The Thrills of Adulthood Part II: My Palace of Filth

4 Dec

I’m protesting adulthood right now. 

My sink is absolutely chock full of dishes that have actually begun to take on a distinct smell, which I don’t like so I have a large Yankee candle lit in my kitchen to help me forget about it.  There are papers on the floor in my living room, evidence of a recently-rehearsed monologue, which my cats have deemed important and have therefore sprawled themselves across.  At one point yesterday there were so many cups on my coffee table in the living room that I began to think I was actually in the kitchen.

I just simply don’t feel like doing anything.

Sometimes I like to embrace being a grown-up in strange ways.  No one can tell me to clean my house, and that’s awesome.  No one can tell me whether or not I can blow a bunch of money on something completely stupid, and that’s awesome too.  I can make a blanket fort any time I like in any corner of the house I please, and I can blast music and dance around in my pajamas until 3 in the afternoon if it’s what tickles my fancy.

And lately, doing nothing at all has tickled my fancy quite fine.

I keep telling myself I’ll come out of it.  Either that, or Dave will get so tired of it that he takes over the entire house with adult sparkle magic one day.  That would be totally awesome.  I’ll promptly make a blanket fort in the newly cleaned domicile.

If he doesn’t give in soon, I’m going to have to eventually buck up because it’s highly likely that my parents will be in town next weekend and I’d hate for them to think I’ve given up on life or something (hi mom – thanks for reading).  Not even running out of dishes can stop me – I’ve already given up drinking anything except water from the bathroom faucet (because I keep a cup in the cupboard, constantly clean and ready for such an occasion), and I’ve taken to eating things that don’t require pots, pans, or anything more than a paper towel to handle.

I don’t know what happened to me.  I took off work on a bit of whim last Friday, had a 3-day weekend right on the heels of the 4-day weekend from the Thanksgiving holiday, and now I’m stuck in ‘off’ mode.  Which, relative to where I’ve been the rest of the year is a pretty excellent place to be.  I noticed that I’m a day behind on blogs (I used to post early in the morning and now I post late at night, to be read the next morning), that all I do when I have free time is watch movies and that going to work is just what I have to do until I can come back home and watch more movies.

Maybe it’s a December thing.  I decorated for the holidays, decided to not be so uptight about taking time away from the job, and now I’m so in love with it that my brain has found a permanent setting here.  I can’t bring myself to be bothered with the frivolties of adulthood.  I’d rather roll around in filth like a little baby piglet.  

Well, hopefully it’s more of a semi-permanent setting.  Eventually, I might have need of a clean dish. 

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17 Responses to “The Thrills of Adulthood Part II: My Palace of Filth”

  1. Michelle December 5, 2011 at 3:10 am #

    As a professional cleaner, I am appalled and dismayed. I am happy to offer my services free of charge. You need only provide me round-trip tickets (preferably first class) from the UK.

    Seriously, though, maybe it *is* a December thing. Less daylight, winter blues; lots of us move a bit more slowly this time of year.

    If, however, in a few weeks’ time you still haven’t cleaned your apartment, I’m comin’ over there to rescue you before you get buried under all those festering dishes and piles of junk…Atlantic Ocean be damned!

    Like

    • Jackie December 12, 2011 at 10:35 pm #

      wow, that’s an expensive cleaning 😉 But know that I have since purged the beast and my apartment is happy, healthy, and about to have its carpeting steam cleaned to boot.

      Like

      • Michelle December 13, 2011 at 2:50 am #

        I can rest easy now. Well done, you. 🙂

        Like

  2. Amy December 5, 2011 at 3:44 am #

    So glad to know someone else’s house is dirty! Mine looks like a hurricane went through it. I suppose 3 have…Hurricanes Amy, Chloe and Soleil (Chloe and Soleil are the cats). There were things on the coffee table but they are now all on the floor because Soleil likes to slide across the glass top. I have been working 3rd shift and doing online school. I have decided that I can no longer live like this. Then there is the fact that Chloe came up to me and looked over at the mess and then at me and shook her little head. I think it is time to clean.

    Like

    • Jackie December 12, 2011 at 10:31 pm #

      LOL yeah I’d say vocal disappointment from the cats is a sure sign 😉

      Like

  3. egills December 5, 2011 at 5:02 am #

    Ah, the joys of not having house mates / parents to moan of you ( or children that you are trying to impress the need for cleanliness on ).

    No seriously, I can’t actually relax if the place is a mess, it’s so annoying 😦

    Like

    • Jackie December 12, 2011 at 10:27 pm #

      I have a hard time relaxing in a pig sty as well but sometimes I just. don’t. want to.

      Like

  4. tod December 5, 2011 at 7:48 am #

    OMG I must be spoiled , because my roommate does the kitchen,and I do the bedroom and its kinda clean. Hmm is it true ? a womans work is never done? Im jus sayin 🙂 Nice Post.

    Like

    • Jackie December 12, 2011 at 10:26 pm #

      oh you are definitely spoiled. the kitchen dirties far faster than a bathroom. make your roommate dinner or something. 🙂

      Like

  5. pegoleg December 5, 2011 at 9:59 am #

    I think it IS a December thing. These short days make it hard to get up enthusiasm to do anything when I get home. But I agree you’ll want to reduce the mold population before your parents show up – that’s the sort of thing that makes us worry that you’re heading for a starring role on Hoarders.

    Like

    • Jackie December 12, 2011 at 10:25 pm #

      Note taken. I’ll be sure to ease their concerns with false perceptions.

      Like

  6. thesinglecell December 5, 2011 at 11:33 am #

    Oh, thank God. It’s not just me. I’m not presently in that state, but I’ve been close before. Then I have a fit of disgust and clean it all up and then some. But isn’t it funny how we find adulthood liberating? We don’t feel liberated to do that which is adult-like; we feel liberated to do that which is child-like. Hmmm…. a thinker.

    Like

    • Jackie December 12, 2011 at 10:24 pm #

      Right? But really I just end up regretting not staying on top of things. You can’t win: adulthood is full of guilt and awful pastimes.

      Like

  7. Momma December 5, 2011 at 4:55 pm #

    Well, daughter, you can stay in yourr llittle piggy state. We are staying at a motel when we come out. Dad wants to be alone with me……lol. So, you can stay lazy and have all the dirty dishes you want in your place. I don’t mind.

    Like

    • Jackie December 12, 2011 at 10:21 pm #

      I cleaned mommy! Come see meeeeeee.

      Like

  8. jaredblakedicroce December 7, 2011 at 12:57 am #

    Psssh, Clean Sh’mean! Hot pockets served in paper towels can keep you until i see you on dateline, misappropriated to a hoarding segment. CAN’T WAIT 😉

    Like

    • Jackie December 12, 2011 at 9:56 pm #

      I’ll get my claim to fame one way or another 😛

      Like

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