Oh My Darlin’ Clementine…

13 Jun

Day two on the homefront; my cat population is still cut in half.

Lola is loving it.  Absolutely soaking it up.  She’s rolling around, stark white belly fur to the ceiling and cares to the wind.  I keep trying to get the information out of her but she just stares at me.

I think she knows.

I’ve been thinking: maybe the whole rapture thing was kind of well-calculated.  Maybe it really did happen but a few weeks too late and it only applied to cats.   Maybe I’ve experienced some sort of cat rapture.  

Lola must be filled to the brim with sin.

It’s been suggested by one of your fellow readers that the drug lords have taken Hobbes.  Perhaps as ransom for my silence.  I’ve been waiting around for them to call me and make their demands, but they haven’t.  Maybe they’re trying to make me sweat it out a little longer.

I went the traditional route, too, you know.  I’ve been around the inside and outside of the apartment several times.  Too many times, probably, for someone who likes to think of themselves as sane.  Too many times for someone who is a licensed driver, anyway.   I remembered this one time when I was little that we lost my cat for like, a week.  An entire week she just wasn’t around.  Then one day my brother opened his sock drawer and there she was.  Scared the living bejeezus out of him.    It raised a lot of questions.  Like didn’t she ever get hungry.  Or was she only in there part of the time.  And why didn’t my brother need clean socks more often than once a week.

But I checked the dresser.  I pulled out all the drawers.  I’ve checked every tiny little place that he might be able to fit his tiny little head and there’s no Hobbers.  No Hobbesy.  No Hobbesinator.

So here I am, making light of it.  Not because I’m heartless, but actually because I’m incredibly distraught over the whole thing and I can’t seem to muster up a topic that doesn’t have to do with my missing cat.

Plus, it’s really just ripe for comedy.  I mean, I almost started off this post making a joke about how I’m only at half cat-pacity.  Ah ha! HA!   Heh.  *ahem*  But I didn’t.

At least I still have some wits about me.



photo by "foxtongue" Click image to check out their Flickr PhotoStream.



22 Responses to “Oh My Darlin’ Clementine…”

  1. Jessica June 13, 2011 at 9:11 am #

    I’m so sad for you! My kitties are my “kids” and I would be going out of my mind if one went missing. I hope he turns up ok.


    • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:20 pm #

      Yeah, I’m having a rough time with it – but hey… I figure he’s either in the apartment somewhere and he’ll turn up or he’s out in the great wide open fulfilling all his dreams. 🙂


  2. misswhiplash June 13, 2011 at 9:20 am #

    I shall pray fro the return of Hobbes. It worked when my cat went missing a month ago so maybe I can long distance my prayers!

    I know how it feels when you lose a cat, even though we got ours back after a week he was badly damaged and now has only 3 legs.
    Keep smiling , keep looking and I will keep praying. BUT tell us when he returns otherwise answered prayers could result in you getting all the stray cats in the neighbourhood.

    love P


    • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:19 pm #

      Yes! Psychic powers + prayer + lost cat success stories has to equal an eventual Hobbes showing, right? Aww poor kitten getting beat up by the world. How terrible for him to come back so damaged. So glad he was all right though. 🙂 Thanks so much for the kind words and thoughts.


  3. Seasweetie June 13, 2011 at 9:32 am #

    Oh no – I was so optimistic for him yesterday! I’ll see if I can attune my psychic powers to find him…


    • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:18 pm #

      Me too. Do it! Let me know what you turn up. All I got was him in a dream last night. And he didn’t tell me where he was 🙂


  4. wordsweneversaid June 13, 2011 at 9:37 am #

    I am always terrified one of my cats will go missing.

    When I was living in an apartment one of my cats escaped off the balcony one day – just gone – I was frantic for days looking for her…

    It turned out that she had gotten spooked by something after she plopped off the balcony and instead of waiting for me to go down and scoop her up as usual, she had scratched a hole in the kitchen window screen of the apartment below us and made her way into their pantry cupboard.

    She was returned safe, hungry and thankfully NOT full of kittens (we had four cats at the time and I’m not sure what I would have done with another pile of cute to feed)

    My advice is to try the neighbors.

    Good luck – I will pray for Hobbes safe return.



    • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:17 pm #

      Awww these lost cat stories are just too cute. 🙂 Thank you so much for sharing! And for the prayers 😀


  5. pegoleg June 13, 2011 at 9:46 am #

    Hope Hobbes shows up today, with a cat-that-got-the-canary grin on his face and none the worse for wear.


    • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:16 pm #

      not yet. maybe tomorrow? or maybe I need to take a note from my readers and start deconstructing my apartment 🙂


  6. egills June 13, 2011 at 10:25 am #

    I hope he turns up soon.. one of mine would go off for weeks on end driving me to distraction and when I’d finally given up hope he’d waltz back in as if he’d never been away!


    • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:15 pm #

      Was he an outdoor cat? I’ve never had one of those – I can’t bear the thought of cars!


  7. lexy3587 June 13, 2011 at 10:45 am #

    hopefully he turns up soon. I can understand the urge to try to stay calm by making light of things… I don’t think anyone really thinks you’re being too indifferent about your cat being missing.
    I house-sat for a week without seeing more than brief flashes of cat-tail once. Poor inky black cat was not impressed by my replacing her owner (even temporarily), and hid from me with the skills of a cat the colour of shadows. The only way I knew she was there was by the fact that I continued having to clean out the litter, and refill the water and food dishes… though for a time, i was genuinely convinced she’d phased through a wall and into another apartment.


    • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:15 pm #

      Thanks, Lexy. I wonder if maybe I’ll open the door one day and he’ll just be there to greet me. Or if I’ll start hearing mewing. Oh man, I’d love to hear some mewing. Here’s hoping 🙂


  8. Jules June 13, 2011 at 12:52 pm #

    My tomcat pulled a vanishing act similar to yours a few months ago. He would always return so I wasn’t too worried, but the strange part is how I found him.

    You see, this guy has a spare (guest) bedroom all to himself and we keep all his cat necessities there. We had an out of town guest staying over for a few days, so obviously the room had to be arranged nicely. That’s when I realized Mr. Humongo wasn’t around, because if he heard his dry food being moved about, he’d show up guaranteed. Instead it was replaced by this muffled meow’ing. I swear to Jebus that it was emanating FROM THE WALLS. The only place he could hide was the closet and it was empty! So here I was, lying down in the newly prepared guest bed, feeling defeated and hopelessly trying to solve how he managed to crawl in there.

    To be continued…


  9. Renee Mason June 13, 2011 at 2:19 pm #

    I’m not sure if this will make you feel more hopeful or not? Last year, one of my ‘girls’ (an indoor kitty if there ever was one!) vanished without a trace. She was terrified of the great outdoors and wouldn’t even sit on a window ledge, for fear of tumbling out. Four days later I heard mewling of mysterious origins coming from a guest room. It took several hours to determine the cries seemed to be emanating from inside the wall. That silly cat had somehow gotten into the attic of the house and had fallen down between the wall studs and the sheetrock. A carpenter had to come and break open the wall to let the mortified, chagrined, and thoroughly chastened little beastie out of her prison. Other than wounded pride, she was unharmed! Or, conversely, Hobbes could just be down at your local bar; have you checked to see if your debit card is missing?!?!


    • wordsweneversaid June 13, 2011 at 4:04 pm #

      OMG!!! Had something like that happen here where I am now too!!!!

      Here it was the basement cold air return – a rescue kitty we have (she is FEARLESS!) crawled up into the basement rafters during an ‘after the ex left’ reno…

      She got herself into the duct-work and we had to take apart the basement ducts to get her out.

      (Her name is Zoe btw)

      Hobbes is probably too smart for that – he seems like a man of the world…



      • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:12 pm #

        Whoa. You had to take apart your house to find her?! …maybe I need to start deconstructing…


    • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:13 pm #

      Awwwwwwwwww that’s so sad! And oh my goodness your wall! What a lovely little rescue story that is. She must have been so frightened. 😦 Thank you for sharing!
      And my wallet is all in check. He was never much of a drinker 😉


  10. KristenSays June 14, 2011 at 10:34 am #

    did you check with those girl neighbors? maybe they’re holding him hoping “prince dave” will come visit again…. strumpets i tell ya!


    • Jackie June 16, 2011 at 12:48 am #

      I’d be lying if I pretended I hadn’t thought of that. I stooped low. Real low.


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