I’ve lost my boyfriend.
I didn’t even lose him to a woman. I feel like if I did, I could maybe still have shot with him. Maybe he could have just lost his way and we could have worked it out.
But unfortunately I’ve lost him to an iPad 2. And as we all know, losing anyone to an iAnything is the end of that person as we know them.
The really strange thing for me is that Dave is such a hippie. The man walks around in his bare feet whenever possible, dresses like an upper-class hobo, and is never spotted without his guitar. Lately he’s been going with the “less is more” attitude and slowly trying to weed out and donate unnecessary possessions. And while he’s always been computer-savvy, he’s never really been all that plugged in. At one point he had something like a thousand unread messages in his email and he only briefly visited Facebook. So to have had him on his iPad every moment since his parents gave it to him for his birthday has thrown me for a bit of a loop.
Even as I sit here, he stares lovingly into its cold, calculating screen while I sit on the couch alone – a warm, unimpressive bag of flesh.
The really hard-hitting part is that I don’t think I can call him a hippie anymore. An iPad2 is so cutting edge right now. And with its use, he’s linked into to the cutting edge crowd. He’s supposed to be a woodsman – a vagabond- a walker of the earth. So unless he only uses his newfound piece of technological beauty to order organic groceries, organize protests, and check out sweet guitar tabs, I’m not so sure he fits the stereotype anymore.
And since he just downloaded Angry Birds, I think it’s a done deal.
You know what? It’s okay. His parents are leaving this afternoon and headed back home, which means we will no longer be going out to restaurants to eat. Eventually, Dave will get hungry. And eventually, he’ll have to communicate with me so that I produce food for him. Because even though the iPad has well over 60,000 and counting,
there isn’t an app for that. ♣