I’m alone in the office this week.
Part of the beauty of being an executive assistant is that executives tend to go on quite a few trips. And after you’re done pulling your hair out trying to pad their itinerary with so much detail that someone could conk them out and easily steal their life for 3 days, you get to sit back and relish the silence of their absence.
And so there I was yesterday – relishing – when it occurred to me that I really am all alone. With everyone attached to the conference in my boss’s office out of the picture, there’s just me and a few folks downstairs in the whole department. And as soon as they decide to go to a meeting or run to lunch, I’m officially the only representing member of our department’s stake in the corporate jungle.
So what, exactly, is stopping me from being nude?
There was only one person outside our department who visited me yesterday and it was to drop off the mail. Since nothing posts to our mail stop until 1:30pm, it’s safe to say that I can expect to be alone until at least that time. Which means that from 9:00am-1:30pm, I have 4 distinct opportunities to begin what I will dub “the nude hour”.
I thought about just dropping the drawers. I sit behind a desk all day anyway – a pretty massive one. And quite frankly if I pull my office chair in close enough, there’s little chance that anyone would even know I’m sitting there airing out my private lady bits.
I got quite a few phone calls yesterday, but there’s nothing to fear there. As long as I don’t sound too excitable, there will be no reason for the caller to wonder what’s going on. And since I already make the majority of my phone calls while I’m on the toilet, I think I’ll ace that test.
So that’s that. I’ve no reason to go one more day on this earth without being able to say that I’ve been nude in the office. It’s there for the taking.
My path has been made clear before me. ♣