The Nude Hour

23 Mar

I’m alone in the office this week.

Part of the beauty of being an executive assistant is that executives tend to go on quite a few trips.   And after you’re done pulling your hair out trying to pad their itinerary with so much detail that someone could conk them out and easily steal their life for 3 days, you get to sit back and relish the silence of their absence.

And so there I was yesterday – relishing – when it occurred to me that I really am all alone.  With everyone attached to the conference in my boss’s office out of the picture, there’s just me and a few folks downstairs in the whole department.   And as soon as they decide to go to a meeting or run to lunch, I’m officially the only representing member of our department’s stake in the corporate jungle.

So what, exactly, is stopping me from being nude?

Seriously.

There was only one person outside our department who visited me yesterday and it was to drop off the mail. Since nothing posts to our mail stop until 1:30pm, it’s safe to say that I can expect to be alone until at least that time.   Which means that from 9:00am-1:30pm, I have 4 distinct opportunities to begin what I will dub “the nude hour”.

I thought about just dropping the drawers.  I sit behind a desk all day anyway – a pretty  massive one.  And quite frankly if I pull my office chair in close enough, there’s little chance that anyone would even know I’m sitting there airing out my private lady bits.

I got quite a few phone calls yesterday, but there’s nothing to fear there.  As long as I don’t sound too excitable, there will be no reason for the caller to wonder what’s going on.    And since I already make the majority of my phone calls while I’m on the toilet, I think I’ll ace that test.

So that’s that.  I’ve no reason to go one more day on this earth without being able to say that I’ve been nude in the office. It’s there for the taking.

My path has been made clear before me.

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17 Responses to “The Nude Hour”

  1. Patrecia aka Misswhiplash March 23, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    oooooh you naughty girl!

    when I worked for the Inland Revenue I used to wear a kaftan as it was s much cooler in the Summer but underneath that there was nothing, no bra, no knickers.
    It did feel good… but I would not do it now tho.Then I was only 45-50 years now I am 72 not quite the same.

    Happy days

    Like

    • Jackie March 23, 2011 at 9:04 pm #

      I would argue that at 72, it’s all the more necessary.

      Like

  2. Sarah March 23, 2011 at 10:19 am #

    Do you still take “Lollipop Tuesday” suggestions??? *evil grin*

    Like

    • Jackie March 23, 2011 at 9:04 pm #

      24/7 on the “what’s Lollipop Tuesday” page. 😛

      Like

  3. Jules March 23, 2011 at 12:35 pm #

    Oh lordy. Is this what happens to a person put through the corporate grind or just Jackie being Jackie? (o.o)!

    Like

    • Jackie March 23, 2011 at 9:04 pm #

      that’s an excellent question. even I’m not so sure.

      Like

  4. KristenSays March 23, 2011 at 12:44 pm #

    Well since it’s too late for Lollipop Tuesday, maybe you could dub this “Wicked Wednesday”, and nude away!

    Like

    • Jackie March 23, 2011 at 9:05 pm #

      LOL Wicked Wednesday Series. Could get me into some serious trouble down the road, but I love entertaining the idea 😉

      Like

  5. wordsweneversaid March 23, 2011 at 12:57 pm #

    Ha ha ha!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    *dies laughing*

    If you do it – make sure your boss doesn’t have cameras set up anywhere. (don’t ask how I thought to mention that – just make sure you check)

    Happy Wicked Wednesday! (It sounds like such a good day to have)

    M.L.

    Like

    • Jackie March 23, 2011 at 9:06 pm #

      I’ve been checking, Word. I don’t see any, but who knows if my stapler is actually a webcam?

      …if it is, I’d love to tap that for a live feed on here. 😉

      Like

  6. robinbarr March 23, 2011 at 1:10 pm #

    This brought back great memories of when my boss would be out of town when I was an executive assistant. You are too funny, love your writing.

    Like

    • Jackie March 23, 2011 at 9:06 pm #

      Thanks, Robin! I really appreciate you reading.

      Like

  7. Don't Make That Face March 23, 2011 at 1:51 pm #

    mmmmmm, I don’t know. I’m a nervous nelly, and this has “Catastrophe” written all over it. Things that would happen the minute you drop your pants: 1. you notice the video camera that has been there for years, but you never noticed before; 2. Fed Ex guy comes zooming around your desk for a signature because he’s behind schedule; 3. Fire breaks out and you’re so nervous that you don’t notice your bottomless until you’re standing outside.
    P.S.: Love the pic.

    Like

    • Jackie March 23, 2011 at 9:07 pm #

      On man, Don’t…. how am I suppose to follow through with Wicked Wednesdays with you throwing all this logic and fear at me? 😛

      Like

  8. deenie12 March 23, 2011 at 3:25 pm #

    I love this!! Thank you for the smile and laugh (Jonah Hill is a riot). I say you should go for it. One hour. What a great, great memory and story it would make. 🙂

    Like

    • Jackie March 23, 2011 at 9:10 pm #

      I don’t know… “Don’t Make That Face” has got me all nervous now on the unforeseen circumstances that could abound. Everyone comes back in two days. I must seize the moment or abandon all hope.

      Like

  9. egills March 24, 2011 at 9:17 am #

    I’d say just check where the windows are and then go for it.. my desk is next to a low window so anyone walking past can look up

    Like

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