There Is No Jackie. There Is Only Mindee.

8 Jul

Last night I did something daring: I called my old creditor.

Calling an old creditor is not unlike calling an ex boyfriend.  You sincerely doubt it will help anything and are actually pretty sure it will just end badly with you nursing a box of Tastykakes in the fetal position, but you can’t help picking up the phone and trying to see what can come of it.  

I’d take a moment to tell you about why I was calling, but it turns out that the archives from my old blog (4 years old, to be precise) put it quite nicely.  This is an excerpt of my life outlook just after I joined credit counseling:

“I’d like to think that the automatic withdrawal that takes the wind right out of my gut each month is actually flying off to some magical land with ponies and bon bons where it is multiplied by small leprachauns who love me and understand the mistakes of my past and thus decrease my debt by a severe fraction of its original sum. Unfortunately, it just goes to some jerks who want me to pay 15 dollars for a 5 dollar pizza I bought in 2005.

 

Yeah, I’ll admit it: the bulk of my credit card debt is food. And clothes I bought because I got fatter and needed some. Yes. I’m paying three times as much on items that did nothing but hurl me into a fat depression. Once upon a time I ate an entire Freschetta pizza and a pint of Ben and Jerry’s every night for dinner and I won’t be able to forget it for another four years. It’s justice in a disturbing and dirty form.”  -me, circa 2007
 
 
There are a few things to take away from this.  First, I didn’t spell leprechaun correctly.  That’s upsetting.   Second, I have a longstanding unhealthy relationship with food.  That’s obvious.  I don’t think I’m fooling anybody there.   
 
But the  third and only relevant part is how frustrated I was with my credit situation, which required me to be in credit counseling thanks to poor college spending and a little card that paid for everything so that I didn’t have to.  As a result, here I am in 2011 calling a creditor with a delinquency and begging forgiveness.   It feels dirty.  It feels low.  But last night over the phone, I got Lucy the Credit Sorceress to open up to me about her deep-seated secrets of debt forgiveness.    She laid out a plan that is fail proof for getting a nasty note off my credit report from about 5 years ago and sprinting forward in delight of my shiny, new, improved credit score.
 
I really hate doing stuff like this.  I hate calling people, I hate talking about stupid rules that humans have put on themselves to make each other miserable over things that don’t matter but will make you absolutely want to kill yourself if you don’t pay them mind once in a while (credit, day jobs, taking showers).  So in order to make the experience more bearable for me, I whip out Mindee.
 
Mindee is a little character I put on when I have to do things I don’t feel like doing.  She loves people, she loves rules, and she just wants everyone to get along.  She’s super chipper, super considerate, and super smart, and when I use her on the phone, she’s infectiously pleasant and efficient.  She gets Comcast to reimburse my bill, she gets angry customers to relax and breathe, and she gets Lucy the Credit Sorceress to unlock the ironclad vaults of my credit history to make revisions.  
Now I know you’re asking yourself whether I’ve developed a strange psychological issue, and the answer is that yes, perhaps I have.  But I’d also argue that you would be far more effective in life if you would also consider creating your own Mindee.  Think about something you absolutely hate doing and then conjure up an example of the kind of person who loves doing that thing and is incredibly effective at it.  Then pretend to be them and tackle the problem.  Return to your natural form and assess your results.
 
Really – try it out.  You might slowly lose your mind and blur the worlds of yourself and your alter ego, but that’s totally fine so long as you’re accomplishing everything you need to accomplish in your adult life because let’s face it – no one really stays sane throughout.
It’s a classic case of ‘fake it til you make it’ and it’s basically what’s running my life right now.  
 
I’m not even sure anymore how much of me Mindee owns by now, but she sure is doing a great job getting my credit sorted out lately while the real Jackie is curled up somewhere playing World of Warcraft and eating Freschetta pizza and Ben and Jerry’s. ♣
 
Today’s RAK: A Get Well Effort
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10 Responses to “There Is No Jackie. There Is Only Mindee.”

  1. Lori July 8, 2011 at 9:25 am #

    Thankfully I’m a research assistant again this fall, but the day they put me in a classroom full of college undergraduates is looming in my future. When this day comes, you and I will have to discuss my inner Mindee.

    Like

  2. pegoleg July 8, 2011 at 10:05 am #

    I believe Mindee was Sybil’s first true friend. But you go with what works for you.

    Like

    • Jackie July 9, 2011 at 6:17 pm #

      Sadly, I had to Google this. And now it’s in my Netflix queue. Thanks 😛

      Like

  3. thesinglecell July 8, 2011 at 12:33 pm #

    Smoke ’em if ya got ’em. If Mindee helps you get stuff done and be effective and not have total nervous breakdowns, then for the love of Ben & Jerry, use her to the fullest. And more power to you! Good for you, tackling the things that are difficult for you! That’s to be commended!

    Like

    • Jackie July 9, 2011 at 6:14 pm #

      Thanks 🙂 I’ll certainly have to whip her out for the entire day tomorrow, when I attempt to conquer my next Lollipop Adventure 😉

      Like

  4. knotrune July 9, 2011 at 5:50 am #

    That’s a really good idea. Perhaps I should try that. 🙂

    Like

    • Jackie July 9, 2011 at 6:12 pm #

      give it a go – let me know if it works our for you 😉

      Like

  5. Tammy July 10, 2011 at 6:05 am #

    I like this idea. I may have to made my own MIndee to get through work for the next few weeks….working beside someone who is totally unbearable is too much stress for me. Maybe this idea will help me out!

    Like

    • Jackie July 17, 2011 at 3:54 pm #

      lol do it! make up a person who would LOVE that person, and try to be them as an experiment.

      Like

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