How I Almost Went to an Elf Convention

16 Oct

I had the most epic Lollipop Tuesday planned for this coming week.


There’s a billboard near my apartment just by the on-ramp to the highway that advertised the Middle Earth Society, which was slated to have a convention this weekend.  I couldn’t make out too much on the billboard but there was a website listed that I could go to.  Something like

For those of you who are not total losers like myself, Middle Earth refers to Lord of the Rings.  And I fear that some of you may not even know what Lord of the Rings is.  Lord of the Rings is what Dungeons and Dragons was based on.  And Dungeons and Dragons is…

Oh never mind.  Elves and dwarves and things.  Okay?  It’s about elves and dwarves and things.

Anyway, I was incredibly excited for the opportunity to dress up and go to a nerd convention.  Every time I went to look up the details online and gets tickets, though, I didn’t see it on the convention center list or see any blogs or other Internet information alluding to it.  I kept going by the billboard and trying to get more information to make sure I had the dates right, but it’s really positioned in a difficult-to-slow-down area and there was a lot of small font.

Yesterday I slowed way down and tasked Dave with reading the information while I fended off any cursing drivers behind me.  As I glanced to the left to make sure he was reading the right one (there were two), something vital caught my eye: an “s”.

As it turns out, I had just assumed that this convention was for the Middle Earth society because they had a rune-like logo and my mind wanted to read that it was for Middle Earth.

When in fact, it was for the Middle East.

That’s right: The Middle East Society was hosting a convention.    I honestly almost bought tickets and showed up to an academic convention and forum for debate on the state of the Middle East looking like an elf from Middle Earth.

What would I have done in such a situation? Would I have just pulled off my costume ears and excused away the odd garb as part of a culture they obviously don’t understand because they’re clouded by their academic prowess?  Or would I have just slithered home after seeing what I’m sure would be enormous signs welcoming visitors at the convention center to the Middle East Society?

It’s a question that will forever burn in our cerebrums; we shall never know.

Glad I didn’t splurge on that elf getup.

A glimpse of what almost was. Except I would cover up more. Not a lot of plump elves dwelling in Middle Earth, I hear.


9 Responses to “How I Almost Went to an Elf Convention”

  1. Erin McNaughton October 16, 2011 at 2:47 pm #

    Oh, that’s too funny!


    • Jackie October 19, 2011 at 10:32 pm #

      So glad I didn’t buy tickets. Really.


  2. whatimeant2say October 16, 2011 at 9:55 pm #

    OMG! That would have been so perfect! Are you sure you don’t want to try it anyway? I mean, it would still make great blogging material!


    • Jackie October 19, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

      True, true. Peg suggests I’d get publicly stoned though.


  3. mistressofpoetry October 17, 2011 at 6:07 am #

    Looks like you need to host your own convention of sorts, although on a smaller, less expensive scale. Maybe a costume party?


    • Jackie October 19, 2011 at 10:30 pm #

      Hey guys! Come to my nerd party! You can dress as any Middle Earth character you want!



      • mistressofpoetry October 20, 2011 at 12:34 am #

        Hey I’d come if I lived close enough lol… I’m sure I could make a decent hobbit or dwarf, albeit I’m a bit tall for those. 🙂


  4. pegoleg October 17, 2011 at 10:52 am #

    If you showed up at the Middle East convention in that elf outfit, you would have ended up as the 3rd item on the agenda: 10:00 am, Public Stoning of Harlot


    • Jackie October 19, 2011 at 10:29 pm #

      aaahah I love that word. Harlot. Not stoning.


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