I was going to write a post today about how I was away from my computer until now, driving toward the northerly patches of New York. I was going to talk about how I checked my email with great excitement only to find Groupon, Barack Obama, and Living Social. They aren’t even interested in me. They just want me to be interested in them. And so on and so forth until I whine about how I expected to be more important and am constantly let down, like when you turn your phone off all day and when you turn it back on, you’re somehow still kind of disappointed that you don’t have a lot of badgering to reply to.
But I already wrote about all that before.
Isn’t that crazy? I genuinely forgot all about it. Oh. Maybe that’s because this is my 356th daily post in a row and that’s the official number of topics I can write before I loop back again. Now we know.
Oh yeah – hey! I only have, like, nine posts left. NINE. I’m getting a lot of “hey how do you feel”, etc. And with the holidays coming up, I’m sure that my frequent obligations to have human contact will result in that happening more often. So because I’m already socially awkward enough without people approaching me, allow me to squelch as much of it as possible right now by saying it feels like pressure. Not pressure to write, exactly. I felt that for the first three months but after I realized that I had to write whether it was crap or not, I just kind of let it go and wrote whatever I could squeeze out. Some people call that giving up. I call it stream-of-consciousness. I like my term better.
When I say it feels like pressure, I mean pressure, like, not to die. Or get terribly ill. Or break my hands. Or do anything that would make me miss a day and thus require me to start all over again. If I’m repeating post ideas at number 356, can you imagine what a load of fantastical junk 2012 would bring? Honestly, how many more times can I write about my cats before you unsubscribe? Maybe twice. And I’m probably going to cash in on those two this week.
There is perhaps a slight bit of pressure in the area of writing quality, just because I started my official holiday vacation yesterday at 8pm and won’t return to reality until January 3rd: a full two days after my daily posting is shut down. Every day until then is going to be filled with food, family, sleeping, shenanigans, and fantasizing about never having to return to work again.
It’s unlikely that my posts will be any good.
But let’s be honest: you’re not going to read. Some of you are going to read because you’ve got this whole I-haven’t-missed-a-Jackie-post-yet thing going. And that’s super flattering and I’d really like to send you a warm puppy in the mail so you can understand how that makes me feel inside. But aside from you few, the majority of my readers will disappear into the land of egg nog and Auld Lang Syne, never to even see me cross the finish line.
So maybe we can strike a mutually beneficial deal here. I’ll try not to feel pressured to write anything of substance these next 9 days, and you, in turn, can feel no pressure to tune in to read what is bound to be pretty terrible.
Wow – seriously though. Nine days.
Good thing – I feel carpal tunnel coming on. ♣