Amber Alert

12 Jun

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I seem to have misplaced my cat.

It was at dinner time last evening that I realized I had completely neglected to feed my cats breakfast.  For some reason it completely evaded me and I wasn’t given a reminder by the always-hungry Lola.   So after expecting both cats to come racing for their first meal of the day and then place a call to the Humane Society against me, I was surprised to find that Hobbes was missing in action.

He’s a pretty lazy cat, so I assumed he had moved to a nice cool space to sleep the day away.  That, or he was boycotting me and my affection since I have the ability to entirely forget to feed him.   But I couldn’t find him anywhere.  No nook, no cranny, no crevice.   He is nowhere to be found.  

I am truly boggled by this.  I have the door to my apartment shielding access to the labyrinth-like hall and then there’s another door that blocks the way to the big, bad, outside world.   In order to be completely missing, he would have had to get out the door without me noticing (which is difficult since I’m always right at the door when it’s open) and then somehow wander the halls without being noticed until he could slip out the main door as well.

There are a few options that could be at play here.  First, perhaps he’s still in the apartment.  I’ve checked every single negative space three times over.  Drawers, high surfaces, beneath furniture, inside totes, in the pots and pans cabinets – everywhere.    I don’t think this is likely unless he was suddenly incredibly sick and did that crawl-int0-a-tiny-crevice-to-die thing.  Which would be tragic.

Second – perhaps he was stolen.  Snatched in the night.  Maybe he sneaked out my apartment door and some neighbor who had always wanted a cat but not had the opportunity to get one saw it as a sign that he was meant for them.  Perhaps Hobbes is nestled sweetly on someone else’s bed eating someone else’s cat food, while the neighbor neglects to call the number listed on his collar.

Or third – he could have actually made it outside.  This is the least preferable.  Though he is a lover of the outdoors, he is such only by observation.  When we have taken him outside in celebration of his wildcat roots, he promptly lies down in the sun and is inactive.   The sun has a sort of koala-meets-eucalyptus effect on him where he is rendered passive and incapable of action.  But I have checked all immediate areas outside my complex and found cats of all shapes and sizes – none of which were him.

So I am minus one cat and truly baffled as to how it happened.   I’m trying not to be too sad about it right away – I put up a poster in our apartment so that if the second option was correct, someone might have a change of heart and return him.  If I don’t hear anything in a few days I will be so very heartbroken for his poor, incapable, furry self.  I would take solace in the fact that it’s springtime and he could be out getting frisky with the sexy neighborhood felines, but alas he is a eunuch.    So here’s hoping he returns.

And that this isn’t indicative of a problem I’ll have keeping track of my offspring someday

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12 Responses to “Amber Alert”

  1. Slippers June 12, 2011 at 10:06 am #

    Listen Hobbes, I’m an outdoor cat so I certainly can have an opinion on this subject. I also lived with you back in your young days so I think you could actually call me an expert. You will not make it out there. Get back into your warm comfy bed with Mommy and Daddy and your bowl of food that’s filled every day. Having to hunt and kill a fresh meal is nothing like chasing a little green dot around a climate-controlled apartment.

    So listen buddy, we might not have gotten along during our co-habitation, but you are a pretty cool cat, so I hope you get back safe and sound.

    -Slippers the Cat

    P.S. When you do return bring your mommy back a dead squirrel and place it in her doorway. I did that once. It went over really well.

    Like

    • Jackie June 12, 2011 at 1:23 pm #

      🙂 🙂 🙂 Thanks, Slippers.

      Like

  2. Jules June 12, 2011 at 11:57 am #

    I can haz freedom?

    Just make sure to keep your phone nearby. You don’t want that ransom demand to go on voicemail. 🙂

    Like

  3. Seasweetie June 12, 2011 at 12:15 pm #

    Gak! I am sorry. Hobbes is perhaps out seeking his Calvin, but I will hope that he’s found a truly unique place in the apartment (and not gotten stuck). I’m sure you’ve checked the undersink cabinet? And back behind the pots/pans/washing machine sized things, etc.? In your dresser drawers? You know they get in there sometimes unnoticed and you close the drawer and two days later hear a pitiful mewing? Please keep us posted and I will send cat-seeking juju in your direction.

    Like

    • Jackie June 12, 2011 at 1:19 pm #

      Thanks for the juju – checked every nook and cranny I could think of. Have even been on the roof and wandering the streets. Le sigh.

      Like

  4. Tara June 12, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

    Jackie! Look at the facts. You’ve been onto three different drug operations, and have publically announced this. I am guessing you will get a call sometime soon with demands for silence, secrecy, and tissue box smuggling. DO NOT NEGOTIATE!
    Stay strong Jackie. Stay strong.

    Like

    • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:21 pm #

      Tara, you are so right. So very right. I’ve brought this on myself. Of course, Hobbes is Dave’s cat and Lola is mine so it seems like a strange workaround for them but what do they know – they’re drug lords. I’ll stay by my phone, but if I hear a faint meow on the other end I don’t know how long I’ll stay strong 🙂

      Like

  5. KristenSays June 12, 2011 at 7:24 pm #

    oh jackie i can so feel your pain right now! but as the owner of 4 indoor cats, i am sure he has to be in the apartment somewhere. i’ve “lost” my cats before, only to find them in a place i had already looked 3 times. keep looking! then look again! Good Luck and keep us posted!!!!

    Like

    • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:20 pm #

      Okay – because of you I just checked my entire basement AGAIN. haha 🙂 Thanks for the encouragement!!

      Like

  6. Louie June 13, 2011 at 4:13 pm #

    Awe…..Hobbs. I miss you. Okay so maybe we don’t get along very well but I want you to come see me from time to time so we can both chase the green lazer around. Come back…PLEASE. I need to know my little brother is safe and sound even if I am bigger than you and can kick the tar out of you. Tell Momma to let me know when you are back safe and sound. I will just lay here next to the computer so I gett the message as soon as you are back. Lola misses you too I’m sure.

    Like

    • Jackie June 13, 2011 at 9:12 pm #

      Thanks Louie. He really hates you, but maybe your exposed sense of concern will trigger something in him. 🙂

      Like

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