
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Haha!Sir,I’m an anti-terrorist soldier.Please send her to me.I can give her good training.
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This post had me in splits! Try getting another cat (but don’t blame me if things don’t go well…)
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have one – no good. He does paw her in the face sometimes and keep her in line haha
thanks so much for stopping by 🙂
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I love that you’re creeped out by your cat watching you dress. I heard a saying once that you might like, it was something along the lines of ‘Before you wish your pets could talk, think about what they’ve seen…’
Hope she settles down soon!
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*shudder* I never want my cats to be able to talk for precisely that reason. That and it’s one of the creepiest things I can imagine. I’ve decided, however, that if Lola could talk she would have the voice of Barry White. 🙂
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She is just totally lost in admiration of every little thing you do, that’s all. When she comes back she will return as a human, and she will have a blog. And she will write about you. Your best bet is to come back as her cat, with lots of cute fluffy fur and adorable little paws.
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LOL I love this. Thank you so much for sharing.
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Your cat simply loves you:)
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I think your cat and my cats must be part of the same global cat conspiracy. One of mine likes being picked up so much that he’ll wrap himself around my legs so that I’m forced to pick him up to avoid tripping over him.
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