Hey there, my beautiful ducklings!
Too much? Too much.
Where on earth have I been? Actually, that’s a good question. An even better question: where on earth have you been? A hermit girl starts a blog to help herwy stop being a hermit, she stops going on adventures, stops posting, and you just go about your day!? I COULD HAVE DIED IN THERE.
“There” being the cocoon I just broke back out of. I could have died in the cocoon. I should have mentioned there was a cocoon. Speaking of cocoons, did it not occur to anyone that I recently posted that I was going to attend a UFO Convention for my next Lollipop Tuesday and then never returned to post about it? I could have been abducted.
Actually, I’m sure that would make for some pretty great material.
Anyway, I didn’t get abducted and I didn’t even go. Instead, I started the pathetic and classic Jackie downslide, wherein I stop doing constructive things (posting on blogs, trying new things) and instead do deconstructive things (playing a lot of Fat Princess, eating Cheez-Its). Anyway, I’m out of it now, no thanks to you. It’s just guilt that brings me back, not your scores of pleading. Just pure, unadulterated guilt. It started as a week I forgot, it went on as a week I intentionally skipped, and before I knew it, BAM – it’s National Blog Posting Month and I have yet to post on my blog. I haven’t participated in No Shave November either. No blog and no beard; I have failed you, November in America.
I thought about you all a lot. I really did. I thought about you lots of times. When it was my fourth day unshowered and I caught a whiff of my armpits while watching television, I thought of you. When I attempted to be constructive and try some craft pins on Pinterest and horribly, horribly failed, I thought of you. When I thought I was gay for Jennifer Lawrence and then didn’t because she said she liked Honey Boo Boo but then did again because she went on Ellen and was perfect, I thought of you.
look at what you let me become. LOOK AT IT.
So this Thanksgiving, friends, I’m thankful for you. Thanks for sticking around even when I didn’t bother to visit. Thanks for subscribing and following, and thanks for letting me come barf all my crazy on you. You’re the swellest.
Have a Happy Holiday and here’s to firing the blog back up. Now go eat so much you pass out with your pants unbuttoned. ♣
The Jackie Blog 