The Decomposition of a Work Week

24 Mar

Yesterday I was so tired at work that I went to the bathroom just to lean up against the cold empty arms of the stall and sneak in 5 minutes of the sweet nectar of sleep.

That’s correct: Yesterday, I fell asleep on the toilet.

Night Jackie is starting to seriously foil the responsible attempts of hardworking, nose-to-the-grindstone Day Jackie.  Up until now it’s been a struggle I have easily balanced; bags under my eyes and unimpressive hair were showing up on Thursdays and it was an easy ride from there to the glorious embrace of Saturday morning sleep time.

But unfortunately, Night Jackie has been taking grip on Tuesday nights – which makes the ride to Saturday a very long and bumpy one.

Thus I found myself seeking slumber in a public restroom.

When I came to, it became obvious to me that this is a declaration of war by Night Jackie.   She is actively working againt my new requirements as a member of adulthood.    After a brief reflection, it is clear that I have slowly worked into a pattern of drowsiness and grumpery caused by her habits.

After some costly third-party analysis, I was able to pull together this breakdown:

The truly unfortunate part is that Night Jackie isn’t even doing anything cool. She’s not a super hero, a socialite or a stripper.  She’s just a regular gal, huddled in the comfort of her home and currently nursing a heavy addiction to Prison Break on Netflix.  What a lame-o.

…I have to go.  I think she heard me and I fear tomorrow’s consequences. 

 


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11 Responses to “The Decomposition of a Work Week”

  1. egills March 24, 2011 at 9:13 am #

    Ha.. every morning is a Thursday for me ( ie wet hair ).
    The night time Eileen is just as bad as your own version, just she doesn’t have as much stamina as yours. I tend to fall asleep from utter exhaustion around 10pm and then growl at the 6.30am alarm.

    Like

  2. Tati March 24, 2011 at 9:18 am #

    I do the same, I feel the same. But my problem is the internet addiction – just searching for a great idea to become rich, instead of getting proper healthy sleep.

    Like

    • Jackie March 26, 2011 at 11:37 am #

      I too waste several daylight hours fantasizing about million dollar ideas 😉

      Like

  3. Renee Davies March 24, 2011 at 9:35 am #

    Haha..I love the self-analysis sketch and the degression by day. Friday’s child looks fried and happy!

    Like

    • Jackie March 26, 2011 at 11:38 am #

      haha thanks – I think it’s charming in that “drawn by a 3rd grader” way.

      Like

  4. arevikd March 24, 2011 at 10:07 am #

    So familiar…. You know we have a picture about a work week in Russia, very funny, but I have no idea how to share it here 🙂

    Like

  5. tinkerbelle86 March 24, 2011 at 11:04 am #

    i did this at work recently after taking too many sleeping tabs the night before, tres embarrasing! great post

    Like

  6. The_Observationalist_NYC March 24, 2011 at 11:12 am #

    Prison Break sounds downright classy, compared to my Sex and the City binge last week.

    Like

    • Jackie March 26, 2011 at 11:39 am #

      haha! uuugh I wish I could draw them out and enjoy the seasons for longer, but I’m such a gulper. I have to have it all at once.

      Like

  7. wordsweneversaid March 24, 2011 at 3:34 pm #

    *chuckle* (over your illustrations – so familiar still)

    I had to start working nights to avoid burn-out – my night persona took over my days long ago.

    Maybe Wed. should be your new Tues.? (that way you can combine ‘wicked’ with ‘suck’ and enjoy the weekend that much sooner?)

    Oh wait – wait – that came out ALL wrong – but I am hitting ‘enter’ anyway.

    Be well,
    M.L.

    Like

    • Jackie March 26, 2011 at 11:42 am #

      I used to work third shift at Sam’s Club stocking Candy (aahaha) and being a child of the night was awesome. Not to mention I didn’t have to deal with any people because the store was closed. It was beautiful. lol thanks for hitting Enter. It would have been a shame to miss out on that. 😉

      Like

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