The Jackie Blog

Hey, Lollipop Tuesday has gotten harder with the removal of a car from the equation.  How was I supposed to make it to Scottish Line Dancing across town last night without a car to take me there?  I wasn’t.  So instead I decided to poke around a place I didn’t really belong.

Happy Lollipop Tuesday, ya’ll.

If you don’t think there’s anything special about Tuesdays, you should probably check out “What’s Lollipop Tuesday?” listed on this very same page at the tippy tippy top before reading on.  I don’t want you to have to keep living with that fallacy.

Have you ever wanted to just go in somewhere and pretend you belong there just to see if you could go unnoticed?  Or wanted to check out the inside of a building that seemed like it could be cool inside even though you didn’t really have a reason or a right to be there?  I think about those sorts of things a lot.  You can get away with a lot by just acting like you belong wherever you are.  Most people mind their own business and even the ones who don’t probably don’t have the courage to ask you why you’re out of your place.

Adventure.

That’s how Frank Abagnale Jr. did it, you know. 

Well he also had a significantly heavy skill set that was developed over time including check forgery, escape artistry, and general imposter.  But I don’t have any of those things so I had to just go with the ‘wander and look like you belong’ mantra. 

On the way to work today, as I was freaking out about spending last week getting a Lollipop Tuesday schedule together and then getting it knocked out of whack by the whole car-is-totaled-thing this weekend, Dave and I were walking and chatting about some of the buildings he’s been in.  I recalled a few weeks before that I was admiring a building downtown I never noticed the top of and he asked me if I’d ever been inside.   He had, he said, for a film shoot (big shot that he is) and it was truly beautiful.  He grabbed me and darted inside, where I saw a beautiful courtyard that was wasted behind closed doors.

As we drove past a beautiful building I see every day on the way to and from work, he asked me if I’d ever been inside it. Again, the answer was no and I asked how it was he ended up all these places.  After all, the building I was looking at had classes going on inside and wasn’t exactly public property from what I could tell.  

But I wasn’t going to be Scottish Line Dancing any time soon so on my way back home from work, I took a detour into the building and did my best impersonation of Frank Abagnale Jr. I just tried to blend in and not look nervous. 

Isn’t it stupid that someone can be so fearful of something so simple?  The worst thing that could happen was I’d get asked to leave.  What’s the big deal in that?   But when I look back only a few short months ago and I was paralyzed with fear at the idea of going in to a new restaurant alone, I’m glad for the awkward growing pains. 

As it turns out, the place is really lovely.  And it’s not that big of a deal at all to walk around a place you might not belong.  It was actually an art hall with  a little courtyard inside (what’s with these indoor courtyards?) and huge paintings.  I even poked through the hallways and stumbled upon a really lovely little auditorium all lit up without a soul in it. 

I made sure to take a picture so you wouldn't think I'm lying. Why do you always think I'm lying??

I considered a few uses for the stage; I always geek out when I find a new theater space. 

It was actually a really wonderful little time.  I don’t know when I lost my sense of adventure.  I should rephrase.  I don’t know when I let my fear trump my sense of adventure.  I think that when one succumbs to their fear, they settle.  I constantly deprive myself of new, sometimes mind-altering and almost always enjoyable experiences out of nothing but fear.  I don’t know what it will be like, what I’m supposed to do when confronted, what to say, how to blend in – all of these things are really not that complicated.  And yet somehow I let them get in the way.  That’s really what this whole year-long Lollipop Tuesday series has been about.

And I know I’ve said this before, because I really do so badly want you to try something new: but do something new this week. Anything.  Is there somewhere you’ve always wanted to wander into? Or a walk you wanted to take or a part of town you wanted to explore or a class, a person, an anything-whatsoever that you’ve wanted to do or engage and you haven’t?  It doesn’t have to be huge.  It can be small.  But make it something.  Then come tell me about it.

Gobble up your fear one little experience at a time. ♣

Tags: 365 Project, Humor, life, musings, postaday2011

Is it absurd to think this is a good time to enter every contest imaginable? 

For those of you who didn’t get a chance to read yesterday, our car was totaled.  With the bike obliterated from the accident involving it less than 2 weeks before, we are now completely without transportation aside from our feet.  I suggested to Dave that feet will do for now with a bit of planning, but Pittsburgh’s colds are so bad that you think you’ll never be warm ever again.  So obviously when the time comes, we’ll need to invest in sled dogs.

Because the chances that we’ll be able to house and use for transportation a pair of highly trained huskies throughout the winter is just about as likely as us getting a new car.

There’s a certain thought process one goes through when attempting to solve these adult life problems.  It’s this weird line of thinking

Magical problem-solving Oprah, hear my poor plight.

where you literally work through all the important things that your new situation affects and try to manage the disasters that are on their way prior to their actually being here.

It’s an art.  A painful, exhausting art.

So last night I sat and thought through Dave’s gigs, my work, Dave’s work, weekends we had planned away, and the upcoming holidays with my family in Amish country and his in New York.   And short of picking up a horse and buggy to be home for Thanksgiving and renting it out until Christmas, the sled dogs seem like our best bet.   I worked through the money lots of different ways.  And no matter what it comes down to, I just need more of it.  I just – need more of it.  I don’t have enough to fix my problems.

And then with no ideas and seemingly no options, I considered hooking.

You know: a lady of the night.  I mean, not really.  I couldn’t possibly be a hooker.  But mind you, this is how people come to the conclusion.  Dave is skeptic of that theory but it seems sensical to me.  

So the only other option if I can’t afford a car, need a car, and can’t be a hooker, is that I will have to win a contest.  Not just small contests – big contests.  I need car sweepstakes entries and lottery tickets.  I need to entice Oprah herself to be all like “Hey Jackie, nice blog.  Here’s a car.  I don’t have the show anymore but I like to give out the same amount per year anyway.  You know, for the karma.”

I think that’d be great press for her, you know? “Oprah gives car to famous blogger”.  

Feel free to notify her of my plan. ♣

Tags: 365 Project, Humor, life, musings, postaday2011