>50 Posts: I’m the Little Engine That Could

13 Nov

For some reason, this image disturbs me.

I have less than 50 posts to write.

I’m pretty nervous about it.

Not nervous because I don’t know what to write.  I never really know what to write.  But about three months in, I had to have a long chat with myself about how I needed to relax and just write and not worry so much about the poo that came out when I did.

With 365 posts in a row no-excuses, there’s going to be some poo.

I’m actually just nervous that something will happen that will prevent me from posting one day.  I mean, I waited until pretty late tonight to post this.  What was I thinking?! I could have lost electricity.  My computer could have committed suicide.  My cats could have held me hostage.

I could have fallen into a spontaneous coma.

Every day, I’m threatened by a plethora of possibilities.  All of these things are threatening my almost-complete goal of posting once every day in 2011.

I don’t want to have to start all of this over again.  Can you imagine how awful that would be? Not that I don’t love you all and everything, but oh my good grief would that be just terrible.  I wake up in the middle of the night with my heart racing at the very idea.

What if I get in a car wreck and the nurse the hospital refuses to help me get in touch with someone who can bring me a laptop? What if she doesn’t believe I’m an Internet star and thinks I must have a concussion? What if I die?!

For the record, if I die before I complete these final posts, I don’t want this 2011 goal to be the basis of my funeral or my biography. I don’t want everything hinged on how I almost completed this one thing I set out to do.  

Then again, I can’t really think of any other solid goals I’ve made, so I’m not sure what else the biographer would write.

I’d like to think someone would write a biography.  Or do I have to pay someone to do that prehumous?  I’ll have to look into that.  Great.  There’s something else I have to take care of as this all winds down.

I might just lock myself in my apartment for the remainder of my self-imposed challenge.  That way I can severely reduce the risk of damage to my fingers or my brain.  That’s really all I need to keep going, here. I’m like the little engine that could.  The little nervous engine that could.  The little nervous engine that is huffing and puffing to the finish line.

Yeah.  That last one sounds about right.


14 Responses to “>50 Posts: I’m the Little Engine That Could”

  1. Jules November 13, 2011 at 7:31 pm #

    I always enjoy when you post about random daily annoyances for you. They come out pretty funny. Just throwing it out there.


  2. Katherine Gordy Levine November 13, 2011 at 8:25 pm #

    If I were wetting your eulogy, I would say she was a person of wit and caring, the world was better for here being part of it. She made me laugh, she made my crazy life seem saner. I lived my desire to have a cat, my daughter-in-law is allergic so cats are out, through her stories. She inspired me to write more and write better. Most importantly, she i reminded me to care for all creatures, large and small. I will miss her daily ramblings. .

    That said, one of the things I asked people to do when running Mission and Goals workshops was to write their own eulogy. I write and revise mine every five years. It is a good way of examining mission–what you want your life to stand for as well as more mundane goals. Posting every day of a year while difficult is still more mundane than what matters. Do I sound like a grumpy old lady? Sorry and as you know I was in the challenge, but have recently decided not to post on weekends, so I’m a failure at this particular challenge unless double posting counts. My heart has kept pounding and life does go on. .


    • Jackie November 22, 2011 at 12:39 am #

      Thank you so much for the kind words! I find your exercise to be ever so slightly morbid but I’m sure it’s also effective for the same reason 😉


  3. notanotherrandomgirl November 14, 2011 at 1:49 am #

    I really hope that you continue writing in 2012. If not a post a day, just a post a month or something like that.


  4. pegoleg November 14, 2011 at 10:39 am #

    If you locked yourself in your apartment you could die of all sorts of stuff there as well – fire, gas leak, murderers – so you might as well go about your biz. I think you can, I think you can…


    • Jackie November 22, 2011 at 12:32 am #

      Way to make me totally paranoid, Peg.


  5. JWo November 14, 2011 at 12:11 pm #

    I definitely admire your determination. I can’t imagine posting something everyday, hell it’s been 10 day since my last post because stuff like work, football and laziness get in the way.
    If there ever is a post-once-a-week challenge I’ll be all over it though!!!


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