An Investigation of My Stupidity

8 Sep

I’m absolutely losing my mind.

Gone.  Out the window.  Never to be seen again.

This morning, I wrote up a pleading post on how I wanted the WordPress Wizards to fashion an Undo Button so that I could recover beautiful nuggets of writing that I keep losing over and over again thanks to an oversensitive touchpad and a bad case of trigger finger.

I have looked for this Undo Button several times, while attempting to restore sometimes entire paragraphs of text that gets accidentally highlighted and deleted thanks to my idiocy.

And this morning, directly after I posted my plea to WordPress, I found it.  Right up on the toolbar with a big arrow rotating backwards – the beacon of liberation from moronicness.

Do you have any idea how many times I’ve had to write entire portions of posts over again because I’ve lost them and convinced myself there wasn’t an Undo Button to save me?   Can you possibly fathom how many times I’ve searched over that toolbar praying to the blog gods for something to save me and have entirely missed it each and every time?

I’ve written over 250 posts so far this year and each and every time I’ve needed the Undo Button, my eyes and failed me.  Why? Because Microsoft Word puts it on the left side of the toolbar and WordPress.com puts it on the right. 

I’ve been conditioned to overlook it.

I’m disappointed.  First, because it took me quite a long time to draft a worthless post that went straight to the trash.  And second, because there are entire half-pages of text in the nether that could have been easily recovered if I weren’t so incredibly challenged.

…If I’m disabled, do you think someone will tell me?   Because I’m seriously starting to wonder.  Can I get tested?  Maybe I can go somewhere and have my brain examined.

Oh my goodness -what if I’m just stupid?!  I think I might be stupid and no one ever told me.  After all, I can’t trust good marks in school – schools are starting to grade with smiley faces and pictures of animals and comfort words.  Maybe they just didn’t want to tell me I was a failure.

But alas, I have discovered the truth.  Milk in the cupboard, cereal in the fridge, running into things all the time, and complete forgetfulness of where I am in conversation from time to time. 

I just stare straight forward, like a deer.

This is going to take a while to adjust to.  After all, I didn’t realize I was afflicted.  I saw all the signs, but given the nature of my affliction, I really need someone to just look me in the eye and tell me I’m a moron.

Thank goodness for my trashed post and the enlightenment it gave me.  This has truly been a life-changing day.

Oh, and now I don’t have to worry about not having an Undo Button.  You know, because it’s been there the entire time

Man, that’s a lot to digest before noon.

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24 Responses to “An Investigation of My Stupidity”

  1. misswhiplash September 8, 2011 at 10:01 am #

    Do you really want someone to say it?
    I don’t really want to because you’re a nice person and I like you but if it is really what you want then i will do it…..
    Jackie you are a moron…..

    Please don’t blame me , you asked me to

    • Jackie September 13, 2011 at 8:29 pm #

      I really appreciate your honesty.

  2. Jules September 8, 2011 at 10:01 am #

    Are you eating enough eggs? It’s perfect brain food don-cha-kno.

    • Jackie September 13, 2011 at 8:27 pm #

      Fish and eggs. Fish and eggs. Fish eggs, even.

  3. pegoleg September 8, 2011 at 12:26 pm #

    Look on the bright side – now you can qualify for extra government benefits and a handicap parking pass.

    • Jackie September 13, 2011 at 8:27 pm #

      I don’t know that the mentally handicapped get parking passes. I’d say I’ll look into it, but I imagine anyone intelligent enough to navigate government allowances and restrictions can’t be too incredibly mentally handicapped. It’s a darned if I do, darned if I don’t sort of impasse.

  4. thesinglecell September 8, 2011 at 12:44 pm #

    Fish is brain food. Try that. Also try right-clicking when you accidentally bulk delete entire paragraphs of witty brilliance. I have the same problem. If you right click immediately after you sink your post with dexterity issues, you should get an Undo option that’s built into your computer, rather than the WordPress version. But either way, you’re saved! Woohoo!

    • Jackie September 13, 2011 at 8:25 pm #

      I DO eat fish. This is as good as it gets for me, apparently.

      oooooh I like an Undo button built into the computer. I didn’t know that was..possible?

  5. mistressofpoetry September 8, 2011 at 1:22 pm #

    I’ve done the exact same thing and only tried right clicking, only to discover that wordpress saved my draft immediately after the entire text was deleted all except for one letter. One Letter! I had no idea that there was an undo button either on Word or on wordpress. Now my nerves too can be saved! Thank you so much, Jackie.
    P.S. I don’t consider myself to be a moron, and neither should you. Well, maybe I’m only a part-time moron. 🙂 It’s just human nature to overlook things even when we are desperately searching for them.
    Love ya and look forward to your next post.

    • Jackie September 13, 2011 at 8:25 pm #

      Thanks so much, Miss 🙂 I’m pretty upset to know I’ve lost so many huge chunks of text for no reason other than oversight. But at least future posts are safe 🙂

  6. Tara September 8, 2011 at 1:58 pm #

    This is hilarious! I laughed out loud. Maybe it’s because I relate… Hmm.

    • Jackie September 13, 2011 at 8:24 pm #

      Thanks Tara :/ It was pretty embarrassing. LOL

  7. sanetes September 8, 2011 at 2:19 pm #

    I can’t remember how long it took me to finally find the undo button, less than 250 posts, but still a rather long time. They really hid that thing well!

    • Jackie September 13, 2011 at 8:22 pm #

      I’m so relieved to know that others were vexed by the inability to see. Thanks for stepping forward 😉

  8. SzaboInSlowMo September 8, 2011 at 11:13 pm #

    I’m stupid too, because you just taught me that there IS an undo button. I still didn’t know. Geez, I work in software for a living. Trust me, it’s not that obvious. Thanks for the post…I like it.

    • Jackie September 13, 2011 at 8:13 pm #

      YES!! YES I TAUGHT SOMEONE!! 🙂

      Thank you for the vindication. lol

  9. knotrune September 9, 2011 at 5:54 am #

    Well if you’re stupid, so am I because I was in the same position until I read about it on someone’s blog. Maybe someone ought to point out to the WP team that it is located in an unintuitive place. It’s interesting to see how conditioned we are to where these buttons should be!

    • Jackie September 13, 2011 at 8:12 pm #

      Maybe I can just tweek my initial post and save it for a rainy, postless day. 😛

  10. Emily May September 9, 2011 at 1:10 pm #

    Well, I’ve seen it from day one (not boasting here.) but I can relate in different ways. I never knew about the app you mentioned – WOW – and I have a slight habit of looking for my phone. While I’m talking to my friend… on the phone. I sound like a moron, “Hold on I can’t find my phone, wait a minute please.” WHAT?!

    Must come from my dad..

    • Jackie September 13, 2011 at 8:07 pm #

      LOL I love that you have to apologize so that it doesn’t seem like you’re boasting about your ability to read and see. Hilarious. I often look for something I have in my hands, but never the phone while I’m on it. That’s entirely new. And makes me feel better 😉 Thanks

  11. Bridgesburning Chris King September 9, 2011 at 10:38 pm #

    Oh Jackie you are hilarious and you make losing one’s mind such fun!

    • Jackie September 13, 2011 at 8:01 pm #

      And embarrassing 😉 Thanks for always reading!!

  12. Margie September 14, 2011 at 8:08 pm #

    There is an undo button? Really, WordPress must have put it there after I wrote my post yesterday…

    • Jackie September 15, 2011 at 12:47 am #

      YESSSSS. 🙂

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