‘Tis the season for white trash decorating!
One thing I love about Dave’s hometown is that it’s almost exactly like my hometown except his is in New York and mine is in Pennsylvania. It’s quite a bit more prosperous than mine was as well. It’s kind of like his hometown is what mine would be if mine hadn’t shriveled up and died of weary old age years ago. It at least feels like home in a way, even when it’s not really home. So on the way to his parents’ house for Christmas, I got a real dose of my own hometown loveliness: white trash decorating.
You know what I’m talking about. Little random crap figures in the yard, Christmas lights that look like someone had a seizure in the middle of throwing them on the bush, and (Lord help us all), those huge, plastic, inflatable snow globe things. Half of them have been there all year. The other half are thrown in for good measure at Christmastime.
Every time i see them, they’re only half-inflated and drowning in a sea of 10 others scattered about the sad, sad lawn.
Christmas spirit, indeed.
I’m not really sure why they bother. Who looks out on a lawn of half blown up life-size snow globes, a few crooked cardboard stands, and a weathered sign that says “North Pole” and thinks they’re doing their part to spread Christmas spirit? Of course, maybe it’s self-serving. Maybe it’s a matter of tradition and they don’t think it looks nice either but it’s what they grew up with so they keep doing it.
Can you help me understand this? Are you perhaps one of these people? Why do you do it? Why do you lug all of that stuff out of your attic, basement, of what-else-have-you only to blow them up halfway with no semblance of order or preconceived strategy?
I’ve thought about knocking on the door of one of these homes/shacks/trailers and asking why. I’d be all sly about it and compliment them on the lovely job they’ve done. I’m sure they’re super happy with it and will be glad to tell me all about it. Or maybe it will just be some guy in his underwear who complains about how his wife told him to do it so he just threw them all out there willy nilly like. Maybe half-inflated snow globes are just a sign of struggling matrimony in small towns.
I think I probably cracked the code right there. ♣