Tomorrow I have a fantastic opportunity for shenanigans.
Let me lay out the necessary, boring details for you quick like a Band-Aid: I have an all-day mandatory meeting with a large portion of the folks who work for the same company as me. Though I’ve been here for over a year, I didn’t go last year because I wasn’t yet official in this role. My boss has folks she interacts with in two places: the building I work in and a building downtown. Most of the people I coordinate with regarding her are downtown, which means that I’ve talked to them constantly over the phone or through email for a year and they have absolutely no idea what I look like.
Until tomorrow.
I have a lot of ideas. My favorite involves a pair of cat-eye glasses with the little string of beads that holds them around your neck when you’re not using them. I’d also like a long, ridiculous skirt, a drab cardigan, and a turtleneck. I’ll call it “Librarian Chic”.
I’d also like to adapt a few strange mannerisms. Talking about myself in the third person is not out of the question. And since food is always such a big to-do and all office meetings, I could probably get a lot of strange hubbub by bringing a sack of my own food. Like an entire sack of cold hot dogs.
That might bring about the wrong kind of questions. Let’s change that to a sack of Twinkies.
I think the overall image will be pretty fabulous. No one can really say anything to me because we’ve got this whole ‘include everybody, no matter how ridiculous they seem’ HR thing going on right now. And since my boss has taken ill, there’s a high chance she will not attend. The best part will be when she goes downtown next week and get a lot of puzzled buzz in the office about her strange assistant.
Of course, I’ve thought about going the complete other way and busting through the joint in a power suit and not talking to anyone. The urge to treat this occasion as a grand social experiment is just irresistible. Imagine how different my phone conversations and emails will be if I can create the image of someone entirely uptight/strange/powerful/better-than-thou – I have such a plethora of choices.
Feel free to chime in with one; I’ll throw together my wardrobe tonight. ♣ 
The Jackie Blog 
Do the cat eye glasses Jackie! Come on, I dare you! 😉
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I was checking some out with you-know-who a while ago and telling her about my brainstorm. 😉
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You could always let on that you don’t wear underwear and let the chips fall where they may.
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That’s not very motherly advice, Peg.
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This is hilariuous! I look forward to seeing what you do – either of those options wuold be pretty funny…
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I think I’ll go with librarian. I already have the trappings on hand, sadly.
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If only you could have this meeting more than once, and experiment. Wait! You could walk in in one outfit, excuse yourself to the restroom at some point, and come back in another. Do it three, four times. Hairdo changes and all. Quick-dry nail polish changes, too.
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Yeah – I’ll just shove all the outfits underneath my twinkies.
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Do tell us what you dress as 🙂
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looks like it’s librarian for the win 😉
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You should go with the weird quirky librarian thing. I think it’s hilarious.
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it would be a lot easier if I still fit into my clothes from 4th grade. I really captured the essence of it that year.
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I vote for the librarian. How about hotdogs using the Twinkies as buns? PLUUEZE pull this off; I’ve had quite a dull week and need a really good belly laugh!
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LOL well by all means you let me know when you’re having a rough time and I’ll go do something shameful and then write about it to perk you up. 😉
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I can’t wait to read about how it went!
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It was cold. I was sleepy. And uncomfortable.
The chicken was all right though. 😛
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