I’m Seven Weeks and Craving Butterfingers

2 Sep

Okay, let’s talk about it.  It’s time to talk about it.

I am so completely done with the “breast cancer awareness” updates on Facebook.

Have you seen this? Have you heard of this?

Every so often, in the name of what people call “breast cancer awareness”, women private message each other a chain letter of sorts that tells them to update their Facebook status with something incredibly ambiguous that makes men wonder what the heck is going on.  It will be something like ‘write what your shoe size is, followed by a sad face”.  So all over Facebook you see women with things like “9 inches :(“.  Which, while hilariously making men doubt the adequacy of their God-given twig and berries, does absolutely nothing to help breast cancer awareness.

I’m gonna go out on a limb and say that no one looked at those status updates and figured it was about time they go get a mammogram or donate money in the name of breast cancer research.

There have been bra color updates.  There have been “I like it on the” updates, where ladies inserted where they put their purses and it sounded instead like a sexual innuendo.   And there’s the most recent: “I’m at ______ weeks and craving ______” wherein the first blank corresponds with the month of your birthday and the second is a candy bar that corresponds with the day (list comes in the chain mail). 


It’s like the time that everyone updated their profile pictures to cartoons in the name of Child Abuse Awareness.


Anyway, I’m tired of it.  Like, super tired of it.  I don’t like the chains getting forwarded to me, I don’t like how snarky the messages are about men, and I don’t like how the most recent brainchild makes it look like every single woman is pregnant online.  

I’m a little scared to mention anything, really.  It’s kind of like the  mafia.  You get these messages with privileged information and you’re told not to tell men under any circumstances.   I’m a little afraid that in exchange for my post on this subject, women dressed in all black will show up to my apartment in the middle of the night and smother me in my sleep.

So listen  – even if they come for me, I want you to know that my judgment of stupidity shall not be silenced.  Ignore the status updates.  Please, let’s just all stop it.  If we really want to spread a message in the name of breast cancer awareness, why don’t we grab a couple friends and say if I donate, you donate? Or update your status about the next running, walking, flying, or trapeze-ing marathon so people can be aware and participate?

Listen, I have to stop now – an angry woman is approaching my doorstep and I fear she knows.

If I don’t post tomorrow, know that I have not been smothered in vain.  Just make up some stupid viral Facebook status in my honor.

Those seem to be effective. 

I feel aware now.


55 Responses to “I’m Seven Weeks and Craving Butterfingers”

  1. Sarah T. September 2, 2011 at 10:59 am #

    I love you Jackie and this is why you shall remain a Facebook friend – you don’t fill my feed with crap.


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 5:00 pm #

      Well I’m sure sometimes I do 😛


  2. Jules September 2, 2011 at 11:13 am #

    Amen to this. Chain letters are so… 90’s? I thought only teenagers participated in this kind of shenanigans. I’m not even going to start ranting about the hypocrisy of _______ cancer awareness, but I feel compelled to say something.

    Look people. Whether it’s breast cancer or colon cancer, cancer is cancer. No cherry picking and absolutely no favoritism. Boobies are not an exception.

    k? thx.


  3. misswhiplash September 2, 2011 at 11:15 am #

    I think most of us would agree with every word you said… It is above and beyond the realms of sanity why stupid people play stupid games and write stupid things.
    I still have my FB page but only just. I have a quick look now and then and that is my lot.

    From the heading i thought…Oh No she can’t be! so I was relieved to read the post


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:55 pm #

      haha no, no… and I didn’t even do it correctly. Apparently butterfingers aren’t even on the list. Wah wah.


  4. Doctor42 September 2, 2011 at 11:28 am #

    I absolutely and wholeheartedly agree! I also intensely dislike the “blah blah… 90% of you won’t repost this” statuses!


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

      oh yes. oh yes those are a post in themselves.


  5. wtfhappenedtomyreallife September 2, 2011 at 11:50 am #

    I really detest this one for this year….Last year it was all “wtf is that all about?” but this year that I have had a hysterectomy and finalized the fact that I will never give birth to another baby after having 1 and losing 9….well this year’s rash of statuses just hurts me. They don’t think when they do that kind of stuff that it could possibly be mocking or making light of something that is a deep emotional wound for someone.

    Should we start a miscarriage awareness and post the color of our socks and our favorite ice cream flavors? Seriously it has gotten out of hand. I am not participating this year…not that I did last year either but on principle i am not participating this year.


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:51 pm #

      losing 9? Wow, real – congratulations on your success with your little one. How hard the path must have been for you. Thanks for stopping by and sharing and best wishes for your little one’s good health 🙂


      • wtfhappenedtomyreallife September 3, 2011 at 5:47 pm #

        Thanks. He is actually 13 this year and being a typical teenager. He doesn’t understand but he will always be my baby no matter how old he gets or how much taller than me he gets (he is almost my height now and I am 5’5″). There was one before him and the rest were after. All with the same bad boyfriend too….should have listened to mother nature sooner, methinks.


  6. flip flop mama September 2, 2011 at 12:24 pm #

    Found your blog when I was searching for details on the FB thing. I so wholeheartedly agree with the stupidity. I’m glad I’m not the only one!


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:50 pm #

      Well I certainly appreciate you stopping by and reading!


  7. Missjlouise September 2, 2011 at 1:09 pm #

    THANKYOU FINALLY…. Im getting so fed up with all FB crap


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:49 pm #

      Wouldn’t it be cool if every time I posted about something that annoyed me, everyone stopped doing it?

      Of course if that were true, Facebook would have completely revolutionized itself by now and this post wouldn’t exist…


  8. Lori September 2, 2011 at 2:01 pm #

    Great post and a valid complaint. Some sociologists like to call this slacktivism: http://thesocietypages.org/sociologylens/2010/01/11/facebook-slacktivism-some-perspective/


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

      Hey thanks for the link – that’s a very interesting article. And my site stats show a lot of other folks are interested too. Cool beans.


  9. Lori September 2, 2011 at 2:07 pm #

    Check it out. I signed up for a gravatar (just what I need, another account on the internet) and now my lovely mugshot shows up when I post a comment 🙂


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:48 pm #

      YAY! Look at your faaaace.

      Hey the good news is that Gravatar requires absolutely no maintenance.


  10. Lian September 2, 2011 at 2:58 pm #

    So annoying right? Like men aren’t allowed any breast cancer awareness, or to donate any money for that matter… Ugh


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:47 pm #

      True – if the argument is that it does increase awareness somehow or can in some way be tied to action – what’s with the “screw the men” thing?


  11. Samantha September 2, 2011 at 3:07 pm #

    Right? It’s ridiculous how many people actually do it too…and not think, “hey, this sounds terrible and has nothing to do with anything but making myself sound questionable. :/


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:46 pm #

      Hopefully it will go away. I really hope it does. Or that someone finds a way to tie it to action. That would be cool.


  12. lunarmoth September 2, 2011 at 3:23 pm #

    I enjoyed your post, especially the rubber duck picture! 🙂 I seem to escape most of the FB breast cancer and other “awareness” posts, but emails are another story. The ones I dislike the most are the “Christian” chain emails that imply if I don’t send it on to 20 people in the next 60 seconds, I must not be a “real” Christian. Give me a break! Who gave them the right to judge my religious sincerity? I don’t have to send stupid emails to prove anything; it’s between me and God, anyway.


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:45 pm #

      Oh I indeed share disdain for the status chain emails that insist you don’t care if you don’t donate your status. Most especially the Christian Crazies statuses. My heart dies a little every time I see an unfortunate trend form among “Christians”. That’s what the world sees, and that’s what turns them off.


  13. Amy September 2, 2011 at 3:52 pm #

    Hate. Hate so much smoke is coming out of my ears. And all the stupid replies! “Oh my GAWD Laurie! You’re PREGNANT AGAIN??? I’m your BFF why didn’t you TELL ME???” Give me a BREAK, please. One person is in her MID-SIXTIES and posted this nonsense. She isn’t pregnant. Yet people were all “What? A late-in-life baby! What a happy surprise!” No. Just, no. STOP. Please, please stop. Ugh. Loved your post. Thank you for being one of the sane ones!


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:44 pm #

      lol Thanks, Amy. I appreciate you stopping by.


  14. pegoleg September 2, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

    I’m so clueless I didn’t even notice those statuses. But the “if you love babies post this on your status for the day..” things make me insane, almost as much as finding out how much time a certain “friend” is spending online farming.


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:43 pm #

      uuuuugh “if you know someone who has ____________ or has been affected by ________________, post this in your status for at least an hour and get 40 of your friends do to the same. If you don’t, YOU’RE INHUMAN”.

      Terrorist tactics.


  15. Marylou September 2, 2011 at 7:57 pm #

    Just thought I’d give you my whole-hearted support and accordance with your opinion. ❤


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

      And you left a cute little heart! How lovely!


  16. Stormy September 2, 2011 at 8:03 pm #

    Frankly, it’s a little game. Pure & simple. I do not consider it to be related to pregnancy. I just consider it a fun little thing to do. And, again frankly, in this world of crap and hate and bigotry and sadness, why can’t people just do a little something that’s fun? If you don’t like the things on your FB, then turn off your newsfeeds! Stop being judgmental! Thousands of people donate and still play these so called “stupid” games. For crying out loud…LIVE AND LET LIVE! (Shocker: even people with breast cancer play these little games. Let them have a little bit of fun for crying out loud!)


    • Dale Stocks Clement Kenyon September 3, 2011 at 11:13 am #

      Well Said, I agree with you.. I am tired of hearing about someones new vacuum cleaner.. or the dinner they got a recipe from.. or the trip they are taking but to add a little laughter into our lives is worth all the gold in the world.. Why don’t people just look at themselves and see that the vacuum is far less worthless then the human who is suffering from an illness like cancer etc.. get a life people listen to what Stormy wrote about.. Wake up America……


      • Jules September 3, 2011 at 11:34 am #


        Here we are on a comment section of a blog on the internet, discussing annoyances of facebook. You’re very entitled to whatever opinion you maybe have, but I really don’t think you’re in any position to be telling anyone to “get a life”.

        Jus sayin.


      • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:53 pm #

        I don’t think the activity I blogged about is doing anything to increase awareness or draw attention to sufferers. It’s just making everyone think people are pregnant. Are you honestly implying that America needs to wake up and start participating in this instead of saying ‘hey – I don’t think this is helping the cause? it just seems like a game?’

        I’m confused by you.


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:42 pm #

      I think that to deny the most recent listing is a pregnancy innuendo is just blatant denial. And for the record, I’m not denying anyone – especially those suffering from cancer – from having fun. I just don’t think it does anything to increase awareness. That’s my opinion – and I do appreciate you stopping by and sharing yours.


      • Amy September 5, 2011 at 10:23 am #

        That’s what I think. How does it raise awareness or benefit cancer? All it does is make others assume someone is pregnant. It didn’t raise any money. We all know breast cancer is bad. I don’t need to pretend to be pregnant and craving candy. And frankly some of those people could just be PMSing instead of pregnant.


  17. Flossie September 3, 2011 at 4:57 am #

    I blogged about this ages ago on another site. It really irritates the hell out of me. I can’t stand the ‘let’s get one over on the men’ thing and I really get fed up with receiving emails from random people I don’t know, just because they don’t know how to turn off the ‘reply to all’ feature when they respond to whoever started the chain. I mean, fair enough if you want to take part, just don’t email everyone in the list of recipients to tell them your handbag size, or whatever it is they ask for!!!

    They are just the modern version of chain letters. They don’t promote the cause, they are just a nuisance.

    To the person who felt the need to tell you to ‘live and let live’, well, maybe you don’t have that many friends on Facebook. Because if you did, you’d soon get sick of these constant stupid mails/updates!!!


  18. Amy September 3, 2011 at 10:45 am #

    Just wanted to stop and say I agree with you 100%. Thanks for posting this.


    • Jackie September 3, 2011 at 4:38 pm #

      Thanks for taking the time to read 🙂


  19. Amy September 4, 2011 at 8:42 am #

    Thank you! I feel like sometimes posting on Facebook, “Stop the insanity!” I hate some of that status junk. So far I have 2 requests for me to join in and I am not participating. Another thing I hate is “This is Son’s Week” or “This is Daughter’s Week” because it seems like every other week is son’s or daughter’s week. Last time I got fed up with that, I copied it and inserted “Cats” since I don’t have kids. I think I made some family members mad but I just don’t care. I’m sick of some of their posts. 🙂


    • Jackie September 5, 2011 at 5:59 pm #

      LOL oh yeah I’ve gotten a lot of complaints about those updates as well – my least favorite (and also noted by a fellow commenter ) is the “you’re not a Christian unless you repost this” business.

      Your thing with the cats reminds me of the Sex in the City episode where Carrie gets sick of buying stuff for baby showers and weddings and decides that she should have a shower to celebrate herself and get gifts. Cat shower, anyone? 😛


      • Amy September 25, 2011 at 7:09 am #

        My cats would love a shower! Maybe then they would get the crazy-expensive cat tower they need! (to keep them from using the furniture and doors as towers–crazy story) Thanks for the reminder on that episode! I had forgotten it. I wonder where we could register. Hmmmm…They don’t have a Pets R Us. Maybe I should create one and make a gazillion dollars. I’ll send you some for the idea. 🙂


        • Jackie September 25, 2011 at 8:39 pm #

          I got my humble cat tower courtesy of my parents’ moody, fickle cat who was unamused by it. It’s Lola’s absolute favorite thing in the world. There are sits online that can probably walk you through how to build a decent version of your own. Lollipop Tuesday? 😛

          I love the idea of a cat registry. Pet lovers everywhere would love it. You just have to marry it to some sort of event that people an coerce others into buying for.

          That’s for the profit share. Always a fan of free money.


  20. Derick Dobson September 4, 2011 at 10:13 am #

    Uh, good post I guess. Not sure I agree with you 100% but I guess without different views the world would be a pretty boring place ;\


    • Jackie September 17, 2011 at 12:45 pm #

      Fair enough 🙂 Thanks for reading!


  21. iluvtosing1982 September 4, 2011 at 8:56 pm #

    THANK YOU! For one who is at high risk for irregular breast cancer or IBC I totally love you for posting this! Another thing – I didn’t mind doing the purse thing or the bra thing but to fake people out into thinking your pregnant is just dumb. Also their heart is in the wrong place. None of these dumb games actually raise awareness. If you want to do something for breast cancer, participate in a walk, raise money…not post im 3 weeks and craving chocolate cake.


    • Jackie September 5, 2011 at 5:53 pm #

      *puts on a cheerleading outfit* Yeah!


  22. Alicia September 4, 2011 at 10:10 pm #

    I totally agree!!! It’s been driving me crazy–but as you said, I’m afraid of the ladies getting angry in the name of “breast cancer awareness.”


    • Jackie September 5, 2011 at 5:45 pm #

      And they certainly are 😉


  23. Carol September 5, 2011 at 8:03 am #

    I followed a link from Facebook and I agree with this so much I just had to respond. I hate those things because… Well for e wry reason you mentioned. Thanks for being the voice of reason.


    • Jackie September 5, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

      Hey thanks, Carol! I appreciate you stopping by 🙂


  24. Amber Manning September 5, 2011 at 9:49 am #

    Well since the purpose of that post was to get attention for breast cancer,looks like it worked! It’s all anyone is talking about! I lost my mother to the terrible disease&do all I can to raise awareness! Geez,it’s not something meant to be “manbashing” or hurtful!!!! But I could really care less. Guess what-people can post what they want even if others don’t agree with it! I don’t care to see pics of what someones eating for dinner but I don’t bash em for posting it! If you don’t like something,don’t read it&dont post it! But I’m not going to be bashed&threatened b/c I posted something I thought was for a good cause!!!!!! CALM DOWN PEOPLE!!


    • Jackie September 5, 2011 at 5:44 pm #

      I don’t think this post bashed or threatened you in any way. It just disagreed. I actually joked about the threat I felt for speaking my mind on it.

      Also, telling people to calm down in all caps and lots of exclamation points typically has the opposite effect.


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