A Calling from the WordPress Wizards

7 Nov

*cue angelic choir*

When I sat in from of my magical screen of wonder last night, I didn’t have anything to write about for today.

It’s been a while since that’s happened.  Usually I can at least write a bad post.  But last night I couldn’t even write a bad one.  I just couldn’t write anything.  So I did what I usually do when I have an issue with words, which is go check the drafts I have in my queue to see what half-written posts I’ve abandoned in the past that might be recharged with a bit of go-get’um-ness.

I had ten in there, but they were all turds.

I decided it was time to trash all the ones that couldn’t be saved (which was all of them).  Something about cats (big surprise), something about tweeting Alec Baldwin (it started out well but went horribly wrong), and other terrible gems that I never wanted to read again or risk anyone else reading were in my virtual storage bin of potential.  But when I attempted to delete them, WordPress told me that “there was an error moving them to the trash”.

I figured it was something or other to do with my wavering connection or my own general stupidity so I refreshed the page and attempted again to weed through the failures of my mind.  Again, WordPress denied me the right to purge my duds.

It must be a sign.  Yes.  It’s a sign from the WordPress Wizards that there is hope in these awful little leftovers.  Somehow, the server refuses to let me part with them for fear I’d be giving up the best post I will have written all year long.  One of them might even be viral gold.  Viral gold!  Once I have viral gold, I can do anything!

The problem is, I don’t know which one WordPress wants me to keep.  I mean, there are nine in there.  And on a scale of 1-10, they’re all zeroes.  So how am I supposed to tell which one is the winner?  How do I weed it from the rest?  Do they seriously expect me to expound on all of those subject and publish them? Because I won’t.  It would be blog suicide.

I guess I’ll just have to dwell on my nine half-written turds until one of them takes on a new and vibrant life that will spawn a large, deeply committed following.

I have heard your call, WordPress Wizards, and I shall not give up until I have dressed one of those pieces of trash into something acceptable. Thank you for your faith in me.

Or your server error.  …I’m going to choose to ignore that possibility. 

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19 Responses to “A Calling from the WordPress Wizards”

  1. egills November 7, 2011 at 10:16 am #

    I much prefer your reasoning to the mysteries of WordPress. Having managed to find some time back in here I had a devil of a time just trying to do a new blog. Deep sigh… I know we’re supposed to move forward and all that but do you think they could possibly send out instructions with the changes?

    Like

    • Jackie November 11, 2011 at 1:02 am #

      That would have been nice. But no – you must wade through the murky waters. Good luck. 😉

      Like

  2. pegoleg November 7, 2011 at 12:09 pm #

    WordPress Wizards are very, very mystical. It is not for us mere mortals to question their ways.

    Like

    • Jackie November 11, 2011 at 1:01 am #

      I wonder what their initiations are like.

      Like

  3. Neil C. Reinhardt November 7, 2011 at 5:09 pm #

    Hi Jackie,

    There are two things which, IF you are willing to look into them, you could blog about which can really help others a LOT.

    (Others include birds, animals and reptiles)

    So IF you will email me, I will give you some informantion on them.

    THANKS

    Neil

    Like

  4. Makya McBee November 8, 2011 at 9:20 am #

    Yes. Perhaps you mean that, on a scale of 1 to 10, they are all sixes…as six is the worst number from one to ten. But, more likely, you meant exactly what you said. Sorry.

    Like

    • Jackie November 11, 2011 at 12:48 am #

      I just caught up to replying to this – and the damage has been done. I’ve arrived far too late. This should be a lesson to me to respond to comments faster. I have this nasty habit of letting them go for about a week and then doing them all at once. *Smacks hand with ruler* *changes hands and smacks other hand with ruler*

      I’ve been properly scolded. Catholic style, because it seemed appropriate for this turn of events.

      Like

  5. Neil C. Reinhardt November 8, 2011 at 3:00 pm #

    Gee, would anyone other than a Programmed Religious Robot consider the number SIX to be WORSE than ANY other number between One and Ten?

    I Think NOT!

    And FYI, the ONLY reason MOST people believe in the religion and god they do is simply because of WHO raised them. Raised by Christians, they are Christians.

    Raised by Jews and they are a Jew, The same for Moslems. And OMG, had they been raised by Hindus, or one of the other many religions who believe in in MANY gods, they would then be JUST AS POSITIVE that there ARE MANY
    Gods as they are POSITED THEIR GOD IS THE ONLY REAL ONE!

    The FACTS are, the MAJOR, if NOT the ONLY reason most people who are religious ARE Religious is simply because they were PROGRAMMED to BELIEVE by those who raised them!

    Thankfully, MANY, MANY MILLIONS of the
    FORMERLY religions people (most Christians)
    realize the truth of the above and are NOW Atheists.

    (Like Walt Disney. Twain, Armstrong,
    Pasture, Reeve, Mozart, Edison, Nichelson, Curie, Beethoven, Gates, Tillman and Buffet to name a very, very few of the more famous)

    Of course, were there NO Religion, there would be fewer wars, hardly any Terrorists, NO 9-11, or Crusades or Inquisition or the bombing of the Olympics in Atlanta. GA

    (Or those who deny the facts about Abortions, Evolution, Homosexuals, Stem Cell Research and Comprehensive Sex Education.)

    Like

    • Jackie November 8, 2011 at 3:11 pm #

      Neil! Down boy! 🙂 Makya’s comment was in reference to his post on his lovely and humorous blog this morning, called “Makya Mcbee Vs.”

      Makya posts about his discontent with things and humorously searches for ways to improve them or change them. This morning his post featured “top ten lists” wherein he stated that the number 6 could be omitted entirely because it “doesn’t make him think of anything”.

      It was just a lighthearted comment in the context of the post he had just published. I don’t think it was worthy of an anti-religious geared smackdown. If you’re looking to bash Christianity, sir, I suggest you do so in a forum appropriate for it. I don’t take kindly to unprovoked rants against folks’ beliefs.

      Like

      • Neil C. Reinhardt November 8, 2011 at 3:46 pm #

        REPORTING THE TRUTH IS NOT BASHING!

        Do you think I am a mind reader? A Fortune Teller? Or I have a crystal ball?

        How am I to know his comments were in reference to another blog? All I know is what he said.

        IF I said Moslem Terrorists caused 9-11, am I BASHING them? OR am I simply reporting the FACTS!

        I did NOT say ONE thing which is NOT BOTH THE TRUTH AND A FACT! It is NOT my fault you Religious People can not HANDLE THE TRUTH!

        (And were you not religious, the odds are about 100 percent you would not have commented as you did.)

        Like

        • Jackie November 8, 2011 at 4:03 pm #

          I consider it bashing when you fail to delineate between religion and religious extremism. And the points you have brought to the table, for the most part, are allusions to extremism. I have no interest in debating these matters so let’s just agree to not move further of them; it will do neither of us any service.

          My main point is that your comment was inappropriate and that I don’t appreciate you calling another reader a “programmed religious robot” simply because he made a lighthearted comment on his discontent for 6’s.

          Like

  6. Makya McBee November 8, 2011 at 6:09 pm #

    How deliciously bizarre. I appreciate you defending me Jackie, even if, as you pointed out, the attack itself was wildly erroneous. Neil apparently has a chip on his shoulder (and I ain’t talkin’ Fritos, girlfriend, can I get an amen?…whoops, that word might induce another rant…) It’s funny because I never even considered that one could take that comment as a religious reference. Although I suppose given the appropriate effort, one can take anything anyway they want. And aren’t all robots programmed? Making the phrase, “programmed, religious robot” a little redundant. I wonder what a programmed, religious, robotic robot would look like? I smell a hit sitcom…

    Like

    • egills November 9, 2011 at 7:15 am #

      I’d just ignore Neil – he’s caused problems for some of my other blogging friends in the past.

      Like

      • Neil C. Reinhardt November 9, 2011 at 1:56 pm #

        SORRY JACKIE,

        I CAN’T LET THE COMMENT FROM EGILLS (ONE OF THE SHEEP) GO UNCHALLENGED.

        YEA, MY BEING EXTREMELY TRUTHFUL AND KNOWLEDGEABLE, KNOWING WHAT I’M TALKING ABOUT, DOES CAUSE SOME FOOLS PROBLEMS.

        LIARS LIKE “THE IDIOT SPEAKETH” WHO HAVE NO INTEGRITY, NO MORALS, NO HONESTY, NO ETHICS AND NO HONESTY DO TEND TO GET PUT OUT WITH ME WHEN I PROVE THEY ARE LOW CLASS LIARS!

        (AND THE SHEEP WHO FOLLOW HIM LIKE YOU ARE NO BETTER.)

        WHEN CHILD, YOU ARE NOT ONLY NOTED FOR BEING EXTREMELY TRUTHFUL AND HAVE EVEN BEEN GIVEN A NICK NAME DUE TO YOUR ALWAYS TELLING THE TRUTH,

        AFTER YOU HAVE OTHERS PUBLICLY STATE SAY YOU ARE A “GOOD PERSON WITH A GOOD HEART” AND YOU HAVE A HEART OF GOLD” AND YOU “ARE ONE OF THE MOST HONEST PEOPLE THEY HAVE EVER KNOWN”,

        AFTER YOU’VE SERVED YOUR COUNTRY FOR AS LONG AS I HAVE,(10 YEARS)

        AFTER YOU HAVE BEEN, TWICE, PUBLICLY AWARDED FOR YOUR EFFORTS IN HELPING OTHERS (WHICH WERE BOTH DOCUMENTED BY NEWSPAPER ARTICLES AND PICTURES,)

        AFTER YOU ARE SO GOOD AT YOUR JOB, ONE OF AMERICA’S TOP CORPORATIONS NEEDED TWO PEOPLE TO REPLACE YOU,

        AFTER YOU, MROE THAN A FEW TIMES, HAVE PUT YOUR PHYSICAL WELL BEING AND YOUR LIFE ON THE LINE FOR BLACK CIVIL RIGHTS,

        AFTER YOU’VE BEEN A CARD CARRYING / DUES PAYING MEMBER OF “NOW” WHO WORKED AT GETTING WOMEN THE RIGHTS THEY SHOULD HAVE ALWAYS HAD
        AFTER YOU HAVE BEEN INSTRUMENTAL IN GETTING WOMEN PROMOTED IN TOP 500 CORPORATIONS.

        AFTER YOU HAVE BEEN DRUGGED AND RAPED BY A HOMOSEXUAL, AND THEN SUPPORTED HOMOSEXUALS IN THEIR OBTAINING EQUAL RIGHTS,

        AFTER YOU HAVE REPEATEDLY RISKED PHYSICAL INJURY AND DEATH WHILE HELPING OTHERS AS I HAVE,

        AFTER YOU HAVE SAVED AS MANY LIVES AS I HAVE & AFTER YOU HAVE STOPPED SEVEN CRIMES IN PROGRESS AS I HAVE,
        (THE LAST TWO AT AGE 75 AND 76)

        THEN CHILD,

        YOU CAN TELL OTHERS TO IGNORE ME!

        Like

      • Neil C. Reinhardt November 9, 2011 at 11:28 pm #

        I MADE AN ERROR ABOUT THE NUMBER 6

        SO I AM APOLOGIZING FOR IT.

        THE NUMBER I WAS THINKING IS 666

        Number of the Beast – Wikipedia, the free encyclopedia 666. The Number of the Beast is described in the passage of Revelation 13:15 …

        http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Number_of_the_Beast

        AGAIN, I AM SORRY AND I APOLOGIZE FOR MY ERROR!

        Like

        • Jackie November 11, 2011 at 12:08 am #

          Hey – thanks Neil. That was big of you. Kudos!

          Like

    • Neil C. Reinhardt November 9, 2011 at 7:11 pm #

      JACKIE SAID “I consider it bashing when you fail to delineate between religion and religious extremism. And the points you have brought to the table, for the most part, are allusions to extremism.”

      So Jackie, please explain how ONE sentence about the acts of religious extreamists to be “THE MOST PART” ?

      Well maybe, two sentences, IF you considrer the many Christians who deny the facts about Abortions, Evolution, Homosexuals, Stem Cell Research and Comprehensive Sex Education to be “religious extreamists”

      Like

    • Jackie November 11, 2011 at 12:38 am #

      Crazy beans. Crazy. Beans. By the way, Makya – love your blog. Thank you for writing.

      Like

  7. Neil C. Reinhardt November 11, 2011 at 12:47 am #

    Hi Jackie,

    Thank You.

    I really try to be as accurate and truthful on all things as I can. Of course, I like others, some times have “Brain Freezes” and/or make errors.
    Although I really try to not be wrong on anything
    I comment on, when either someone shows me I am, or I discover it on my own, I most certainly have no problem admitting, and apologizing for it.

    As I think you are a very nice, inttelligent, logical an rational lady, I have high hopes that someday, you will agree with what Diane,
    a nice lady I met in a PUMA forum whose screen name is “Dice” once said to me: It was:

    ——————

    “THANK YOU
    THANK YOU
    THANK YOU
    for being on the Puma forum.

    DON’T listen to those who say ‘your posts border on hostility’

    WE ALL NEED the great dialog which evolves out of your posts no matter how dis-pleasurable they seem to some.

    Your wisdom and insights are Valuable and,they are well read by many who may choose not to post a reply.”

    —————

    P.S. “PUMA” was made up of around 4.5 million Dumocrats who, because they were tired of Oduma’s attacks on, & lies about Hillery Clinton, supported for and voted for McCain.

    Like

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